Arafat dead? (third-hand report)

Little Green Footballs ^ | 10/8/2003 | staff

[diamondjoe]

Guysen Israel News is running an unconfirmed report that Yasser Arafat has kicked the bucket!

[Mr. Mojo]

May God be unmerciful with his rotten soul.

[archy]

He saw Arnold's win
and that was the final straw
that rocked-out his heart?!

Nah, just that when Arnold announced his candidacy on the Leno show, Arafat was watching and said If that Austrian weightlifter gets elected as governor of California, may God strike me dead!

-archy-/-

[archy]

Remember the Jenin Massacre? That whole thing was typical of the PA and its French backers..

I dont think they wouldnt stoop low enough to blame his demise on Israel or even the US..

The French had better watch themselves. If they give us any grief, we can retaliate against Jerry Lewis....

-archy-/-

[EternalVigilance]

Dare we hope it's contagious?

[MeekOneGOP]

He's [NOT] dead, Jim.

[EternalVigilance]

[archy]

Sorry if I massively tank this. It's my first ever posted article on FR.

You did just fine.

-archy-/-

[Lijahsbubbe]

Oh no, not before E! Entertainment was able to do "It's Good to Be Yasser Arafat!"

[stranger and pilgrim]

Considering the first "fact" is wrong I wonder about the rest of this tale . . .

[NYC GOP Chick]

I'll never forget that woman doing the loo-loo-loo thing on 9/11

she and the Muslims crashing planes, killing thousands, is my Visual Diploma in the degree called Islam

sick sick sick

I know that feeling! I live a few blocks from the WTC site and was just outside it by a few short blocks when the first plane hit. I narrowly survived the first collapse, and by the time I staggered into my office late that afternoon and fired up my web browser, the very first image I saw was that fugly old hag. I wanted to put my hands around her neck and throttle her all by myself.

[JusPasenThru]

Whoa! Good job, Black Jack!

[MEG33]

Too bad this isn't a fact yet.May he get what he deserves.(I know ,that sounds too cruel)!!

[Jeremiah Jr]

There's no room for Arafat on the stage.

There's a new sharif in town

[RightOnTheLeftCoast]

The Parrot Sketch
Monty Python

A customer enters a pet shop.
Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, isn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, he moved!
C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, innit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'E's pining!
C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
O: Well, I'd better replace it, then.
(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)
O: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.
C: I see. I see, I get the picture.
O: I got a slug.
(pause)
C: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk?
O: Nnnnot really.
C: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
O: Look, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton, he'll replace the parrot for you.
C: Bolton, eh? Very well.

[MD_Willington_1976]

Arafat d'après nos informateurs serait décédé suite à un malaise cardiaque. News à prendre au conditionel un canular ou une tentative de désinformation ne sont pas à exclure.

Nous n'avons plus d'information sur l'état de ''santé'' d'Arafat . La nouvelle de son décès n'est toujours pas confirmée.

In English

Arafat according to our informants would have died after a heart attack. (Simply put) They are not taking the news as fact, the news may be an attempt at disinformation.

We do not have anymore information on Arafat's state of health. The news of his death is not yet confirmed.

[Simmy2.5]

Too bad this hasn't been confirmed/true yet. :-(

If it was, I hoped he enjoys his 72 virgins.

[Lanza]

"Weekend At Yassar's"


LOL! Now that's FUNNY!!!
Those people are so nutty, I could see this happening.

[ShandaLear]

The Ultimate Zot!

[Salem]

"The Parrot Sketch"

What a riot!  

[Pan_Yans Wife]

Lol