These are our rules girls. Deal With it!!

Unknown | 8-28-03 | Man's Mind

[WKB]

Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports.
It's like the full moon, PMS or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is considered blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[Neets]

*wink*
*wink*

[wardaddy]

13" long

4.5" in diameter




(and that's only one foot!)

[Quix]

How beautiful are the feet of those who spread Good News the Scriptures say.

Have found it so.

Besides, where there is Love, beauty is easy to find.

Understand about giving more backrubs than received. Story of my life.

Thankfully it really *IS* true, IT IS MORE BLESSED TO GIVE THAN RECEIVE.

Still, to receive on occasion is certainly a pleasure.

Lots of men are locked into ruts of thinking and habit that are very difficult to get them out of in terms of relationships and intimacy--or running from the intimacy they crave.

[agrace]

BWAHA, that's funny, because after I howled at your last post and couldn't think of anything at all to say in response, out of sheer desperation I googled "dumb men jokes." I tried to pick the very best ones. Or at least ones you might have a chance of understanding, cacklecackle.

So technically YOU win. Have a great day and thanks for making me laugh this morning. You cheered me up from being depressed on account of being so FAT. ;)

[Quix]

You sound like quite a pair!

Congratulations!

[Quix]

Duplicitous oaf!

[Quix]

perhaps so . . . before someone shoves you in a vat of jello.

[Quix]

Plausible.

[Quix]

Sounds reasonable to me.

[Neets]

HA!!!!

[Quilla]

ROFL!

[weegee]

Man, that is so true. Especially #1.

[honeygrl]

Yep, my hubby was 31 when we married and I was 19 so he isn't going to change (nor did I expect him to really) but I've changed a lot, which I think he did expect. Works out fine though overall. The only things either of us really complain about are nitpicky little things which don't really matter much to either of us. Most of our nitpicking is joking anyway. We'll both complain about things we don't really expect will change and don't really care that much about. The backrub thing is a good example. I'd love more backrubs, but if I never get another one it isn't going to bother me enough to fight over.

[agrace]

And I thought MY husband was great til I read about your husband. Do you live in Stepford? ;) Seriously, may God continue to bless your marriage as He has blessed mine, we are truly best friends and that's the most important thing.

[yoda swings]

5'10" 130 lbs.

Pfffffft!

[uglybiker]

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

[najida]

More like a Cluster F***

Well, Think with the waffle means >:->

[najida]

True enough.

Men think "A causes B causes C. Therefore, if I do A, there is a high probability C will occur."

Women think "A causes B causes C. Therefore, I don't like the couch here anymore, and I want chocolate."
________

Hmmm,
More like
A causes B, and B is related to M, but if M doesn't get changed, then H won't happen and X will fall apart, and when X falls apart G expands and completely wipes out A.

So I need to buy a second A.

[in the Arena]

Hey, I'm not fat!

Well, that's one sure way to get everyone to look at your profile... :O)

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[Phantom Lord]

Well, Think with the waffle means >:->

As soon as you get your noodles untangled.