Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

The Dowd Is Sinking
dansargis.org ^ | September 4, 2003 | Dan Sargis

Posted on 09/04/2003 8:27:13 PM PDT by Dr.Syn

The Dowd Is Sinking

September 4, 2003

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...Maureen Dowd almost approached being average. She was just another liberal comfortably lying in Timesville comforted by the warmth of her politically correct dogma. She preached to her choir and the faithful understood her...even though no rational person did. But then she found a gray hair and the harmonic imbalance occurred.

There is a rumor that her recent paranoid ramblings are directly linked to the loss of a Prozac prescription. The poor dear’s mediocre intellect must be ravaged by the onset of a permanent hot flash. I certainly hope the New York Times humanely puts this has-been out to pasture because she has become udderly nonsensical.

In the early stages of the affliction, we find a slightly Dowdy Maureen almost jealously despising Republican women whose hearts, so she claims, "go boom-boom" at the thought of President Bush’s "leg-hugging harness". Maybe Maureen would like a bit of that "boom-boom" also.

Catching herself slipping into the realm of male desire, Dowd rebounds and yearns for the halcyon days of masculine pathos when presidential, "contenders showed softer sides, crying, wearing earth tones, confessing to family therapy." I am sure that this softer side approach would similarly impress the Islamofacists and their liberal enablers.

In a full-blown tirade of penis envy, Dowd unleashes on America’s real enemies, "Spike TV, the first men’s channel, offers ‘Baywatch,’...’Stripperella,’ ‘The A-team,’ ‘American Gladiator,’ ‘Car and Driver,’ and ‘Trucks!’" My God...she has discovered the source of her terror..."free-floating testosterone". Maureen, you have such a queer eye for the straight guy.

And just to prove what a vast conspiracy of "the normal" she has unzipped, Dowd "outs" Erica Walter, who sees Bush as, "...a contained, channeled virility." Dowd emphasizes that Walter is (in her quotes) "an at-home mom and Catholic...." Oh Fidel...save the world, there is a religious mother on the loose.

Perhaps a sudden withdrawal from psychotropic medication prompted Maureen to inadvertently open the vault of liberal deception when she asks, "Shouldn’t real men be able to control their puppets?" The confusion of night sweats had her talking about Bush while she was, in fact, reminiscing about the past. Under the strain of Delirium Tremens, Maureen was probably referring to the puppets at the New York Times and other elite media dancing on the liberal strings of the Clinton cabal.

Through a series of op-eds, Dowd really nosedives into the bipolar world of delusion. Case in point...she insists that Bush "...doesn’t want us to know" what went wrong during the period preceding 9/11. Hey Maureen, I’ll give you a hint: The World Trade Center truck bombing (Feb. 26, 1993), the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S. military personnel, the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19 and injured 200 U.S. military personnel, the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224 and injured 5,000, the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39 U.S. sailors. The BIG secret that Bush is keeping must be that terrorism had a free reign while Clinton was busy sharing his Tootsie Pop...or was it hiding his Tootsie Roll? Oh, that’s right...he did once bomb an aspirin factory.

In a more lucid moment, Dowd shares the reality or war, "Our exhausted and frustrated soldiers are in a hideously difficult environment they’re not familiar with, dealing with a culture America only dimly understands...and where we’re so strapped that soldiers may have to face back-to-back yearlong overseas tours." Sounds familiar to my father and many like him who served continuously from 1941 to 1945 in the unbearably infested jungles of the Pacific Theater fighting disease, cannibals and the Japanese. Get ready for the pain Maureen...my Dad and his peers were and are your worst nightmare...they are real men and never complained. They just won and gave you the luxury brattle on.

I am begging the New York Times to help their own before it’s too late. This sordid tale of personal implosion could terminate with an adult toy store robbery. Somebody please ease Dowd’s pain. She is sinking fast and her last cry says it all, "...please find some real men." Any takers?

Please feel free to send any comments, suggestions or corrections to:

inosome@dansargis.org


TOPICS: Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: bush; dowd; maureendowd; unendowd
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-23 next last
This is good for a few laughs!
1 posted on 09/04/2003 8:27:13 PM PDT by Dr.Syn
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Miss Marple
Ping!
2 posted on 09/04/2003 8:36:07 PM PDT by ABG(anybody but Gore) (Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a Tagline!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
That is better than whatever Mo wrote to get that Pultizer thingy...

