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COMICAL ALI 'HELD' (NO JOKE)
The Mirror ^ | 25 June, 2003

Posted on 06/25/2003 4:52:24 AM PDT by Happy2BMe

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Wednesday 25 June 2003 06:46am

COMICAL ALI 'HELD' (NO JOKE)

Jun 25 2003

WORLD EXCLUSIVE

From Paul Martin In Baghdad

 

COMICAL Ali, Saddam Hussein's ludicrous spin doctor, has been arrested in Baghdad, it was claimed last night.

Information minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf had been hiding out at a relative's house since April watching satellite TV - banned under Saddam.

US troops set up a road block in the Baghdad suburb and caught him in his car on Monday night.

WINNING: Al-Sahaf

Al-Sahaf - who became a comic hero for his ridiculous denials of the truth in the Gulf War including "We are winning" as Baghdad fell - gave himself up without a fuss.

It was thought he might have killed himself when he disappeared on the day the Iraqi regime collapsed, still insisting Saddam would prevail.

But after his arrest the man, infamous for his amazing lies, begged US soldiers to save him from the embarrassment of being taken away publicly in a conspicuous armoured Humvee.

He was allowed to go into the house where he has apparently been holed up with his wife Lamia, daughter Thefaf and doctor sons Ziad and Isama, to collect a toothbrush, razor and book.

He wore a short-sleeved shirt, rather than his trademark army uniform and beret but was told to remove his tie for fear he might try suicide.

The Americans hope that Sahaf, who did not appear in their deck of cards of Iraq's most wanted, will tell them where Saddam is hiding.

A senior coalition source said: "He has some serious talking to do ... this time."

Relatives said Sahaf has been in a state of shock since the regime collapsed.

He was the last member of Saddam's Ba'ath party to abandon his post, giving his final briefing on the morning the tyrant's statue was symbolically toppled in the capital.

In it he cheerily insisted: "There is no presence of American infidels in Baghdad. They are going to surrender or be burned in their tanks". As he was speaking, US troops were pouring into view behind him, waving to cheering Iraqis.

A colleague at the radio station where he had sent desperate propaganda broadcasts in the last days, told how he had returned and poignantly removed his beret and epaulettes, threw the keys of his Mercedes and his satellite phone into the Tigris River and vanished.

His disappearance prompted rumours he had hanged himself on a lamppost, unable to cope with the reality that Saddam had finally gone.

But he is reported to have spent much of his time watching banned satellite television which his homes have had for many years. Friends said his main pleasures were a few shots of Scotch whiskey and regular barbecues of skewered beef and lamb.

Meanwhile, a worldwide industry exploiting his cult status is growing around the world.

A website set up in his honour crashed after receiving 4,000 hits per second.

And fans have bought thousands of t-shirts with his picture and his most fanciful sayings including: "We slaughtered them and we will continue to slaughter them. God is grilling their stomachs in hell."

__________

THE WISDOM OF ALI

COMICAL Ali's outlandish statements made him a cult figure with President George Bush amongst his diehard fans.

Bush once said of him: "Somebody would tell me: 'He's getting ready to speak!' and I'd pop out of a meeting or turn and watch the TV."

But Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf didn't have the same affection for Bush of whom he said: "'He is a very stupid man. The American people are not stupid, they are very clever. I can't understand how such clever people came to elect such a stupid president." He said another time: "I speak better English than this villain Bush."

As the situation got more desperate in Iraq, Sahaf could not take it in. He said: "They are not in Baghdad. They are not in control of any airport. I tell you this. It is all a lie. They lie. It is a Hollywood movie. You do not believe them."

He always maintained the Americans were losing the war. "We have destroyed two tanks, fighter planes, two helicopters and their shovels - We have driven them back."

Asked about his outlandish claims, he hit back: "Lying is forbidden in Iraq. President Saddam Hussein will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honour and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."

He added: "I blame al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!" Always upbeat, he said: "My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all." "Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly." "Don't believe anything! We will chase the rascals back to London!"

 


TOPICS: Breaking News
KEYWORDS: baghdadbob; captured; comicalali; denydenydeny; iraq; iraqaftermath; iraqdefenders; mediabias; prodictator; prosaddam; saddmites
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I have not been captured - I HAVE NOT!
1 posted on 06/25/2003 4:52:24 AM PDT by Happy2BMe
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To: Happy2BMe; MeeknMing; dennisw; Registered; SJackson; TLBSHOW

2 posted on 06/25/2003 4:54:23 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (LIBERTY has arrived in Iraq - Now we can concentrate on HOLLYWEED!)
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To: Happy2BMe
The disclaimer of (No Joke), ... Made me LOL. That guy has a future in television. I can see him making the talk show rounds, the morning news shows, and the sunday talking head shows.
3 posted on 06/25/2003 4:55:40 AM PDT by KCmark (I am NOT a partisan.)
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To: Happy2BMe
"He has some serious talking to do ... this time."

