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Of course, you're right--there's no solution to any of earth's sorrows and frustrations except the return of the real King. But in the meantime, what you wrote about your church's circumstances and the people in it sheds a little light on why there are such tempestuous marriages among the Body, and why you got emotionally cooked in your years there. It seems logical that people with such a rough background might not choose or be accepted by sweet, meek virginal little suburban angel-girls. Any woman who would contemplate marrying some of the guys you describe as part of your congregation are probably pretty tough cookies before the marriage and might have been around the block a few times. When the marriage runs into bumps, they are not going to deal with the situation in a spirit of calm, forbearing, pacific enlightenment.

I think you have to admit that your church is a little unusual. It's my hope that the average Christian guy who goes to a large church with a submitted spirit and persistent prayer is going to find a worthy mate, sooner or later--if, that is, it's the Lord's will.

And really, guys, what're the alternatives?

1. You can be single, lonely, frustrated, and horny for the rest of your cold sterile life.

2. You can form temporary liaisons with women and bonk them, risking sorrow, disease, and pregnancy in the process.

3. You can find someone in the greater population outside of church and marry her, knowing that since she doesn't believe in a particular firm set of principles, the chances that she will stand fast beside you in time of trial are even more remote than if you found someone whose hope and belief are centered firmly on Christ.

None of these seem to me to be attractive alternatives to finding a worthy Christian spouse. But that's just me. I'm old-fashioned.

It seems logical that people with such a rough background might not choose or be accepted by sweet, meek virginal little suburban angel-girls.

You'd be surprised. I often wondered how a two-time loser with more tattoos than the illustrated man could end up with the head cheerleader. But it was more the rule than the exception.

Any woman who would contemplate marrying some of the guys you describe as part of your congregation are probably pretty tough cookies before the marriage and might have been around the block a few times.

See my comment above. Before I witnessed this phenomenon, I was inclined to dismiss out of hand the notion that women like bad guys, that they like to be abused, that somehow it's a turn-on for them. After my years as a lay counselor, I'm not nearly so dismissive of this as before.

I think you have to admit that your church is a little unusual.

We have all ethnic, religious, social and professional backgrounds in our congregation. Anyone visiting our church would believe in the melting pot again. And wasn't it Jesus who said "Those are are not sick have no need for a physician."?

It's my hope that the average Christian guy who goes to a large church with a submitted spirit and persistent prayer is going to find a worthy mate, sooner or later--if, that is, it's the Lord's will.

And here I thought the Cross was the great equalizer, the practical answer to multiculturalism. Unfortunately this notion that some Christians are more typical than others is the new hot trend in the 21st century church. It might explain a lot of the turmoil I saw in the troubled marriages that came my way.

Of course, I never saw the successful ones, so what do I know.