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Oh, my friends, the bubbles in the American PRAVDA stew are finally rising to the top of the kettle!

Since 46% of the 45 million dollar budget is $20,700,000, this means the averaged salary of the 248 KQED employees is a very humble and civil servant-like $83,467.00!

Even in their worst-case doomsday scenario, when these penniless church mice cut 40 of the 248 jobs (or about 17% of their work force) to meet the crunch of losing 5 million from their operating budget, the article states that half of the cuts would come from payroll. Assuming the pirate captains in charge will make the lowest swabs walk the plank first, the average salary of those being cut would still be an astonishing $62,500.00 average

Now, let's give them a chance to redeem themselves. Since the Bay Area membership is over 200,000 members, that works out to $225.00 per member to meet their entire budget. Even so, with Corporations are kicking in, minimally, $6,700,000.00, which would reduce the member's burden $33.50 leaving a total tab of $191.50 for an annual membership to pay.

Now that we know a little about the facts behind the figures, let's find out what San Francisco's KQED has to say for itself by tuning into their current fundraiser…

FIRST MALE ANNOUNCER: People, it's only a lousy $191.50 for a year's worth of KQED. I ask you, is that too much for all of the fine programming you've all come to expect and enjoy? For God's sake, I spend more than that on a perm and manicure. My Starbucks habit is bigger than that, girl! It's time to dig deep, GLBTer's! Let's have a quick look at the many benefits that you and your family unit configuration can enjoy from an annual membership…

SECOND MALE ANNOUNCER: First, there's our award winning series on anal health and pleasure. This fine series does in depth examinations of topic that are important to you and our community. Who can forget the groundbreaking episode 'Fisting in Your Face!' I cried for days when I was fisted, er, when I saw that episode the first time. What other venues offer such sensitive portrayals of modern issues?

THIRD MALE ANNOUNCER: Gentleladies and Girlymen, W isn't going to give us our red meat on a platter and wild Bill is gone, Honey. That leaves us girls, so let's roll up our sleeves. Ooh! That's so-o-o-o butch, I'm going to put up my hair like Rosie the Riveter on the next break.

FEMALE ANNOUNCER: Yeah, fine, whatever. What about our classic series 'Grim Tales Told by Fairies' in which we bring the poignant retelling of familiar straight stories. Who can ever forget what the ugly duckling became when he finally found himself. Or what about the alternative lifestyles presented in our version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Isn't this worth 0.52 cents a day? If you wimps can't grow the stones to kick out 0.52 coppers, I'm gonna personally come to your address and WHIP YOUR ASS!

FIRST, SECOND AND THIRD MALE ANNOUNCERS: Ooh! Me first!

All of the kidding aside, this analysis of the crooked waste of NPR and PBS is making me guilty. You see, I haven't coughed up my support for FR this quarter. As soon as this is posted, I'm gonna re-up my support for FR during our fundraiser - how 'bout you?

There. I just forked over some green (voluntarily) to support FR. Now if we can only get rid of the (confiscatory) NPR/PBS piano on our heavily taxed backs...

P.S. I just looked at the numbers for the remaining staff after the cuts. Given an average salary of $83,467.00 before they lay off 40 jobs, the remaining salaries will average at an even heftier $87,500.00.

The math: [[($20,700,000.00)-($2,500,000.00)]/208 jobs]=$87,500.00.

Life is hell for the Commissars at the top.

I'm going to put up my hair like Rosie the Riveter on the next break.

Loved the script!!

And while the third announcer is putting up his hair, he can have a friend pass around his riveter's hard hat for donations.