Posted on 09/19/2003 6:03:30 AM PDT by Wolfie
Tommy Chong Will Be Free in Prison
I feel genuine shock and sorrow upon the news that Tommy Chong is going to prison for nine months. At the same time I am joyful. For one thing, the only other prominent American who up till now is serving a newsworthy jail term for a paraphernalia conviction is Chris Hill, who was such an outspoken Young Republican that it was hard to garner much sympathy for him even within the tobacco accessories industry. There was always a bit of schadenfreude whenever Hill's fourteen month stint at the Eglin prison facility was mentioned. Tommy Chong is a different story.
I enjoyed Cheech and Chong as I was growing up in the seventies and still own one of those gatefold album-sized Big Bambu rolling papers. I was no stoner (but counted many among my friends) and found the comedy duo's routine fun although silly. But, like the late humorist Lenny Bruce, they shocked and broke new ground in comedy. It became not only acceptable but fashionable to joke about marijuana and its many effects not only on college campuses but in Las Vegas and beyond. Cheech and Chong proclaimed that the world was full of pot smoking fools and we were free to recognize our own spacey smoky dumbassedness and not be ashamed.
When Tommy Chong re-appeared in the television series That Seventies Show and in the marijuana classic Half-Baked, it was a triumphant return. He neither glorified the druggy life or condemned it; it was simply the endearing role of a character which he had always played, like the perpetually drunk Otis in the Andy Griffith Show a generation ago.
Chong continued to use the character and his personal belief in the goodness of marijuana when he lent his name to a glass pipe company as well as a drug detox product. Both Nice Dreams Enterprises (operating as Chong Glass) and Tommy Chong's Urine Luck were successful tax-paying companies. Both advertised openly in consumer magazines like High Times and in industry publications such as HeadQuest (which has since the paraphernalia crackdown turned its attention and advertising toward the tattoo and body piercing business). Like dozens of other glass companies, Chong Glass operated as an above-board corporation and Tommy Chong must have thought that he was free to do so.
When Operations Pipe Dreams and Headhunter swooped down from the DEA at outrageous taxpayer expense last winter, 55 of the more prominent paraphernalia company owners were arrested and Chong was not spared. Months of speculation followed among the storekeepers and wholesalers followed. Many waited for the sentences to be handed down before marking down their wares and getting out of the pipe business altogether. Some went ahead and closed voluntarily. Some were confident that, because the government had targeted the wealthier of the glass dealers, there would be money and topnotch lawyers to fight the good fight.
The details of Tommy Chong's court date were all over the Internet by September 12th, the day after his sentencing. Guilty. Nine months‚ imprisonment, a $20K fine, and $100K in forfeited assets.
Chong's attorney Richard Hirsch had offered the court a deal for leniency: Chong would repudiate his involvement with marijuana and the bong industry and promised to spend his probation making appearances speaking against drug use. The judge said no dice.
Thank you, Judge Schwab.
Because of the court's refusal to accept this devil's bargain to turn Tommy Chong into another horrible Just Say No advertising shill for the Partnership for a Drug Free America, Chong is a free man. For the mere price of nine months in jail, he can spend the rest of his life as a hero for libertarian ideals. He doesn't have to kiss John Ashcroft's ass. He doesn't have to be a liar and a hypocrite. Like those who went to jail and endured the blacklist during the McCarthy Era, Chong can maintain his integrity in these increasingly right-wing Big Brother times. He can use this imprisonment to publicize the punishment inflicted by our government for a non-violent crime which has harmed no one.
Henry David Thoreau said that those who are in prison are in essence the most free.
Face the future with grace and courage, Tommy. Your jail sentence will only add to the authenticity of the beloved character you have delighted us with for decades. The youth of America are depending on you to tell the truth about marijuana. Do the right thing for all of us.
Thoreau was an idiot (and not just because of this quote).
And the key should be thrown away why again? Because Tommy was selling a "legal" product? Because Tommy wasn't actually selling drugs?
Hammers are used in B&E's and in murders. Maybe we should go after Craftsmen and Sears next...
Not Chong. That's a reference to this guy.
Silver lining ping.
Tommy Chong's Urine Luck is "a drug detox product"? Sounds more like something designed to help the buyer beat urine tests.
I'm bummed that Chong is in jail, but while the product may be legal, it is my understanding that selling it over the web was in fact illegal. Stupid law, maybe, but he wasn't thrown in jail without being found guilty of a crime.
This is the DEA version of busting the squeegie guys. Remember Guliani in NYC? I don't think they think this will have an affect on drug use (I was gonna get high, but since I can't buy a pipe, I'll go to church instead?)
But it sends a msg that the law is out there and we'll break your face so wise up. It's supposed to intimidate and send a msg, and also to make people anxious for the DEA to be successful more satisfied.
That's just a guess, but that's how I see it. You want a pipe? Take a pepsi can, poke little holes in the side with a push pin to create a little 1" diameter screen. Poke a 1/4" hole in the side for a "carb." Instant pipe.
There's always home depot if you need a bong. I suppose the glass pipes are sought after by meth and crack users. I don't know what homemade designs exist for them, but there must be a million of them. Store bought paraphenalia is boutique stuff. Showpieces.
Heh...I've done that MacGuyver move more than a few times.
Codes, statutes, ordinances and acts are not laws, nor does government have the authority to define 'crime'.
That very same 'Coke'(I hate Pepsi even if Britney does/did commercials for them ;-) can can be used. After you prepare it the way you described, just add ashes on top of the 'screen' and plop the rock on top. It's not nearly as efficient, but it works. By adding the ashes from a cigarette, nearly any pipe that is used for smoking pot will work. So I've heard.
The fact that it was his attorney that came up with the deal bothers me. In his comedy act he referred to his sons working the business. If he offered this deal to protect his children, I could certainly understand that.
Tommy Chong has worked since the 70's. Over the years, before That 70's Show he'd pop up here and there and did the comedy club circuit (a really funny act with his wife Shelby). He's supported his family and paid taxes while jumping thru hoops for the local law enforcement as he toured... every little podunk town wanted to be the one to bust Tommy Chong.
He is in a position to be a reasonable voice by means of his chosen profession. Ozzy's child was involved... Ozzy had to do what he felt was right as a parent so when he turned WODdie I could relate. Tommy Chong had alot of bravado in his club act and I hope he can back it up.
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