Girls, Boys, and Autism

Newsweek ^ | 8 September 2003 | Geoffrey Cowley

[Lorianne]

Girls, Boys and Autism By Geoffrey Cowley, Newsweek

Andrew Bacalao has a good, sharp mind. At 13, he's a decent pianist, a devotee of Frank Lloyd Wright, a master at videogames and jigsaw puzzles. He remembers phone numbers like a Pocket PC, and he can dismantle a radio or a flashlight in the time it takes some people to find the power switch.

[Travis McGee]

AS parent bump.

[ChemistCat]

We were blessed most of the time, in the doctor and EI department. That one doc was an aberration of nature and a freak of coldheartedness.

I see people on FR rant against mainstreaming, and all I can say is it makes me heartsick. They don't understand what these children can give to others, nor that many of them can benefit so much from models of normal (hopefully normal GOOD) behavior. They want to stick all children with a diagnosis in some institution somewhere, anywhere where they don't have to deal with them. Oh, except for the ADHD ones who "shouldn't be drugged"....because they don't BELIEVE in that diagnosis...

Early intervention is what saved my son from being trapped in his own little world without us. Now he's got the best of both worlds!

And he likes MY music. ;-) ELO, Laura Branigan, Kingston Trio, the Carpenters, Al Stewart...etc. etc. ....they all have a new generation of fandom in my house! HOoray!

[gitmo]

Bump to finish later.

[Mfkmmof4]

Could you tell me something about the intervention?????

[Ben Bolt]

Hmm ?

[Mfkmmof4]

Your post is beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. My son was diagnosed with mild mental retardation at about 4 with developmental delays. I then asked the doctor if he could be wrong and he said yes but did not think so.

He is now 12 and while my son has issues his teachers from early on thought and honestly believed retardation was not the issue. School psychologists examined him and came away with his cognitive skills did not match the diagnosis of retardation.

Finally, he was diagnosed with autism but someone still wanted retardation as part of his school coding. I am not in denial about my son but we fought and now he is labeled autistic. This child can cook, drive you nuts, play Nintendo 64 skillfully and mock me constantly :)

[Mfkmmof4]

Mainstreaming is a good idea if it fits the child and class. Not all "disabled" children can be mainstreamed. In the case of my son he probably could not handle it BUT I would support any child being allowed to try.

[Petronski]

I love that story. It gives me hope for a certain now-high-functioning autistic boy I know, son of a good friend. He's starting kindergarten now and intensive therapy has really turned him around.

[ChemistCat]

Most of us moms--the good ones, who don't have our egos too involved in the situation--know whether our children would benefit from mainstreaming or not. And many people do not give other children enough credit. There can be cruelty in mainstreaming, but I have seen MANY acts of loving generosity from other children toward my son. They are kind to him, watch out for him, and have pretty gently taught him how to tolerate being teased. ;-) They've learned some tolerance too. But not too much. They have worked together against his echolalia to the point where it is ALMOST GONE. Speech therapists working together by the dozens could never achieve what peer pressure did! They got tired of hearing about snakes and then Presidents for weeks on end, so THEY put a stop to it! Kids are capable of doing the same thing over and over better than adults can, and so they just kept at their informal behavioral modification till it worked.

And so he has stopped much of his perseverating with their help. Amazing.

I admit I have my kids in a remarkable private school. It makes a huge difference when everybody prays together, I think.

[Mfkmmof4]

You certainly have given me food for thought. Wow!

[cherry]

I had a psychiatrist once tell me about my Asbergers' child (dtr) that there was "nothing" inside her.....

that is the worse statement I have ever heard, other than the kindergarden teacher writing in bold letters on my dtrs' paper "VERY MESSY"....

its a differant life when one of your kids isn't "normal" isn't it?

[Mfkmmof4]

Yes it is ... there are days you feel blessed and what good people we are for loving and taking care of our "different" children and then there are days we wonder why us and then we just go on loving and hoping for the best !

[Johnny Gage]

Thanks for posting this article.

We've got a 13 yr old boy, who has Dyslexia and we think he's got some aspberger symptoms as well.

Very technical minded, but suffers socially.

This thread has been informative and a good laugh to see that there are others out there like us.

[truthkeeper]

Early intervention is what saved my son from being trapped in his own little world without us. Now he's got the best of both worlds!

Amen! Those early diagnoses are especially critical. Unfortunately, many people know or suspect there is a problem but go into denial because they can't bear dealing with it. (As if ignoring it will make it go away.)

