DRUDGE: CNBC MONEY HONEY BARTIROMO UNDER FIRE FOR STOCK HOLDINGS...

Drudge Report ^ | 07/27/03 | Matt Drudge

[Mr.Clark]

She's too pretty to be guilty. That is my learned opinion.

[nwrep]

There goes Drudge with his Sunday bulls*it.

[oceanview]

fine, let her serve her sentence at the moonlight bunny ranch.

[Petronski]

If Drudge were a weathercaster or meteorologist, all the tornadoes would come on Sunday.

[MarkT]

If she is guilty, I will host her house arrest.

[ABG(anybody but Gore)]

Can those of us who've never seen her have a picture so as to be able to judge whether or not the accusations are valid? ;^)

[Sir Gawain]

Is this her?

[DallasJ7]

[LibWhacker]

Maria Bartiromo Stock
Market Hairdex

Maria Hair Status	Market Analysis
	Maria's cowlicks are usually under control, but watch for pending market action as her hair mousse starts to evaporate and the market readies for action. Smart traders know that this means stay tuned and pay close attention to upcoming statistics and, of course, Maria's hair.
	When Maria's cowlicks go completely out of control, this means that something big is in the offing and it is going to be good news for the market. It might be a big merger, higher jobless claims or a drop in the prime rate, but certain follicles are especially sensitive to changes in the air. After a recent SEC complaint, Maria agreed to pay closer attention to her telltale follicles, so keep a close watch and when she looks ready to press the silent alarm to summon her stylist, get on the phone to your broker and BUY, BUY, BUY!
	When the cowlicks start branching out from the center, this is the time for a rally in specialty stocks. Pay close attention to the NASDAQ and take another look at those small cap issues you passed on the other day. It is time to diversify. While cowlick rampage might not bode ill for the Dow, it offers a golden opportunity for the small cap investor.
	Pay attention to the curvature of those cowlicks. When they flip curvature, it is time to scramble back for cover under the big market indices. You won't be the only one backing away from small caps when Maria's hair and the Dow Jones averages are going through the roof.
	When Maria's cowlicks start going negative it is time to check your portfolio and move out of your softer, more speculative holdings. A downturn is pending, but savvy investors can find safe harbor. Remember, Maria's hair doesn't just follow the obvious trends; it can integrate low level market transients to warn of upcoming downturns. Consider getting a new, perkier hair style (like Maria's) and selling short for both psychic and monetary returns.
	When Maria's hair gives you this "what, are you still holding equities?" look it is time you liquidated your position and checked in with your stylist. Is it the end of the world? No way! Not with this market, but you might consider battening the hatches and bracing for a serious market correction.

[hole_n_one]

[Uncle Hal]

Maybe Maria can share a cell with Martha. Maria can give Martha stock tips for hot stocks. In return Martha can decorate the cell. Sounds like a perfect combination.

[InvisibleChurch]

they shouldn't pick on girls

[Senator Pardek]

Ya gotta love a woman whose facial expressions exhibit the gamut of sexual ectasy while watching a real-time stock ticker...

[Xenalyte]

She isn't nearly as hot as she's alleged to be. They film her with a VERY long lens. Trust me.

[Senator Pardek]

Im all fairness, she's quite an attractive woman - but she was dubbed "The Money Honey" by a bunch of balding, fat, middle-aged Wall Streeters.

She's merely a fantasy trophy wife, who's able to discuss trade deficits and capital gains tax cuts while fooling around - their perfect woman.

[Skip Ripley]

Her CNBC colleague Liz Claman is the real money honey

[headsonpikes]

Absolutely!!!

'Say it ain't so, Maria!'

I'll believe you.

[jra]

WHAT???

You should stick to fantasy role-play.

Studio cams are all basically identical.

After all, a 'long' lens has a very shallow depth of field and in addition to being impossible to use for a tv studio, it wouldn't be flattering to human subjects at short range.

Face it, she's a cutie.