Posted on 08/29/2003 7:12:12 PM PDT by gitmo
Over the past couple of weeks, I've written twice (first here, then here) about my ongoing frustrations with Microsoft Windows.
What have I learned in the process of writing these columns? Among other things, I've learned that the word "hell" included in an e-mail subject line will make it through most people's spam filters. ("Sex" won't, which is one reason we don't write about it much on AnchorDesk; I'll definitely have to can those Viagra columns.)
MORE IMPORTANTLY, I've learned that I'm not alone in my personal Windows hell. You've shared your own tales of woe in TalkBack, and AnchorDesk reader Susan Bradley offered me some valuable, advanced troubleshooting advice. I've also discovered that some people consider Windows to be the work of the devil--literally.
I'm not going quite that far, though I've often considered the possibility that my PC had been taken over by some malevolent spirit intent on driving me nuts. Turns out I'm not the only one who considers his computer's spiritual life.
As evidence, I'd like to quote from a recent article in Popular Science, one of my favorite magazines, which in turn quotes from newWitch magazine (slogan: "Not your mother's broomstick").
Herewith newWitch's Wiccan words of wisdom to its computer-using readers, along with my commentary on same:
"Because the physical hard drive is a conduit for a unique type of energy, it is possible for nature spirits (called vaettir) to take up residence within it."
"Do not curse, yell, smack, or otherwise vent your anger on your computer. Most vaettir are extremely sensitive to emotions."In the future, I promise to leave the room when the computer drives me over the line, lest I hurt its sensitive feelings--or its metal case.
"Emotions are energy, and mixing incompatible energy fields can have bad results: culminating in the dreaded 'blue screen of death.'"
Gee, and to think all these years I thought it had something to do with a memory overflow.
"Do what you can to make the computer feel welcome in your home. This includes talking to it, naming it, and even offering words of encouragement."Aha! The real reason why Macs suffer fewer problems than PCs! Mac users do these sorts of things all the time, and their computers apparently benefit from it. Effective immediately, I will rename all my computers, from their current, clinical monikers--Old HP, Media Center, etc.--to something warmer.
"Put unusual and pretty things by your computer for the vaettir's enjoyment. Pretty stones, crystals, feathers, intriguing pictures help create a positive environment."Again, more evidence of why Mac users have fewer problems than us PC types. Remember: Mac users are creative.
"TURN THE COMPUTER OFF COMPLETELY WHEN YOU ARE WORKING MAGIC. I cannot emphasize that enough. I've had friends who have had their computers completely crash due to simple energy overload when they inadvertently left them on while doing spellwork."I've never done spellwork, but given how many times my computers have crashed, perhaps it was a simple energy overload caused by the sheer force of my personality that did it.
PS - If you see me spending more time on FR after the next management meeting please forward my resume off to others...
LOL! I am a UNIX system administrator and, until we got new management who had no sense of humor, used to keep some dried chicken bones, a voodoo doll, and a clove of garlic on top of the server rack at work. Seemed to do the trick.
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FREE PC PROTECTION (not an exhaustive list):
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Common Unix guru practice involves the waving of dead chickens.
As well, concerning magic, you need to be careful when dealing with new system and peripheral boards, lest you let out the "magic smoke" which indicates that the device will not work any more.
Best practices for Microsoft products seem to involve the human sacrifice of one of MSFT's competitors. In a pinch, any old DOJ lawyer will do.
Oh, I call my system names all right when the drivers don't work - none suitable to repeat in a family Free Republic.
Great one :-)
No. not really.
Except for the /etc/sendmail.cf incantation ...
... and the goat's blood for SCSI drives.
hahaha..hehehe...that is scary. :)
They are GREATLY appreciated! I have heard of the names of several of them, but didn't know what each did to protect a computer.
I have had TONS and TONS of attacks. I have been keeping a list of each time my computer is attacked (or an attempt is made) and now have a list of about THIRTY-FIVE PAGES OF NOTEBOOK PAPER OF ATTEMPTED ATTACKS (and some successful)!!! I have been using Spybot Search and Destroy for a while now and LOVE it! In fact, I just sent they guy a $25 donation a few days ago.
(For those who didn't get them earlier, here they are again. I have included actual URLS here because I don't know how to link)
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Spyware removers:
Spybot S&D
http://spybot.eon.net.au/index.php?lang=en&page=download
AdAware
http://www.lavasoftusa.com/
Bayden Systems Popup Popper: Blocks popup ads well in MSIE
http://www.bayden.com/popper/
MailWasher: Good for pre-screening & bouncing SPAM
http://mailwasher.net/
AVG Anti-Virus Free Edition: Free anti-viral protection
http://www.grisoft.com/us/us_dwnl_free.php
Windows Update: At least install the critical ones
http://v4.windowsupdate.microsoft.com/en/default.asp
ZoneAlarm: Excellent Firewall
http://www.zonelabs.com/store/content/home.jsp
Test your firewall from without with ShieldsUP!
http://grc.com/default.htm
Test your firewall from within with LeakTest
http://grc.com/lt/leaktest.htm
Alternative browsers:
Mozilla
http://www.mozilla.org/
Opera
http://www.opera.com/
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