I have no problem with gays marrying, in fact I think it would strengthen society & marriage as an institution (if you sweep away all the domestic partner & civil union statutes). However, I acknowledge that a great number of people hate gays explicitly or implicitly and will behave accordingly.
I agree with the sentiment behind the rest of your remarks.. In the grand scheme of things, however, no one cares what I think..
Just get government out of the marriage business entirely. I could go for a admentment that would ban forever income taxes. No more IRS, no need to know ayone marital status. If the homosexuals want to get married and cen find a church to do it. Cool, who cares.