Why we cheat - ( Women )

New York Post ^ | July 13, 2003 | Susan Edelman

[Just_de_facts]

Calamari Breath!

[viaveritasvita]

>>"More men would get married, if women forced us too. If the only way to have sex with women was through marriage, then by gum, I guess I would just have to do it, would'nt I?"<<

Hey, this sounds somewhat familiar! I seem to recall that this is the way it used to be (although I might want to discuss the word "force"). There was a time when society frowned upon (to put it mildly) men and women having sex before marriage and I think it was because our elders understood that sex is the least of the considerations for a good marriage -- even in the best of marriages, people talk and eat and keep house and travel and raise children and help parents and deal with life, etc., way more than they engage in sex! Liberals point to those ancient days as repressive for women and as marriage being designed by big bad white men (rather than by God and for our own good, no less). You can thank the feminists for getting women to think in unbiblical ways -- i.e. that home and family are not fulfilling; that men are the oppressors; that women should conduct themselves as men do in the sexual arena rather than uphold the sexual morals of our society (as they traditionally have). Of course, there have always been and always will be men who have bad intentions, but I hate the feminists for what they've wrought between us.

>>"You got me cold on the fornication deal."<<

Only a real man would admit it so freely.

>>"I can only say to God "She started it", and hope for forgiveness."<<

Nice try, but I suspect God is going to ask you about what YOU did. God offers us forgiveness, but I think there might be some questions about our sincerity if we continue to do things we know are sinful.

Call me DUH, but I still don't get why y'all call yourselves pukin dogs (I think you should have kept the "pukin" part -- it certainly is colorful!). But I do apologize for being so flip about it as I see that it is indeed honorable.

*<:o\

[connectthedots]

Not quite sure what you mean by "You've had offers?" Elaborate a bit and I will give very clear and specific answers.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

You said

I have been very pleasantly surprised at the number of middle-aged Christian women who really desire and look forward to having very passionate, and uninhibited sex with a future husband.

[connectthedots]

If you mean offers of marriage, not at this point. I have a few 'things to get resolved before I am in a position to seriously look for a marriage partner. Should be sometime around the end of the year. It is amazing how women will open up to a man who knows how to be verbally and emotionally intimate and discuss things openly that they never imagined they would with a guy soon after meeting them. And to think my ex said I didn't know how to communicate.

[arasina]

Not me. I never cheated on my ex-husband (his mistress was alcohol) and I have never and would never cheat on my boyfriend. That said, I know a couple of fine, upstanding single females who are having affairs with married men. Neither would say it is fun and both have feelings of remorse, but they keep on doing it anyway.

[Just_de_facts]

Squid Boy!

[chasio649]

american women maybe...not all women.

[Pukin Dog]

Call me DUH, but I still don't get why y'all call yourselves pukin dogs

The decisions that drunk fighter pilots make in a bar in the middle of the night, should not be questioned by civilians.

[Pukin Dog]

Is someone trying to upset the Dog?

[krb]

Ok, but what is cheating about that?

[Tax-chick]

I have a lot of faith that he isn't, but he does have much more opportunity than I do.

Your experience squares with mine, except that I'm homeschooling, so I have kids at home ALL the time, and I wear dresses with cleaning products (and worse things) on them!

I trust my husband, too - for one thing, he was faithful when things were BAD between us - but still, he's out there every day among women who couldn't care less that he's married. (Although even with his income, they might be turned off by a guy who'd be paying child support for 7 kids :-)

And if I were to ever leave him (which I won't, because even at the worst, the kids need their Dad) it sure wouldn't be for another man! I think that's just too stupid - they're all human, every single one, none is perfect! A new name, a tiny apartment, a fishtank, and a job somewhere SILENT - the morgue springs to mind ...

[kstewskis]

I am one 'good man' who will not have sex until I am remarried to a passionate Christian woman who desires to have an active and enthusiastic sex life as a part of marriage.

That's great. And it is possible.

One of my co-workers is getting married in August. Both are very strong Christians, and have remained chaste during their entire relationship (about a year and a half). He's been chaste for almost 15 years (since his divorce)...she, for almost 6 (since hers).

Now she's bugging me to go with her to one of those "castle boutique" stores because she wants to shop for and wear something "nice but sexy" for the honeymoon. Her future hubby will be justly rewarded for postponing sex until marriage!

[BRL]

I am sorry to contradict you but,

your friends are most certainly not fine upstanding individuals. They have cheating hearts and they will never find an honest man because they themselves are cheaters. They would not even believe it if they did have an honest man because they are cheaters.

They may be what I call fine "bowling buddies" but they are not people that anyone can depend on, hence they are losers in the area of real relationships.

This has been an interesting thread. I believe that there are good men and women out there. There are a lot of valueless people out there too. Nice people without any values. People that cannot stand up to trials because there is no grounding in their life. Nice people ... when circumstances are going their way. Quitters when things are not going their way.

----------

I cannot believe that anyone would run away from a relationship as soon as they start to actually have feeling for the person. If I understood Pukin dog correctly, he wants to have sex with women and as soon as he actually feels emotionally attracted to that woman he runs?

P.D. your problem is not fickle women. I think you have other problems that you readily blame on cheating women. I know many many good women (most of them are married). I hope to get married again to one of them.

----------

Veritas....

I loved your passage from C.S. Lewis about cutting yourself off from relationships. The idea is that only perfect relationships can be found in heaven, but "hurtless" ones are destined to be made in hell.

I was very sorry to hear you followup and say that you are not going to purue any relationships yourself.

[Threepwood]

That is interesting. That affairs can actually not be fun, but still seem to be imperative in some way.

When I used to help my Dad handle divorces, it wouldn't be uncommon to see women having affairs with sort of garbage-y men (if that term makes sense), or men risking everything to carry on. Really, nothing too special about the cheater's target, just happens to be who they desired. A lot of the time the price of this behaviour was just brutal. I remember a man that lost everything, up to and including his bloody dog as a consquence.

I dunno. It's kind of frightening to think that under the right circumstances you find yourself driven to take actions directly contrary to your best interests. That said, maybe that makes it easier to forgive.

[connectthedots]

Nothing. He was just making the point that a passionate sex life is a part of his marriage and they seem to keep it exciting in a way that too many people may think can only be associated with adultery or sex outside of marriage.

[Just_de_facts]

Not at all Petty officer.

[connectthedots]

Now she's bugging me to go with her to one of those "castle boutique" stores because she wants to shop for and wear something "nice but sexy" for the honeymoon. Her future hubby will be justly rewarded for postponing sex until marriage!

It doesn't have to be 'nice, but sexy'. 'Blatantly erotic' is certainly acceptable within a Christian marriage as well.

[wimpycat]

That's what's so great about being married. Sex isn't only allowed...it's actively encouraged. Even God doesn't mind.

Cheating just isn't worth it. Even if some magnificant Adonis of a man came along and no one would be the wiser, it still wouldn't be worth it.

[kstewskis]

It doesn't have to be 'nice, but sexy'. 'Blatantly erotic' is certainly acceptable within a Christian marriage as well.

Oh yeah, I know, lol. She made that comment when there were others in listening distance. She and I "talk" enough (in private) to know just what she meant, HAR!