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You know the alcohol/fireworks match matrix:

Glowy green tube = Tap Water and Humiliation
Sparkler = Apple Wine Cooler and Gender Check
Black Cat = Bud Light in the Can
Bottle Rocket Hand Launched = Dinkel Acker from a straw
Anything launched vertically where you clear the area = Shot of Worm laden Tequila and a Stoli and Tonic
Cherry Bomb = Double Jack Daniels and Water and spearmint snuff
M-80 = Absinthe with a lime and more absinthe
Rocket Propelled Grenade = ThunderWheel's Personal Blackberry Mountain Moonshine Stock: Dogberry Moonshine 200 proof - high octane nectar. Preferred Choice of Kinfolk and Discriminating Revenuers.
MOAB = Dutch Boy Paint and Wood Stain Remover and a Tidy Bowl tablet twist

I'm recovering from ankle surgery on Wednesday, so I'm immobilized. My neighbors keep coming by with liquers and ever changing fruity flavored Margies to soothe my agony. You should see these sods if you think I'm bad! One of the guys knocked on my front door and lit a brick of firecrackers and threw them on my front step. They all blew up before I opened the door. The guy is like a Hamas trainee who doesn't live out his probation. No paper mess whatsoever in the doorstep area.

It would have been a fine "how do ya do" if the timing was right. He overestimated my enthusiasm to open the door for some vagrant attorney hooligan working a caper.

That could never beat the time one summer in high school when a carful of my buddies happened to pull up next to my Dad's car at a stop light. They motioned for me to roll down the windows and they threw a string of lit firecrackers into the lap of a pal sitting in the front passenger seat. He looked like he was in 3X speed twisting and turning from the pops. That'll get your attention and make your eardrums bleed. We were angry, shellshocked and laughing simultaneously. That was a fun vaccuum job as well.