Education is always the key. Knowledge is power!

[truthkeeper]

Speech therapists working together by the dozens could never achieve what peer pressure did!

This is soooo true. For some reason, in the past couple of weeks my grandson picked up a new habit (it's always something) of sticking his fingers in his mouth, flicking at his tongue. The only thing that is making him stop it is me reminding him that the kids in kindergarten will think he's a weirdo if they catch him doing it. Boy, does he pull up short and knock it off immediately when he hears this. In fact, he's almost broken the habit entirely.

[Dianna]

The really upsetting thing is that he didn't used to have a problem with the dentist! Last year he needed a tooth pulled (the adult tooth was coming in on top of it) and for some reason with the second novacain shot he freaked out. Now he is terrified.

It was so awful today. When I made the appt. I was very frank about his problems. On the intake sheet today I made certain to tell them (pediatric dentist) that he has Asperger, that he is EXTREMELY!! anxious. I couldn't speak to anyone beforehand since he stuck to me like glue.

The hygenist called him back and gave me a look. "Mom, you can have a seat." I asked her if I could go and I just know she thought I was a wacko, but the other option is putting it on Derrick to ask for me. I insisted upon coming and she made several comments about him being 11 YO and most parents only come in back with their very little kids.

I was sooo upset! She continued to be a little condescending until the dentist came in and the kid was very obviously scared to death. At least she got sympathetic real quick. I'm writing a letter anyway. Her comments were totally uncalled for and if she'd read the damn paper she'd have understood.

The bottom line is that he needs either a root canal with a cap or an extraction. We're consulting with an orthodontist to decide. Poor Derrick is just major freaked out. Tears were running down his face the whole time the dentist explained. He cried in his room for another hour this evening over it.

The dentist said he'd prescribe valium before the procedure (whatever it is we decide). I don't know if they can combine that with any gas if it doesn't work. We haven't had to do this since he was 3 YO and getting 4 fillings at once.

[ChemistCat]

My husband is reading this thread with me now, and this caught our eye--I missed it the first time:

He is hung up on remembering everyone's birthday .. even people I don't know. :)
My son knows everyone's birthday too--and the birthdays of all the Presidents, and of various celebrities like Laura Branigan, Kirsten Dunst, etc, who interest him for one reason or another. (Voice talents for movies he's liked, etc.)

And he makes sure we all know it when it's John Quincy Adams Day.

He made cards for Ronald Reagan's and Nancy Reagan's birthdays.

[truthkeeper]

The dentist said he'd prescribe valium before the procedure (whatever it is we decide). I don't know if they can combine that with any gas if it doesn't work. We haven't had to do this since he was 3 YO and getting 4 fillings at once.

Oh you poor thing, and poor little Derrick. I know exactly what you are going through. Mine needed some major dental work and it was an ordeal just to find the doctor who would even do the work under the anesthetic. But YES, our doctor (a woman BTW, and wonderful with him) scheduled him as a "preop" patient, which meant no food after midnight, liquid valium drink 1 hour before surgery, and nitrous oxide gas during. He came through like a champion.

My God, I was utterly amazed. I never would have believed it!

[truthkeeper]

The dentist said he'd prescribe valium before the procedure (whatever it is we decide). I don't know if they can combine that with any gas if it doesn't work. We haven't had to do this since he was 3 YO and getting 4 fillings at once.

Oh you poor thing, and poor little Derrick. I know exactly what you are going through. Mine needed some major dental work and it was an ordeal just to find the doctor who would even do the work under the anesthetic. But YES, our doctor (a woman BTW, and wonderful with him) scheduled him as a "preop" patient, which meant no food after midnight, liquid valium drink 1 hour before surgery, and nitrous oxide gas during. He came through like a champion.

My God, I was utterly amazed. I never would have believed it!

[RepubMommy]

One thing I did hear on tv that really broke my heart was he definition of autism. It is like someone came in during the night and stole your child's once working body. I cried buckets over that statement.

It's not true of all cases though. My 22 month old was evaluated at 15 months due to her lack of speech, and at 18 months, rec'd the dx. We immedately ( wwell okay, the governmental Early Intervention does NOT work immediately) got her help, she has not yet lost any skills and has 65 purposeful words and phrases to date. I'm pretty convinced she is on the higher end of the spectrum. I did not have that "someone stole her in the night" feeling as I knew she was delayed early on AND she is not fully vaccinated (just wanted to add that into the vaccine part of this discussion). I feel for those parents that felt they "lost" their kids though.