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Posted on 07/08/2003 11:57:11 AM PDT by lloydwdudley
Don't look now, but France is ready to rekindle the Franco-American fire.
Two months removed from major combat in Iraq, the French have embarked on an ambitious marketing campaign called "Let's Fall In Love Again." In it, Woody Allen -- a New Yorker, of all things -- shills for their cause: "I don't want to have to refer to my french fry potatoes as freedom fries, and I don't want to have to freedom kiss my wife, when I really want to French kiss her."
Ignoring the obvious Soon-Yi joke here, there's a question that must be addressed. Namely: With all that's said to be wrong in Iraq right now -- with peace not won and weapons not found -- what's in it for France if we kiss and make up?
It's not like we can give them the benefit of the doubt on this one, seeing as how they refused to give us just that before the war. France abused its role in NATO, the EU, and the UN, pulling out all the stops in an effort to stop us from toppling Saddam. They didn't just oppose our position. They opposed our country. In April, one in three Frenchmen were found to be rooting against us. Now we're supposed to fall in love somehow?
After all those accusations of a "rush to war," one can't help but see this as a rush to reconciliation. The question is, what gives? And it may well be that the answer lies with freedom fries after all -- and not just freedom fries, but the long list of things we similarly, albeit jokingly, renamed.
True, most of us have never walked a freedom poodle through the park. Nor do we ask those we've cussed in front of to "pardon our freedom." But that's just silliness, anyway. As reported by WorldNetDaily.com, "American visitors to Paris plunged 27 percent in the first four months of 2003 compared to the same time period last year." Between word-of-mouth boycotts and rabble-rousers like Bill O'Reilly, it's clear that Americans have, indeed, hit France where it counts -- not below the belt, but in the wallet.
And it's fine if they'd like to forgive and forget now -- I can't say I blame them -- except for the fact that it doesn't end there.
According to Richard W. Rahn in the Washington Times, "The European Commission and the OECD (Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development based in Paris) are reprimanding and threatening several political and economic entities with blacklisting or other sanctions because of their economic policies." The countries under fire include "the six economies that have the highest per capita income," including Bermuda, the Cayman Islands, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Switzerland, and -- surprise, surprise -- the United States, all of which are "free-market democracies... characterized by providing a high degree of economic freedom and personal liberty."
These "top six" are seen to be guilty of low tax rates, making it hard for other countries (read: France) to compete for investors. Of course, we all know who the real target is here, and it's not Liechtenstein -- with its population less than half the capacity of Giants Stadium. It's not America, either. It's you and me.
The French are mad that we have a voice, and madder still that we've spoken with our checkbooks against them.
Are these sanctions -- or threats of sanctions -- a part of the same Woody Allen scheme? Probably not, no. I won't suggest they are. But surely you can see the running theme.
Not content to deal with tourists and investors head on, countries like France -- and, indeed, Old Europe in sum -- are ready to take from the rich (us) and give to the poor (themselves). It sounds noble on the surface, all right, but here's another option: How about they knock it off with their nanny-state charades instead? It's not our fault socialism is a sham. Don't penalize Americans, or the good folks in Luxembourg, for somebody else's mess.
Democracy, capitalism, free expression, and personal accountability have a lot in common. All four concepts are cut from the same cloth. We call this cloth liberty. It's a powerful thing. Sanctioning us for having lower taxes than Europe is like suing McDonald's because their food made you fat. That's not how it works in America. In America, men rise and fall on their merits. If people aren't visiting Paris or investing there, maybe they ought to try harder. People aren't buying Michael Jackson anymore, either. It's called free enterprise. It's what makes us -- and Bermuda, apparently -- strong.
As Americans, we understand the world's poor and oppressed see us as a beacon of freedom. Conversely, we know others see us as gun-toting, porn-reading, oil-thirsty fools. Some say we're close-minded. Some call us pig-headed. Some accuse us of having imperial designs. The war critics, in particular, said we only saw things from our perspective. Suppose we say fair enough, though? Now what? Can the critics show us how they didn't do the same?
Can they start by seeing things from our side, for once?
We're a boastful people, we know it, and we won't make excuses, but that's not the end of our story.
Few gentle giants have walked this Earth. We're among them. Have we taken a few missteps along the way? Of course we have. Sure. We're not perfect. We're human. We don't hide from it, either. But in spite of our soul-searching and many good deeds, both friends and foes talk up our errors with curious frequency. They're quick to remind us when and where we've been wrong, and this what-have-you-done-for-us-lately attitude makes Americans wonder why we do anything for anyone at all.
No one ever hit us like they hit us on 9/11. No one. Ever. Here we are, less than two years removed from those attacks, and the world acts as if we had it coming -- as if it were our comeuppance. The French write bestsellers about how the Pentagon pulled it off. The Germans call us -- us -- Nazis, then cry when we call them Old Europe in turn. Yes, our allies are entitled to their opinions, but, from where we stand, these are awfully irregular opinions to have.
America saved Europe from itself twice in the last hundred years. We're not looking to hold this over their heads. We're not even demanding respect. But would it be nice? You bet it would.
He's not the world's foremost political pundit, but I think Tom Arnold said it best when he said you don't leave your buddy to fend for himself in a barroom brawl. Yet that's what France did. When push came to shove on the road to Iraq, they were quick to turn and run.
Sorry if that's too cowboy for you, but it's something you just don't do.
Perhaps, as capitalists, we come across as greedy in France's eyes. That we'd flush our French wines down the toilet after paying for them should prove otherwise. But beyond that, money's not the root of all evil. Evil is. We confronted it; France didn't. You can call us a cultureless mass of modernity if you want, but we're real people with diverse feelings and a whole lot of heart. We do care what the world thinks of us. Coining phrases like freedom fries proves we're paying attention. We're none too thrilled, however, with some of the things we see.
America's feeling alone right now, angry, and afraid. Will we pardon the French someday? In time, most likely. We hold grudges here in America, but we also love our sinners as much as we hate their sins. It's getting to be an abusive relationship, what we go through with France, but time -- like the occasional common interest -- heals most wounds.
But if we don't fall head over heels for them, they ought not act surprised. They know as well as we do all is fair in love and war.
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Alone? No. I don't consider having allies such as the United Kindom and Austrailia, to name two of many, as being "alone". Besides, there's a big difference between "alone" and "lonely". If one is big enough to stand alone, then so be it. It doesn't take a global village.
Angry? Yes. OOohhh yes. It's that special kind of slow-burning anger that clears the mind and focuses on a plan of how best to deliver justice, not the hot-headed, thoughtless anger that demands action NOW, with no planning or foresight.
Afraid? Not hardly.
Other than Democrats you mean?
Huh?
Yes...we call them liberals.
Woody's wife=Woody's stepdaughter!
This is the type of geek that France really needs as a spokesman: a pervert!
News Flash from Belgium, the government here is contemplating raping the Belgacom Pension valued at 2B euro (since they founded the pension plan as a part of the privatization restructuring). Look for some news of this from our Freedom loving European Union Seat of Government Hosts, and expect other EU nations to follow "Brussels" in similiar endeavors as the bills pile up:)
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