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Compliments of MnM's dialtectizer..."Simple Man"
(To be sung t'Charlie Daniels Ban''s "Simple Man")

ah ain't nuthin' but a simple man, as enny fool kin plainly see...
Lef' calls me a redneck, reckon thet ah's...
But thar's thin's goin' on make me mad as a weasel in a blender down t'th' co'e!
ah gotta wawk like Lef''s dawg, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!..ah's inslaved t'DeeCee...
Whar crooked politicians sell our Nukes t'Chinese,
An' ah's madder than Hell an' ah ain't gonna take it no mo'e!
Reagan told our kids to, "Jest Say No! Fry mah hide!"
But then Ol' Slick Willie jokes, "Less haf t'other toke!"
Tells us 'bout his briefs, then laughs while his intern goes down, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Wal, eff'n ah had mah way wif this hyar Apostle Fum Hope,
I'd take a trimenjus tall tree an' a sho't piece of rope,
I'd hang 'im up high an' let 'im swin' 'til Ol' Slick steps down! Fry mah hide!

Wal, yo' knows whut's wrong wif th' wo'ld today,
Varmints done gone thrown their values away,
They livin' by th' "Law of Slick Willie" not th' "Law of th' Lan'."
Wal, th' Good Book says it so ah need no mo'e proof...
"A Lie's still a Lie an' th' Truth's still th' Truth."
Billy Joe better watch whut he's sayin', Law's closin' in on him,
Cain't yo' Houn'dogle see it?! Fry mah hide! Slick's a Felon, man! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!

Now ah's th' kinda man who'dn't harm a mouse,
But eff'n ah ketch somebody bustin' in mah house,
ah gotta 12-gauge shotgun waitin' on t'other side!
So doesn't hoof it a pushin' me aginst mah will,
ah doesn't wanna fight ya but ah durn sho'nuff will,
So eff'n yo' doesn't be hankerin' trouble yo' better jest pass me on by! Fry mah hide!
Becuz as far as ah's corncerned thar ain't no excuse,
Fo' Slick's Rapin', Mad Bombin', an' Power Abuse,
But ah gotta way t'put an ind t'all thet madness...
Yo' jest put them Lib'rals back on a boat,
Send 'em all Fust-class an' make sho'nuff thet it floats,
Send 'em all 'roun' th' wo'ld an' leave 'em wharvah they like best! Fry mah hide!

Wal, yo' knows whut's wrong wif th' wo'ld today,
Varmints done gone put their Bibles away...
They livin' by th' "Law of Billy Joe Clinton" not th' "Law of th' Lan'."
Wal, th' Good Book says it, so ah need no mo'e proof,
A Lie's still a Lie an' th' Truth's still th' Truth! Fry mah hide!
Billy Joe better watch whut he's sayin', we is closin' in on him, dawgone it...
Right's Hell-bent on Jestice...Slick's a Traito', man! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!

Billy Joe, watch whar yer goin', Slim's jest aroun' th' bend, cuss it all t' tarnation...
Freepers're bent on Jestice, yer jest Hist'ry, man! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!

LOL...MUDBOY SLIM