Where is My Agora?

Israel National News ^ | Jul. 31, '03 / 2 Av 5763 | Yaakov Kessler

[yonif]

Having been brought up in the US, I am quite aware of various idiomatic expressions regarding pennies and other small denominations of pocket change. Everyone remembers "Oh, he/she is always puttin’ her two cents in", or the every popular, "penny for your thoughts."

Not much value in a penny these days.

It was, however, much to my chagrin that I had a shopping "incident" that disturbed me, while simultaneously broadening my analytical horizon.

I purchased a bottle of mouthwash at a local pharmacy (can't go to a meeting without smelling "minty fresh"). The bottle of colored liquid was marked “25.99 NIS” - read that as twenty five shekels and ninety nine agorot. When I handed my purchase to the cashier, she advised me that my purchase total was twenty six shekels.

"Where did the other one agora come from?" I respectfully asked.

The clerk smiled and shrugged. She advised me that there is no longer an agora piece in circulation; therefore, the prices are rounded up. Having made aliyah in 1995, I had indeed noticed that the old, funny-looking aluminum agora pieces were no longer used. It really did not hit home until this purchase.

A kindly gentleman in the store cheerfully advised me that were I to purchase five of the same item, my true total would then be 129 shekels and 95 agorot; thus, netting me back the full five agorot that I am due (apparently the five agora piece is still available).

My objection to "losing the agora" is simple. If the product is indeed 26 NIS then that is what should be written on the product. If the goal is to get me to purchase five items, then it should be duly noted on a sign. If not, and the product is indeed marked “X.99 NIS”, then I am entitled to my change! Indeed, I am sure that transactions of this nature occur each and every day, resulting in a net sales gain to someone of tens of thousands of shekels needlessly taken out consumers’ hands.

It is, however, the truth in advertising aspect that really gets my goat (where did that idiomatic expression come from anyway?). And, in that, I must thank the pharmacy owner. I can now understand better the various peace processes being thrown in our faces.

"Road Map for Peace"? Well, that’s a 25.99 product that you have to pay 26 NIS for. What’s that, you say? You did not buy this Peace Product with "prisoner returns"? Well, that's just too bad. We have no change; we don’t make Peace Processes without Prisoner Returns. Oh, it doesn't stipulate that? That’s true, but surely you knew that we can’t make "change". Prisoner Returns are part and parcel of the Road Map.

And, by the way, we have no change for security fences either. Yes, it’s not marked on the product you bought. Call it a “new knowledge tax”; sort of like the arnona tax that the municipalities are charging to residents mid-year. Don’t like it? Too bad.

Hudna? Yes, yes, we know that attacks are continuing, but its marked as a Hudna on the shelf. "Zeh Mah Sheyesh - this is what there is." Surely you did not expect change!

Well, yes, I do want change. I want my agora. If it’s marked 25.99 then someone better find a way to give me my agora. If the Road Map does not say anything about prisoner releases, then I don’t want to pay that either. And if I paid my arnona for this year, I don’t think I should be paying a surprise tax (sort of like the Hebrew Monopoly Game).

So gimme back my agora.

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Yaakov Kessler is a Jerusalem-based businessman, who made aliyah in 1995 with his family. You can send him his agorot via e-mail (yaakov@i-deas.co.il).

[yonif]

"Road Map for Peace"? Well, that’s a 25.99 product that you have to pay 26 NIS for. What’s that, you say? You did not buy this Peace Product with "prisoner returns"? Well, that's just too bad. We have no change; we don’t make Peace Processes without Prisoner Returns. Oh, it doesn't stipulate that? That’s true, but surely you knew that we can’t make "change". Prisoner Returns are part and parcel of the Road Map.

[kevkrom]

Andy Rooney had a similar story/editorial on 60 Minutes about 15-20 years ago where he bught a single gallon of gasoline (usually priced XX.9 cents) and argued with station owners about the 1/10 cent...

[AppyPappy]

Well, that stereotype has been proven true

[Only1choice____Freedom]

Maybe they are suffering from Agoraphobia - fear of crowds.

Or in this case, fear of change.

[dead]

An agora here, an agora there, pretty soon you're talking sheckles.

[ClearCase_guy]

Steve Martin joke: "So, I was fixing the sprocket flange on the Heidigger sprinkler, and I asked my assistant for the Findley socket wrench and he says, "It's a sprocket, not a socket!"

Crickets chirping.

"Oh, this isn't the plumber's convention?"

[lilylangtree]

Personally, I like pennies. "See a penny. Pick it up. All day long you have good luck." I feel good when I find a penny, even better when the penny is face up. Suppose to be lucky. I've been known to crawl on my belly under two cars picking up pennies that some college students felt the need to scatter the evening before. I've taken a pocket knife and dug pennies out of roadwork. To me pennies make dollars and my piggybank of a large Tootsie Roll is almost full.

[VeritatisSplendor]

But Rooney was just being an idiot. Gasoline is LIQUID, it does not come in discrete units. If gas was 99.9 cents per gallon and he bought "one gallon", he was actually getting 1.001 gallons for his dollar, because the gas pump attendants always stop when the DOLLARS counter reaches a round number, not when the GALLONS counter reaches a round number.

[solitas]

Ouch. (heee!)