Daschle will post diary on his Senate Web site

argusleader.com ^ | 7/31/03 | Mike Madden

[RetiredArmy]

In the words of Randy Newman:

"Short people got nasty little shoes on their nasty little feet . . . don't want no short people, don't want no short people, don't want no short people round here . . ."

AND BEFORE YOU SHORT PEOPLE BLAST ME - - My humble apologies to short people.

[smokeyb]

August 1 - Viagra not working. Must call Barney Frank to see if he has any tips.

Tips ? Well, I better rephrase that.

August 26 - Bought new lift shoes. Hope no one notices the 4" heals.

I am sure Barney will !

[smokeyb]

AND BEFORE YOU SHORT PEOPLE BLAST ME - - My humble apologies to short people.

Let's be politically correct. They are vertically challenged !

[TheGrimReaper]

Eerily reminiscent of the Hildebeast's "listening tour", isn't it?

[xsmommy]

you just caused a wave of nausea to come over me....

[Only1choice____Freedom]

July 27th - It's true I guess. Uday and Qusay are really dead. It's the most terrible thing this month that could happen to our cause. I just hope some other terrorist attack happens before the election or I'm toast. I hear rumors that our plan with the indians Native Americans might be in some trouble. I really don't want to shell out any more bail money. I visited the strip club where many of my voters live and found only leather boys. Oh well, I guess you'll have to go with what you got (story of my life.) I just hope the bruises heal before my wife gets home.

July 31st - Da*ned economy, why doesn't it just tank like we planned. If something bad doesn't happen to America soon we may not be around next year to discuss it. Maybe we can get some taxes raised (for the U.S. only not my "friends" here in good old Dakota of course.)

August 1 - Viagra is still not working, took a double dose today but then Hillary came on TV. I had trouble just finding it. On the other hand, the check from France came in today. Maybe I can call Al buddy and get his contact for Mr Morden. Those guys really give me the creeps but I could really use their money. Any price is worth it. If I lose my seat, Pelosi will have my heads. On the other hand, that could be fun.

[Only1choice____Freedom]

Mr. Morden for those who are not Babylon 5 fans is an agent for "the Shadows."

From babylon 5:

Vir: I want to live just long enough to be there when they cut your head off and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next 10 generations that some favours come at too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?

[LanPB01]

Dear Diary:

Today was the coolest! I got to meet John Kerry, Joe Lieberman, and Hillary Clinton at a Democratic fundraiser. Ms. Clinton was even nice enough to give me an autographed copy of her book, after I made a $50 donation to her re-election campaign (seems like the Clintons are always asking for money; I wonder where it all goes?).

Later in the evening, I was watching Fox News channel, and saw more of those icky pictures of George Bush in a flight suit. Honestly, what does he have that I don't?

Tomorrow, I plan to head out to California to meet with Dianne Feinstein. Oh diary, what do I have to do to get her to notice me? I keep sending chocolate and flowers, to her office, but she still doesn't return my calls!

Little Tommy

[Marysecretary]

Hmm, travels with Tiny Tim ought to be a real winner...NOT.

[Marysecretary]

That's funny. Thanks!

[billhilly]

His advisor on this project will no doubt be Senator Bob Graham.

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

LOL. Sounds about right. But Dass-hole won't even be writing his own diary. It will be some PC clown.

August 1: My secretary broke a nail. I felt so bad for her, I told her to take the rest of the day off and handed her ballet tickets. Then a homeless man came to pay a visit. One of my staffers, who I will not name, tried to turn him away, but I insisted on seeing him. The poor man hadn't had access to a shower for months. He looked to be African American / Chinese, and he told me he was gay and a member of the Tree Sitters. He had recently been beaten by someone who looks surprisingly like William F. Buckley. I told the man to forgive him and gave him my ham sandwitch. I went hungry until that evening....

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

Senator Bob Graham of Floriduh can do the spell check.