A man returns from a trip to Shanghai and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a series of tests. The man wakes up after these tests in a private room at the hospital and the phone by his bed rings. "This is your doctor," says the voice on the phone. "We have the results back from your tests and... I'm sorry, you have an extremely contagious deadly disease known as G.A.S.H." "G.A.S.H?" replies the man. "What in the hell is that?" "It's a combination of Gonorrhea, AIDS, SARS and Herpes," explains the doctor. "My gosh, Doc!" screams the man in a panic, "What are we going to do?" "Well we're going to put you on a strict diet of pizza, pancakes, quesadillas and pita bread," says the doctor, matter-of-factly. "Will that cure me?" "Well, no," says the doctor, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
