[hotpotato]

Though this was published a month ago (I did a search and did not find it in FR), it's works today... and besides, Dave Barry is just plain funny.

[Right_in_Virginia]

Call the American Teleservices Association, toll-free, at (877) 779-3974, and tell them what you think. I'm sure they'd love to hear your constitutionally protected views! Be sure to wipe your mouthpiece afterward.

ROFL ;^D

[AVNative]

I have a plan to help the French regain favor with the American people and fight the teleterrorists at the same time: Introducing the "Bonjour Goodbye" dinnertime peace service!

Here's how it works: we have all noticed that the French have been suffering unemployment because of the U.S. boycott on all things French. We let the French help us (and we help them) by them dealing with the ever-pesky teleterrorists. They get hired by us to pick up the phone if and when it rings while we want peace and quiet during dinnertime. Your French server says "Bonjour" and "Au Revoir" go the telebaddies!

For a small extra charge, your French server will personally clean and flush your toilet. Obtaining extra water for those low flow toilets would also be a minimal extra charge, with pure Perrier water supplied directly from France.

English fluency would not be required or be a problem as the teletroublers always have that telltale pause, followed by the din of the calling room as background noise on the telephone line. Problem solved, and we get to get the French back in line again! What a deal. . .

Here's how to order. Uh, strike that! Visit www.bonjour_goodbye for your own personal French telemarketer terminator. PayPal accepted!