OK, dear it might fix my headache

The Australian ^ | October 3, 2003 | George Gordon

[demlosers]

WOMEN are duty-bound to provide their husbands with sex on demand, claims a controversial book on achieving wedded bliss.

Wives have a "loving obligation" to have sex whenever they are asked for it - even if they are not in the mood, says American author Dr Laura Schlessinger.

The 56-year-old sex therapist and radio host says marriages will survive and improve if men are viewed as a "gift from God".

And she urges women to stop nagging and whining, saying: "Be honest girls, that's what we do".

Her book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, will not be published until January, but it has already been labelled "outrageous" by feminists, marriage experts and psychologists.

Dr Schlessinger, who has a PhD in psychology, has written 60 books on marriage and attracts 100 million listeners every week to her radio show.

Her moralistic views have often clashed head-on with those who view marriage as an equal partnership.

In her latest book, she writes: "If husbands are expected to go to work and earn money and visit relatives they don't like, why can't wives put out on demand?"

Marriage counsellor Jennie Bergat condemned Dr Schlessinger's remarks.

"It is outrageous. Women have a right to be tired and if a woman is not in the mood, a man should respect that," Ms Bergat said.

"When you sign a marriage certificate you don't surrender privacy and rights. She is declaring that women are chattels to be used at the man's whim."

The Australian

[Wumpus Hunter]

"She is declaring that women are chattels to be used at the man's whim."

Hell hath no fury like a woman spermed.

[longtermmemmory]

True but I bet the significant number of cases where the man filed for divorce occured because the wife stopped having sex.

It is really a facinating topic. What is sex within marriage. It is "making love" an expression.

While I have a hard difficult time accepting the concept that a woman should just be hole for sexual release, I do see the point. I could also be that women just want sex less often than men which is creating a marital problem.

I want to know why sex stopped being fun for these women.

[annettethompson]

I just finished reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husband" by Laura Schlessinger and wrote a review of it for Amazon.com. I thought you might enjoy it too. It was a great book!

Dr Laura's book is sure to be controversial but for wives who are willing to do whatever it takes to make their marriages work, this book has the answers. Dr Laura tells it as it is as she explains a wife holds the keys to making her husband happy and her marriage successful if she will honor and respect her husband and give him attention and affection.

My husband gave me this book last week because he knew I had started reading books on how to be a better wife and I was already a fan of Dr Laura's books. I imagine that if a wife was a feminist or not ready to make sacrifices for her husband then giving her this book would not help. I recently gave up my business to concentrate on my family and was primed for what this book had to teach.

Men who read this will likely get their feelings validated. Some might possibly be insulted though by Dr Laura's assertion, "Men are borne of women and spend the rest of their lives yearning for a woman's acceptance and approval...men admittedly are putty in the hands of a woman they love. Give him direct communication, respect, appreciation, food and good lovin', and he'll do just about anything you wish...Your basic male is a decent creature with simple desires: to be his wife's hero, to be his wife's dream lover, to be the protector and provider for his family, to be respected, admired and apprecaited. Men live to make their women happy"

Though Dr Laura is Jewish, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" makes many the same points as conservative Christian marriage books such as "Liberated Through Submission", "Finding the Hero in Your Husband", "Joy of a Promise Kept", "His Needs, Her Needs" and the secular book "The Surrendered Wife".

The body of book is about 1/3 quotes from radio conversations with listeners and emails that Dr Laura has gotten. The heartfelt quotes from husbands drive home the points made. Dr Laura teaches that a good wife with her actions makes her husband the #1 priority in her life, clearly before both her job, parents, friends and even children. She tells women not to nag or mother this husbands because "If a man can't find peace in his own home, where he should be able to feel relaxed, accepted, loved, and content, he beings to hate coming home"

Dr Laura teaches that feminism has lied in claiming "men will oppress; they are the enemy; do not submit; terminate or donate." She condems the feminist movement "which supports personal success, acquisition, accomplishment amd power...over love, marriage and family."

I've read several criticisms of Dr Laura's position that it is a wife needs to meet her husband's sexual needs even when she's not in the mood. Dr Laura compares it to how irresponsible it would be for a husband to not go to work just because he's too tired or doesn't feel like it. If a wife still doesn't understand the reason behind her obligation, there are other books that cover this issue more thoroughly such as "Understanding the Purpose and Power of a Woman", "Making Sense Of The Men In Your Life" and "Sacred Sex: A Spiritual Celebration of Oneness in Marriage".

This is not a book for wives whose husbands are abusive but if you have a decent, hardworking husband husband and are willing to be unselfish and honor your marriage vows, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" will motivate you to be a great wife.

Annette Thompson
annette@precious.org