Where Are the Altar Boys?

catholic exchange ^ | 2/4/03 | James K. Fitzpatrick

[johnb2004]

Uh-oh...I can hear the sighs of protest, see the finger-wagging and scolding that will greet that last paragraph in certain circles in the modern Church. Feminist and New Age-types will insist that serving at Mass should not be the early stages of some Catholic good old boy network. I can hear the schoolmarmish voices of reproach admonishing that upstanding and "sensitive" young men should learn to rise above their macho derision of "girl's work," and be a real man. You know, like Alan Alda.

[ArrogantBustard]

Sinky overstates his case. As much as there is for Altar Boys to do in a Novus Ordo Mass, there's much more for them to do in a Tridentine Mass.

[Desdemona]

Yeah, I know, but being female, I'm sort of sensitive about my age.

[CCWoody]

Is this thread a practice run for a SNL skit?

Woody.

[ArrogantBustard]

Some dioceses, and some parishes, go out of their way to make sure there's nothing for the Altar Boys to do. Then they abolish the Altar Boys, and have adult women do some of the Altar Boy things, while the boys sit in the congregation. The Dreadful Diocese of Richmond is full of this phenomenon. It's a shame, and a disgrace to the bishop, the priests, and the mothers who perpetrate and condone it.

Oh, and there are virtually no vocations to the Priesthood being answered in the DDR.

[sinkspur]

The author apparently is not a slave to pop culture.

Pop culture? The sex abuse scandal was in all the papers down here in Texas.

And not in the entertainment section.

[johnb2004]

i was referring to his views on altar servers.

[sinkspur]

Is this thread a practice run for a SNL skit?

When I was in eighth grade, our diocese had a contest for altar boys. Priests would test us on altar movements, Latin responses, and things like "how far in advance should the charcoal in the incense thurible be lit at a Funeral Mass."

I won first place that year. Got a rubber chicken lunch out of it at the Serra Club.

[Alex Murphy]

It must really suck to be you ... do you enjoy having mind like a sewer?

What exactly are you reading into my comment, AB? All I said was that they were hiding out of fear. I didn't say what they were afraid of. You must have dredged up something in that noggin of yours that I didn't put there.

[conservonator]

Some dioceses, and some parishes, go out of their way to make sure there's nothing for the Altar Boys to do.

An acolyte’s lament…

First they came for the sensor and I said, “good, all that incense made me sneeze.”
Then they came for the Patons, and I said, “good, they made my arms tired.”
Then they came for the bells and I said , ”good, I was always off on my timing and Father gave me nasty looks.”
Then they came for the candles(well most of them anyway) and I said “good, I could never get the high one lit.”
Then they brought in the girls and I said, “Whoa, I didn’t know this was a chick thing.” So I left.

[drstevej]

Like that, it's funny.

[Pyro7480]

LOL! Great post

[Campion]

bump for fulfilled prophecy :-(

(This was exactly what conservatives predicted when the Vatican caved on the altar girl issue.)

[NeoCaveman]

Thank you for reminding me that I had read remarks before, something to the effect, "Thank God that I am not like the rest of men."

I may just be worse the most. But I found that comment sadly sinkspurian.

[sinkspur]

But I found that comment sadly sinkspurian.

Actually, I use that phrase quite often to refer to certain people around this place who look down their noses at the rest of us.

[NeoCaveman]

Right on.

[NeoCaveman]

Actually, I use that phrase quite often to refer to certain people around this place who look down their noses at the rest of us.

No, I meant the first comment he made not his quote.

[NeoCaveman]

And us? You got a mouse in your pocket. Shouldn't you be out on other threads calling people names?

I ran across that last night and got a good laugh at it. Who says jerkweed? Is it a regional thing?

[drstevej]

That post is pulled. Dang.

[sinkspur]

Who says jerkweed? Is it a regional thing?

I dunno. I heard it someplace. Don't remember.

[NeoCaveman]

Someone (not me) must have hit abuse on the poster.

So Deac, what is a jerkweed?