;)PaMom

3 posted on 09/04/2003 8:39:01 PM PDT by PennsylvaniaMom (If we are going to hell in a handbasket, I want mine to be a pretty Longaberger one.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
Dowd is pathetic and a liar. I don't pay her much mind. She and the NYT deserve each other.
4 posted on 09/04/2003 8:39:33 PM PDT by buzzsaw6 (a Bright light in a Dem district!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
bump!
5 posted on 09/04/2003 8:42:59 PM PDT by demlosers
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
Something's been bothering Maureen lately.

What could it be?

6 posted on 09/04/2003 8:48:03 PM PDT by Jim Noble
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
Great stuff!
7 posted on 09/04/2003 8:48:47 PM PDT by JoeSixPack1 (POW/MIA - Bring 'em home, or send us back! Semper Fi)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Blue Highway
ping
8 posted on 09/04/2003 9:02:19 PM PDT by perfect stranger (There is no top to the food chain, it's all just a cycle.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
Is she supposed to be, like, a somebody or something?
9 posted on 09/04/2003 9:08:37 PM PDT by JoJo Gunn (Help control the Leftist population. Have them spayed or neutered....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
LOL! Great article.
10 posted on 09/04/2003 10:54:11 PM PDT by nutmeg (Is the DemocRATic party extinct yet?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Miss Marple; Hillary's Lovely Legs
ping!
11 posted on 09/04/2003 10:54:38 PM PDT by nutmeg (Is the DemocRATic party extinct yet?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: StarFan; Dutchy; alisasny; Black Agnes; BobFromNJ; Brad's Gramma; BUNNY2003; Cacique; Clemenza; ...
ping!

Please FReepmail me if you want on or off my infrequent ‘miscellaneous’ ping list.

12 posted on 09/04/2003 10:55:12 PM PDT by nutmeg (Is the DemocRATic party extinct yet?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
"Dowd rebounds and yearns for the halcyon days of masculine pathos when presidential, "contenders showed softer sides, crying, wearing earth tones, confessing to family therapy." I am sure that this softer side approach would similarly impress the Islamofacists and their liberal enablers."

. . .This must be the explanation for the so-called 'teary/misty eyed John Kerry the other day. . .though even 'close-up' I can see no tears. . .

Kerry must have taken note of the 'Dowdy one's' yearnings and tried to come through on that 'real man' message.

Still waiting for him to 'buck up' and just say he was just rubbing tired eyes; but think he really agrees with Maureen and imagines his audience does as well.

As for Maureen's plaintive cry for 'real men'; she sadly and unwittingly, has made it clear that she has neither the eye, mind or heart for one.

13 posted on 09/05/2003 5:34:51 AM PDT by cricket
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
. . .and yes, thanks for posting. . .enjoyed the observations and LOL's. . .
14 posted on 09/05/2003 5:37:36 AM PDT by cricket
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
Sad that the daughter of a cop sank so low so fast.
15 posted on 09/05/2003 5:40:38 AM PDT by 185JHP ( "All not actually on watch, lay to your racks...")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jim Noble
"CHICAGO" was recently put out on DVD. That can't help!


16 posted on 09/05/2003 5:44:28 AM PDT by EllaMinnow
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
Limbaugh continued: "It's obvious Maureen Dowd hasn't gotten over her breakup with Michael Douglas who she thinks is a real American president but he didn't do anything but utter the words written for him by Aaron Sorkin and stand where someone director told him to stand and have his hair coifed by somebody who knew what to do, and then he blew it by running off with Catherine Zeta-Jones, leaving Maureen Dowd in the lurch. All she's got now is bourbon for mouthwash, and it's showing on her columns."
17 posted on 09/05/2003 5:45:10 AM PDT by TomHarkinIsNotFromIowa (Foe Hammer!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn

NY Times editor (left) anxiously waits for Maureen Dowd to finish her latest column..

 

 


18 posted on 09/05/2003 6:16:15 AM PDT by Fintan (The inky-dinky spider ran up the water spout...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Syn
...she has become udderly nonsensical.

OH, the horror!

Maureen also has......silly boobs.

19 posted on 09/05/2003 6:21:17 AM PDT by N. Theknow (A Rose by any other name would be Shoeless Joe Jackson)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Fintan
LMAO!!
20 posted on 09/05/2003 6:24:21 AM PDT by cibco (Xin Loi... Saddam)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-23 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson