Naked Man Jumps off Caloosahatchee Bridge

Fort Myers News Press via "Sound Off" ^ | 08-18-03- | Fort Myers News Press

[AAABEST]

REPORTED BRIDGE JUMPER: A naked man reportedly jumped from Interstate 75 into the Caloosahatchee River on Saturday night, but so far authorities have found only a pile of clothes, the Florida Highway Patrol reported.

At 10:49 p.m. Saturday, an unknown caller advised authorities a man had jumped off the southbound span of I-75 into the river, Trooper Jeffrey Benoit said.

A search failed to find the man Saturday night, but troopers discovered a pile of discarded clothes near where the man reportedly jumped. They found black combat boots, a green T-shirt, light blue jean shorts, white socks, underwear and black sunglasses, Benoit said.

Anyone with information is asked to call the Florida Highway Patrol at 278-7100.

[AAABEST]

Damn!

[Spok]

Would this be news if he were clothed?

[xsmommy]

Okay,joe, the cat's outta the bag now..just fess up...

[Sir Gawain]

Are you ok?

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Boxers or briefs?

[Dog Gone]

Skinny dipping is a time-honored tradition.

[cmsgop]

Hold Muh.......Never Mind....

[AAABEST]

Local FReeper ping.

[Cyber Liberty]

Ode To Billie Joe

( Bobbie Gentry )

It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day
I was out choppin' cotton and my brother was balin' hay
And at dinner time we stopped and walked back to the house to eat
And Mama hollered out the back door "y'all remember to wipe your feet"
And then she said "I got some news this mornin' from Choctaw Ridge"
"Today Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge"

And Papa said to Mama as he passed around the blackeyed peas
"Well, Billy Joe never had a lick of sense, pass the biscuits, please"
"There's five more acres in the lower forty I've got to plow"
And Mama said it was shame about Billy Joe, anyhow
Seems like nothin' ever comes to no good up on Choctaw Ridge
And now Billy Joe MacAllister's jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge

And Brother said he recollected when he and Tom and Billie Joe
Put a frog down my back at the Carroll County picture show
And wasn't I talkin' to him after church last Sunday night?
"I'll have another piece of apple pie, you know it don't seem right"
"I saw him at the sawmill yesterday on Choctaw Ridge"
"And now you tell me Billie Joe's jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge"

And Mama said to me "Child, what's happened to your appetite?"
"I've been cookin' all morning and you haven't touched a single bite"
"That nice young preacher, Brother Taylor, dropped by today"
"Said he'd be pleased to have dinner on Sunday, oh, by the way"
"He said he saw a girl that looked a lot like you up on Choctaw Ridge"
"And she and Billy Joe was throwing somethin' off the Tallahatchie Bridge"

A year has come 'n' gone since we heard the news 'bout Billy Joe
And Brother married Becky Thompson, they bought a store in Tupelo
There was a virus going 'round, Papa caught it and he died last Spring
And now Mama doesn't seem to wanna do much of anything
And me, I spend a lot of time pickin' flowers up on Choctaw Ridge

And drop them into the muddy water off the Tallahatchie Bridge

[Cultural Jihad]

Caloosahatchee Bridge

[ChemistCat]

Can't be many places in Florida where a jumper can make a good job of it.

Blessings to his family.

[MonroeDNA]

Paging Willie Green.

That stupid stock market.

[shaggy eel]

,,, does this mean Billy-Jo McAllister isn't special anymore?

[AAABEST]

That's it! Good find there.

[Old Sarge]

Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of...

THE ADVENTURES OF NAKED MAN!!!

[ChewedGum]

ADVENTURES OF NAKED MAN!!!

Sarge, you kill me! I'm picturing people finding these little piles of clothing & combat boots near bridges all over the country.

Gum

[Ramius]

I'l say one thing for y'all in Florida... ya' got fun names for places. Maybe even wackier than us up here in Washington.

[Slip18]

You're on a naked thread? LOL!

[xsmommy]

so are you! are we surprised?? ; )