BIG-CITY LIFE A PARENT TRAP

Gee, why don't I have kids?? Because I haven't planned on having them yet.

Isn't preschool comparable to day care?

It depends. Many pre-schools are just glorified day cares. I substitute teach and can spot a kid a mile away who went to a certain pre-school in our area. Those kids are usually at the top of their classes and aren't afraid to read a book. It's noticable even through the upper grades because they had a good foundation. BTGOG, we sent ours there too (I was subbing in detention the other day and a kid said of one of mine, "wow, she's smart! she always get a 100 - proud mama!). Of course it may be that the parents are involved with their kids and it's parents who teach there.

Hey! Wait a minute! LOL! I always pay for my groceries with a credit card! It's a smart thing to do...I have 5 free air tickets as a result. Of course, I pay the thing in full every month.

The ones we see have to keep trying them, because many are at their maximum balance. Despite the squirming of the people in line, they do not seem to care at all. No shame, No Class.

They probably know at some level that they are not going to be paying these bills, sooner or later.

Actually Howard Stern, of all people, made a similiar point last year.

He was talking about people spending millions on townhouses or co-ops in Manhattan, while for less than one million you could live in a big house with a yard in, say, Pittsburgh. With the savings, you could afford to fly to New York every weekend and stay in the nicest hotels and you'd still come out ahead.

You might try to "spin" it that pre-school and daycare are comparable, but they really aren't. Preschool usually means 1/2 day and often only 2 or 3 days a week. The kids are sent there to socialize them and prepare them for kindergarten. Mom is available to pick up and drop off and sometimes volunteers to help the teacher.

Day care is day care -- all day and done for the convenience of the mother so she can work outside the home. Big difference.

When my kids were little there were many "co-operative" preschools in my locale where parents traded work in the school one day a week for part of the tuition bill. These could be privately run, or organized by the public schools or universities as a teaching, or research, project. These preschools offered the advantage of teaching the parent what was appropriate development for their child's age, as well as providing an exciting learning experience for the children. It was terrific.

I'm a graduate of four different co-operative preschools -- all run a little different, but each an excellent experience for my kids. The children got used to many different people providing programs for them with varying teaching styles because we would all take turns. The hired teacher would assign each of the moms to come up with a different craft, or music, or play idea each week. We would rotate duties so that nobody got stuck with the same thing every week. I remember how hard I practiced at home to come up with a music program when it was my turn -- but I did it, and the kids had fun.

These schools all required the parents to attend one night meeting a week that could involve the fathers, if the mothers were too tired to participate. At the evening meetings we discussed child rearing issues, issues at school, as well as planning the coming week's activities. For about 4-5 hours work & meeting per week, the moms had the privilege of sending the children to an excellent preschool for a reduced tuition. We also had no worries about our children being molested, or mistreated. We watched out for each other's kids.

Depending on whether the school was "private" or public, the meetings differed slightly. Meetings at the "private" schools often revolved around upkeep of the school facilities. Meetings at the "public" schools dealt more with child rearing issues because they received public funds, and the schools were really an extension of adult education classes. You could receive preschool education credits for attending, if you wanted them.

I have no idea if schools like this still exist. If not, someone should bring them back.

I was being sarcastic about "spinning".

My son went to a place called preschool that was there for the convenience of parents who had to work, or wanted their kids to socialize for a few hours a week. Some kids were there full time, some part time.

They had all the activities mentioned for preschools -- they learned to read and write before they got to kindergarten, they put on plays for the parents, they had gymnastics and dance lessons, they had nap times, they went on field trips, etc. Parents volunteered there as well.

I am a working mother and had to find a place for my son while I was at work. I don't really care if it was really just a daycare for my convenience, I consider myself lucky to have found such a place. My son loved it there, and he is 15 now and we are still friends with some of the kids and parents from those days, as well as his favorite teacher.

"The Millionaire Next Door"

Definitely a great book.

I'm retired and pretty much keep to myself up here in my trailer on the hill. I drive an old pick up truck and shop at Wal-Mart a lot.

Freaks my neighbors when my husband flys a helicopter in every now and then to save time. He's a self employed land developer. We like the simple life with all bills paid and the freedom of our own business.

It sounds like your son had a wonderful experience. You are lucky. None of my children (who are all grown with children of their own now) have ever found a co-operative nursery school in their parts of the country (Virginia, S. Carolina, Kansas, New Jersey). I don't know if they exist any more. My experiences were all in California in the Berkeley area and in the late 1960s.

Co-op preschools were vey popular in Northern California, but I know that when we moved to Texas in 1973, there was nothing like it there. Everything was either an expensive, full blown nursery school where there was a waiting list and parents were not welcome during the day, or a "Mothers Day Out" program run by various churches. Luckily my kids were in school full time by then, but I felt sorry for the young mothers in my neighborhood that they did not have a co-op as a choice.

The co-op provided a group of ready made friends for my children and opportunities to share baby sitting and car pooling for me, to say nothing about the learning experiences offered. It was just great.

The first one I joined was operated by the University of California as a "laboratory school." My daughter was 2, and we went 2 days a week. At that age, we did not leave the children there, but attended every session. This was a learning experience, not "mother's day out".

There was a room adjoining the play room with one-way glass where students and researches could watch the kids and moms interact and take notes. That's not why my daughter and I went there. My husband was still in school, and the University preschool offered the most incredible array of toys for the kids. Not only could I have never afforded so many good quality toys, I wouldn't have had room in my apartment for them!

I particularly remember a whole wall of the large (made out of 2 x 4s) Playschool natural finished blocks. I don't think they even sell them any more. I know that I have never found them for my grandchildren. My own kids had the beginner set (about 50 blocks) at home, but at school they had more blocks than you could possibly imagine. There was no limit to what they could build!

Then there were the sand and water tables! Way too messy for home, but they really looked forward to them at school. And all the trikes and fire trucks and every vehicle a child could want, with a built in group of friends to play games with.

My husband graduated and we moved to a neighborhood where it was inconvenient to go to the University preschool any more, so my other kids did not start at two. Their three and four year old experiences were similar to the University, but a little more structured, as you might imagine.

You are a fool.

read later bump