[Kahonek]

"Men love...Boys have fantasies."

Just curious -- are you saying that boys are incapable of love? It seems to me that the capacity for love predates the capacity for sexual attraction.

"romantic and sexual attraction are not joined together in the teen stage"

I would agree that the sexual often outstrips the romantic in teens, but I do think that many teens (both boys and girls) have very strong romantic attractions. These are virtually always directed toward the same target gender as their sexual attractions.

"Healthy men love both men and women, but control their sexual urges."

Agreed. However, they love men and women not only for different reasons, but also in qualitatively different ways. Their romantic and sexual attractions are almost always directed toward a single gender (most often toward women). Your message makes it sound like they're lusting after everybody and it's only by controlling their urges to have sex with one gender that they develop a sexual orientation. Most people (especially men) have very little doubt about which way they're oriented, and they don't have any attraction in the other direction.

[ArGee]

Agreed. However, they love men and women not only for different reasons, but also in qualitatively different ways.

True men love lots of men and women, for lots of unique reasons. But true men only have sex with their wives. They control their libidos.

No, there is nothing qualitatively different in the way I love my women friends and the way I love my men friends. There is a difference in the union I have with my wife, because of and as a part of my sexual relationship with only her.

And I am saying that boys are incapable of true love. It takes a man to get out of the selfish, "I love what you do for me" phase.

Shalom.