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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time:
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Posted on 07/16/2003 7:57:08 AM PDT by M. Peach
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse is taking his/her sweet time:
1. Pick up condom packages randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?
8. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible'
10. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
11. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say 'PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!!'
12. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream 'NO! It's those voices again'.
and last but not least,
13. Go into a fitting room and yell real LOUD 'We're out of toilet paper in here!
Now....let's go shopping!!
TOPICS: Announcements; Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: humorwalmart
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A little levity to break up the day...
1
posted on
07/16/2003 7:57:09 AM PDT
by
M. Peach
To: M. Peach
I love it... thanks sooooooo much for brightening up my day
2
posted on
07/16/2003 7:58:43 AM PDT
by
bedolido
(Ann Coulter... A Conservative Male's Natural Viagra)
To: M. Peach
"Things to do at Wal-Mart while your teenaged daughter is taking her sweet time" Have her paged. NOTHING is more embarrassing than to have your name blared out over WalMart or KMart loud speakers.
I know this because my teenaged daughter delighted in doing this to me!!!
3
posted on
07/16/2003 8:00:27 AM PDT
by
YaYa123
To: M. Peach
LOL
4
posted on
07/16/2003 8:01:07 AM PDT
by
Lazamataz
(PROUDLY POSTING WITHOUT READING THE ARTICLE SINCE 1999!)
To: YaYa123
bttt
5
posted on
07/16/2003 8:03:56 AM PDT
by
6323cd
To: M. Peach
13. Go into a fitting room and yell real LOUD 'We're out of toilet paper in here!LMAO!
6
posted on
07/16/2003 8:05:29 AM PDT
by
wysiwyg
(What parts of "right of the people" and "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?)
To: M. Peach
LOLOL! Thanks!
7
posted on
07/16/2003 8:05:42 AM PDT
by
BenLurkin
(Socialism is slavery.)
To: M. Peach
Really funny. In my family, though, I have a husband who loves to go shopping and I HATE it. He even tries to drag me out to go clothes shopping and waits patiently to give me his opinion. I hate it so much that I will do anything to avoid it. It's why my clothes, er, look it too often. When I do go out, it's so that my dear husband won't get accused of not buying clothing for his wife--who would rather stay home and read. LOL!!
8
posted on
07/16/2003 8:06:05 AM PDT
by
twigs
To: M. Peach
14. Take a camera from the camera department and then go to the hunting/fishing department and pretend to take pictures of customers buying ammo. Wear sunglasses and a cap while doing this.
15. This also works in lady's lingerie.
9
posted on
07/16/2003 8:09:45 AM PDT
by
A_perfect_lady
(Let them eat cake.)
To: YaYa123
I've been to Wal-Mart - Great prices - however, it's constant movement - you can't stop for 3 seconds to look at anything without someone trying to get by you.
I call it the Wal-mart shuffle.
10
posted on
07/16/2003 8:10:17 AM PDT
by
M. Peach
(eschew obsfucation)
To: M. Peach
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone? You must be in another store if you have a clerk ask you if you need help.
11
posted on
07/16/2003 8:10:20 AM PDT
by
cinFLA
To: A_perfect_lady
#16. Ask the clerk if they have anything in the store made in USA.
To: M. Peach
LOL. Thanks.
To: Gabrielle Reilly
And my all time favourite from school days....
set all the mouse traps
14
posted on
07/16/2003 8:12:43 AM PDT
by
spokeshave
(against albore the wood, rats and fogs)
To: A_perfect_lady
14. Take a camera from the camera department and then go to the hunting/fishing department and pretend to take pictures of customers buying ammo. Wear sunglasses and a cap while doing this.Our Wal-Mart has a cable attatched to each camera. Bastards.
I prefer instead to make my own music videos using the display camera already hooked up.
To: A_perfect_lady
14. Take a camera from the camera department and then go to the hunting/fishing department and pretend to take pictures of customers buying ammo. Wear sunglasses and a cap while doing this. 15. This also works in lady's lingerie.Speaking as a man... this is a good way to be thrown in jail. For a woman to do it, it would be funny
16
posted on
07/16/2003 8:22:15 AM PDT
by
bedolido
(Ann Coulter... A Conservative Male's Natural Viagra)
To: M. Peach
I just go look at the guns and fishing gear....
To: MD_Willington_1976
I just go look at the guns and fishing gear....I just find a chair close to the exit door and pretend I'm not girl-watching.
18
posted on
07/16/2003 8:39:32 AM PDT
by
bedolido
(Ann Coulter... A Conservative Male's Natural Viagra)
To: M. Peach
The problem I have with Walmart is that it often takes me longer to pay for something than it took me to find it in the store.
19
posted on
07/16/2003 8:46:31 AM PDT
by
rllngrk33
(Being a liberal means never admitting you're wrong, even in the face of facts.)
To: M. Peach
The problem I have with Walmart is that it often takes me longer to pay for something than it took me to find it in the store.
20
posted on
07/16/2003 8:46:31 AM PDT
by
rllngrk33
(Being a liberal means never admitting you're wrong, even in the face of facts.)
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