[Slings and Arrows]

It's a good start, but it needs a bit more meat. Statements from opponents of the Do Not Kill Me List would be a nice touch.

[palmer]

A Federal Appeals court today upheld the Federal Government's "Do not sodomize me" list. The list, created in response to public outcry over the recent legalization of sodomy by the Supreme Court, is designed to prevent sodomites from sodomizing people who have not given their consent to be sodomized.

"When Americans are sitting down to dinner or a parent is reading to his or her child the last thing they need is to be sodomized." said President Bush today at the White House. "So as authorized by the courts we are taking practical action to address this problem."

The government created the national registry to make it easier and more efficient for Americans to deny their consent to being sodomized. All sodomites will be required to check the registry before sodomizing anyone, but illegal immigrants, Muslims and politicians are exempt.