DFU SONG: Venus (Venutians, Gray Davis welcomes you)

MIDI - VENUS - if you have trouble playing the MIDI and seeing the lyrics, save the MIDI to your Windows Media Player or Real Player

Oh, Venus...hey, Venus
Venus, here's good news
The Golden State's the one you ought to choose
'Cause people come from every planet here
They're welcome...Gray has made it clear

Some have come from Mars
Took acting classes...and now they are stars
And we have our share of Plutonians
They make the freshest hot dog buns

Venus...why live in that poison gas
We have cleaned up our air
Come here and get welfare

Venus, there is more
Each DemocRAT in this state is a whore
Just sit down on your butt and watch TV
They'll give you what you need for free

source

LIFE ON VENUS

Character Traits
Venutians are an extremely small minority in America. They are natural leaders who have successfully navigated a difficult examination process to enter their profession. They are well-educated, serious and intelligent like Martians, they value duty, honor and integrity, though they are less vocal in their support of those values. They are most often spotted overseas in Embassies and at "official events" where they represent the United States. They also feel at home in Washington, D.C. In the Midwest or other parts of the United States, a Venutian is often an alien, more conversant on international issues than domestic ones. Venutians frequently find that explaining what they do for a living is met with blank stares. Clothes are unimportant necessities for many Venutians, but they would never be caught in a uniform. For male Venutians the normal style of dress is a dark three-piece suit. The female Venutian is often in ethnic garb, or business clothes that do not stand out in a crowd. Although their work demands an ability to make small talk in a seemingly endless round of official cocktail parties and ceremonies, most are happiest when left alone to quietly do their work. Venutians also speak a somewhat foreign variant of English - acronyms and unusual words like "consul", "demarche" and "cable traffic" are part of everyday speech.

Venutians value competence, intellectual ability, and individual achievement. They are analysts who report world events - much less interested in "facts" than in how what happened relates to a larger picture. They believe in intuition and psychology. Planning is anathema to most Venutians. They see so many different paths, depending upon how future events will play out, that they are hard-pressed to come up with one plan that they feel has any validity. They generally prefer a more fluid approach that is event-driven. They are goal-oriented, but the goals they strive to achieve are often broadly defined, rather than specific.

Venutians are less concerned with punctuality. In fact, they are often late, especially for internal or interagency meetings - "what's a few minutes late when I was in the middle of an important discussion with the Foreign Minister of country X". Timeliness is not particularly valued - there is little recognition that you might be wasting other people's time by making them wait or by canceling a meeting at the last minute. If the other issue that held you up or forced you to cancel was important, then "what's the problem?"

Like Martians, Venutians are generally not good listeners (unless they are in reporting mode, in which case they are excellent listeners). Their world is painted gray - very little in it is black or white. Individualism is rewarded above teamwork and most Venutians thrive on being given an assignment where they alone can excel. They intellectually believe in the importance of teamwork, but in practice, find it a difficult model to use.

The Landscape of Venus

Most Venutians serve in one of four areas- political, economic, consular or administrative. Different skills are required in each. They generally serve two or three-year assignments in an Embassy or in Washington before moving to a new position. Venus is an individualistic, but bureaucratic institution. It has a hierarchical structure on paper, but, in practice, there is little respect for the hierarchy. It is plagued by difficult management challenges, including the potential consolidation of two other federal agencies with State, the need for infrastructure improvements, and the challenge of operating in more areas with less money.

There is always a healthy tension between Venutians in Washington and those serving in overseas posts - events and decisions look different depending upon one's vantage point. Often those in Washington better understand the domestic political climate and regional issues; those overseas better understand the nuances of the bilateral relationship and the personalities of the local leaders. Both perspectives are important and when it works, as it should, both contribute to coherent foreign policy decisions.

Institutional values on Venus are fluid. Loyalty is important but so is an opportunity to protest actions with which one disagrees (a dissent channel for cables is available for this purpose). The employee evaluation system rewards individual efforts more than teamwork. If, by virtue of a hostile outside environment, Venutians are forced to live together in a "compound" or joined housing, then each often keeps his/her door closed when home and may avoid group activities.

Decision-Making on Venus

Venutians enjoy the process of problem-solving, seeing endless possible solutions and analyzing each of them before finally arriving at a preferred course of action In contrast to the episodic decision-making process on Mars, for Venutians decision-making is continuous and rarely conclusive. It is a constant process, a lifecycle with no end. Venutians lead through ideas to what needs to be done, a "lets think about it differently, or have you considered it from this angle". They can be tough minded with others, act strongly and forcefully in the field of ideas, and are basically intellectually challenging people focused on implementing long-range visions.

Venutians use an informal problem-solving process. Rarely do they proceed in a step-by-seep approach; rather, they prefer brainstorming. Venutians build on an open exchange of ideas, concepts, and thoughts provided by all at the table - regardless of their position in the hierarchy. When attending a meeting, the Venutian might bring a notepad and perhaps take a note or two. When making a presentation, it will generally not be one with color-guided PowerPoint slides, each containing five points all nicely set out; rather it will be in the nature of a conceptual approach. A few thoughts may have been jotted on a notepad to trigger ideas, but a formal agenda is unlikely. A Venutian is comfortable with the concept of negotiation or even trade-offs to reach agreement "Compromise" is in their vocabulary, recognition that a feasible solution involves give and take.

The cable is the Venutian's stock in trade. Even in today's computer world, most information between overseas and Washington is transmitted via cable. The ability to write good cables is one of a Venutian's most valued skills. They are taught to analyze and write, to develop options for action, and to look not only at the facts, but also at what caused those facts. Oddly enough, particularly in Washington, the ability to read cables is not nearly so valued. Overseas, cables often contain instructions and are read more closely, but Washington decision-makers are so busy and intuitive that they often skim the summary paragraph and the subject line and never get to the more detailed discussion.

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