Have I told you lately that I love you.. ;)

A Dad, Chef, Freeper ^ | 08/29/03 | Carlo3b, a FReeper lover.

[Conservababe]

Tis good to say I love you anytime. But there should be no grief about not saying it or even of having harsh words if death should prevent other words later.

I once had a trauma patient in ER from an auto accident. We could not save him.

After gathering my used equipment and leaving the ER, I saw and heard the wife in the waiting room, after she had been told of her husband's death.

Pastoral Care minister was with her.

For some reason, I walked very slowly, as I heard her cry and him talk. She was extremely distraught that she had refused to kiss him goodbye that morning as he left for work, having had a rare quarrel the night before.

I will never forget this minister's words.

"The sum total of your happiness with your husband cannot be defined by words or action of unpleasantness, even if the last words. I can tell you loved your husband deeply and he loved you. Do not grieve for your actions, because he will forgive you and you must forgive yourself. You were just caught in life being your human self."

I think of this often when I hear of a sudden death.

[mdittmar]

Rod Stewart? Blah!;)

[Quix]

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS how much I Loved your post.

Haven't heard from a most treasured Godson for 3 years.

Have made a habit of telling and showing everyone of any significance at all in my life of my love and caring for them in as many ways and times as I could remotely get away with.

Even students and clerks I see often feel fairly intense caring flowing through me to them.

And I have long felt that research is abundantly correct--ONE of the reasons we have so much rampant homosexuality is that fathers fail to give their sons sufficient healthy AFFECTION. China was wonderfully different, thankfully. Our culture seems to have robbed Taiwan of that quality that was so evident 35 years ago.

I hope you hug and kiss your son liberally in all kinds of contexts and settings. The Love you've shown him to this point has no doubt sunk in and will more the more he's absent from it. I hope he gets hugged long and hard and kissed on at least two sides of his, no doubt loveable, head.

MORE POWER TO YOU. God's best Love in all your close relationships.

Thanks for the encouragement.

This radical Lover here intends to go right on doing my more or less best to Love in Jesus' Name.

Embarrassment comes and goes. The convictions about the Caring lingers long.

[Quix]

ABSOLUTELY FOR SURE!

[rockfish59]

Well, it was hard for either of us to visit because of money.
I couldn't make his service either.

[sonsofliberty2000]

who loves ya, baby??

Patriot Paradox

[Quix]

OUCH!

You might consider writing him a letter. Perhaps taking it to his grave site and burning it or burning it on a high mountain you may have hiked together to.

I suspect he'll receive the message from just your writing it.

[harpo11]

Your words make my heart sing!!!
It is indeed very good to have people to love and love you back.
Family, Friends, Freepers, Freedom.

[Quix]

Things can be complicated for guys, for sure.

But in my experience, if we are authentic in our Loving--and bold enough to be real and ourselves in any context--anyone that matters will understand and end up loving it--if jealously.

Those who don't understand don't matter.

[Quix]

Has been since High School for me--1962-1965--too short to miss expressing Love at every opportunity--

AND

at every opportunity I can, by God's Grace, help create.

[deadhead]

"Haven't heard from a most treasured Godson for 3 years."

Give him a call, Quix. You'll be happy you did.

[Quix]

Blessed to read of it.

The millions of western Christians missing out on the command to "greet one another with a HOLY kiss" are . . .

wellllll . . . .

REALLY MISSING OUT!

[Conservababe]

Women treat family and friendships as fragile vases and they break easily.

Men treat the same as a football and it almost always survives.

[Exit148]

Carlo -- I will never hear or think of that lovely song again -- without having you and your message in mind. Simple words you exchanged with your son, but soooo powerful.

I also am blessed in that my grown children always add a "I love you, Mom" when we leave, either physically or on the phone. It is a small thing, but it reaches deep inside.

[Quix]

Long live Dr Hug. Enjoy his stuff.

I do wish he'd get his theology more squared away and hooked up intensely hugging God Almighty more than even other humans.

[IronJack]

I miss my son every time I have to say goodbye. Thanks for the reminder, Carlos. Your son has a great dad.

[Exit148]

My heart aches for you, blam. I hope the comments here help ease your pain a little. I will say a little prayer for you and your brother, tonight.

[risk]

I buried my younger brother yesterday.

And I helped my 79 year-old father say goodbye to his younger brother not too long ago. There's not much to say that can help, except to have people around who understand why it matters.

Take care, blam. We know you from your profile and your comments. Your brother had a great role model and must have been a super human being.

[Quix]

A 'prophet' sort and a pastor I'd helped tons convinced him to stay in California and break off all contact with me.

God has assured me directly and through a variety of others who hear Him well that HE WILL RESTORE AND ADVANCE the relationship as HE promised HE WOULD in the beginning.

There's no capacity for me to reach him short of detective work. I have felt led to trust God and put it in His hands. His timing has to be perfect being His timing regardless of my human heart's feelings. There are so many things I don't understand--one of the worst refiner's fires of my life. But God knows and has promised to bring great good out of it. So, will see.

The prophet type used to sort of brag how every church he'd ever been in either split apart or ceased to exist because of him. And now he has a collection of 8-12 Taiwan Chinese and Westerners at his feet along with the now former pastor.

God knows what's of Him and what isn't. He alone can sort it all out.

But the grief has been palpable. The helplessness enormous. As you might guess, when God brings someone along and says to Love them wholeheartedly as unto The Lord, He tends to enable me to do that in spades. Then to have that part of one's heart jerked out by people one has sacrificially helped THEMSELVES . . . has not been easy to put it mildly.

But forgiveness is essential and I confess it daily over all of them and ask God to bless each of them with God's highest in fitting ways and at fitting times. I know they all have thought they were doing the right thing.

Thankfully, God knows the truth and certainly my heart.

Thanks tons for your caring and advice. Normally I don't go to sleep at night until I've done everything remotely doable and remotely wise to heal a relationship of even a minor glitch--not to mention more so for a major glitch. I think that's the BIBLICAL STANDARD AND COMMAND.

Alas, few others in my life have treated me similarly.

But God knows. Somehow, somewhere, somewhen--HE WILL REPAY ACCORDING TO HIS RICHES IN GLORY.

This is bootcamp. I just wish some of the tuition/training were not so costly. I can wrap my mind around the payoff being in eternity . . . but sometimes my humanness would like to see more payoff in the here and now.

Nevertheless, blessed be the Name of The Lord.

He is altogether Good. He is Good all the time. And All the time He is Good--whether my screaming humanness wants to agree all the time or not.

Bless you.

[Quix]

Too many men let satan infect, inject too much pride and too many fears into the demonstration of caring between men.

The vigorous caring described in The Bible such as between Christ and John The Beloved and others . . . has been wholesale neutered out of western men's lives. . . . with hardly a whimper on most parts.