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Whitewater Stock
(To the Elvis Presley tune Jailhouse Rock)

The taxpayers threw a party as I was hauled to jail.
The welfare queens were there and they began to wail.
The voters were ecstatic and the country began to swing.
You should've heard those knocked up interns sing.
What a shock, everybody, what a shock.
Everybody in the whole cell block was once a dealer in Whitewater stock.

Me and Gore hit up China for a campaign loan,
While Lewinsky was blowin' on my slide trombone.
Craig Livingstone said let's lie, rape, rob,
My whole administration was the Dixie Mob.
What a shock, everybody, What a shock.
Everybody in the whole cell block was once a dealer in Whitewater stock.

As I once said to Chelsea and Hillary:
"What's the harm in a little infidelity.
As a Democrat, laws and morality are not supposed to apply to me,
Don't be like Tripp, you're Democrats, you're supposed commit perjury."
Not a shock, everybody, not a shock.
Everybody in the whole cell block was once a dealer in Whitewater stock.

Now I'm in my cell seekin' satisfaction all alone,
Dreaming of an intern licking an ice cream cone
The warden said, "Hey, buddy, I got a teen daughter, you think I care?
Go take a whizz on the electric chair."
Got a shock, everybody, got a shock.
Everybody in the whole cell block was once a dealer in Whitewater stock.

My cellmate said "Doing time is a piece of cake, 
no one's lookin', now's our chance to make a break."
I turned to my cellmate and said, "Nix nix,
without Hillary, now it's safe to write to chicks"
Not a shock, everybody, Not a shock.
Everybody in the whole cell block was once a dealer in Whitewater stock.