[cake_crumb]

Then there's the classic answer for people who call to sell newspaper subscriptions to some rag you hate:

"When I want to read what your rag has to say, I send my dog steal my neighbor's paper."

[steve-b]

Some telepest tried to sell me a subscription to the New York Times. I told him that I was kind of busy lately, but as soon as I had the free time for historical fiction I'd get back to him.