Dave Barry: Call me what you want, but don't call me at dinnertime

Sacbee ^ | 8-31-03 | Dave Barry

[hotpotato]

There's just over a year to go before the 2004 presidential election, and everybody in the nation is extremely excited. Except of course the public. The public, shrewdly, pays no attention to presidential politics until all of the peripheral dorks have been weeded out, and it's finally time to make a selection between the two main dorks left over.

[hotpotato]

Though this was published a month ago (I did a search and did not find it in FR), it's works today... and besides, Dave Barry is just plain funny.

[Right_in_Virginia]

Call the American Teleservices Association, toll-free, at (877) 779-3974, and tell them what you think. I'm sure they'd love to hear your constitutionally protected views! Be sure to wipe your mouthpiece afterward.

ROFL ;^D

[hotpotato]

I was watching Chris Matthews and he tried more than once to get the phone number of his visitor who is the head of some telemarketing advertising organization (I can't remember the name of the organization). Matthews obviously disliks telemarketers and didn't understand why he had to continually be subjected to their calls. Of course, the telemarketer head refused to provide his number claiming people didn't want to call him to sell him anything. He suggested that they only wanted to call him to let him know what they think of telemarketers. He said people only had to tell the telemarketer not to call them or ask for their supervisor's number to be sure they got put on the do-not-call list (the question didn't come up about what people who are hung up on when they ask to be placed on a company's do-not-call list or where the "telemarketer" is a recorded message are supposed to do). He was there to protest that telemarketers should be allowed to call because of free speech. No "free speech" for protesters, I guess.

[AVNative]

I have a plan to help the French regain favor with the American people and fight the teleterrorists at the same time: Introducing the "Bonjour Goodbye" dinnertime peace service!

Here's how it works: we have all noticed that the French have been suffering unemployment because of the U.S. boycott on all things French. We let the French help us (and we help them) by them dealing with the ever-pesky teleterrorists. They get hired by us to pick up the phone if and when it rings while we want peace and quiet during dinnertime. Your French server says "Bonjour" and "Au Revoir" go the telebaddies!

For a small extra charge, your French server will personally clean and flush your toilet. Obtaining extra water for those low flow toilets would also be a minimal extra charge, with pure Perrier water supplied directly from France.

English fluency would not be required or be a problem as the teletroublers always have that telltale pause, followed by the din of the calling room as background noise on the telephone line. Problem solved, and we get to get the French back in line again! What a deal. . .

Here's how to order. Uh, strike that! Visit www.bonjour_goodbye for your own personal French telemarketer terminator. PayPal accepted!