Yeah! Sure!......................LOL!

4 posted on 06/25/2003 4:59:19 AM PDT by Cold Heat (Negotiate!! .............(((Blam!.)))........... "Now who else wants to negotiate?")
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To: KCmark
I want to see him as a correspondent for Jon Stewart on the Daily Show!
5 posted on 06/25/2003 4:59:48 AM PDT by glock rocks (shoot fast. shoot straight. shoot safe. practice. carry. molon labe)
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To: Happy2BMe
Had I been the Public Affairs Officer making this announcement, I would have to have begun:

I triple guarantee this is the truth...

6 posted on 06/25/2003 5:00:29 AM PDT by nravoter (I've given a name to my pain, and it's "Hillary".)
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To: KCmark
"That guy has a future in television"

Vince McMahon is drooling right about now

7 posted on 06/25/2003 5:01:43 AM PDT by HEY4QDEMS
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To: KCmark
Can someone tell me why I like this guy and don't want to see anything bad happen to him?

I don't get it, I should be calling for his head. I find it odd that he wasn't one of the "cards" either.

8 posted on 06/25/2003 5:04:27 AM PDT by AAABEST
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To: Happy2BMe
If he hollers let him go. How can anyone be mad at this guy?
9 posted on 06/25/2003 5:06:54 AM PDT by Paul M
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To: AAABEST
Can someone tell me why I like this guy and don't want to see anything bad happen to him? I don't get it, I should be calling for his head. I find it odd that he wasn't one of the "cards" either.

Maybe because his outlandish interpretations of reality weren't any worse than those of corporate crooks who took hundreds of millions of dollars while their companies were collapsing.

Isn't what he did called "spin"? Besides that, I'd rather see him do the news on Saturday Night Live than what they have now. He's funnier.

10 posted on 06/25/2003 5:12:20 AM PDT by grania ("Won't get fooled again")
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To: nravoter
I see a great future for him in the Democratic Party. He could, with a straight face, say that Bush was "selected, not elected." That "the Republicans stole the Presidency."

Never mind. They have plenty of experienced liars already.

BTW, why is it that everything the Iraqi government said was accepted by as presumptively true by our media, but everything our own government said was assumed to be a lie?

It's like the "Democrats say", versus "Republicans claim" phenomenon. Was Saddam Hussein an honorary Democrat just because our President is a Republican?

11 posted on 06/25/2003 5:13:10 AM PDT by Montfort
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To: glock rocks
I want to see him as a correspondent for Jon Stewart on the Daily Show!


Perfect.
12 posted on 06/25/2003 5:17:01 AM PDT by KCmark (I am NOT a partisan.)
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To: AAABEST
It's hard to wish for something bad to happen to someone who make you laugh so hard.
13 posted on 06/25/2003 5:17:59 AM PDT by KCmark (I am NOT a partisan.)
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To: grania
I honestly don't understand it. When I heard the rumor that he hung himself, I felt sadness for some reason.

I think it's because we like people that make us laugh, whether they're trying to or not. He was also kind of pitiful, standing there with his world crashing around him and denying to millions of people that it was happening.

Tell me that the thought of him throwing his stuff into the river and going back to his barbeques doesn't engender some sort of sympathy. Even the soldiers were nice to him when they caught him. Then there's all this attention paid to him on the internet, to the point of 4,000 hits per second on just one site.

All this for a lying propagandist? What the hell is going on here? It's really weird!

14 posted on 06/25/2003 5:21:44 AM PDT by AAABEST
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To: AAABEST
I am surprised the writers for SNL haven't contacted him yet. Or CBS for a replacement for Dan. Or maybe CNN....

But being held? This should be under "humor". I'll wait for the Enquirer to break the story. More trustworthy.
15 posted on 06/25/2003 5:38:01 AM PDT by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: All
Hey, he thinks Bush is an idiot, that guarantees him a job at the major networks and a movie contract. He may replace Eddie Murphy in the movies. Hollywood needs a new comedian.
16 posted on 06/25/2003 5:43:53 AM PDT by Bringbackthedraft (Living History $1.00 at your local Dollar Store by December.)
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To: AAABEST
"All this for a lying propagandist? What the hell is going on here? It's really weird! "

If he had not lied he would not be alive! He was playing by SH's rules and no doubt knew the consequence of the truth. No doubt, many are now dead for even suggesting the truth. I would like to hear an interview with him today without the pressure of "stayin alive".
17 posted on 06/25/2003 5:44:06 AM PDT by hoosiermama
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To: Bringbackthedraft
Wonder if he'll get an $8,000,000 advance for his book?
18 posted on 06/25/2003 5:46:24 AM PDT by hoosiermama
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To: hoosiermama
Wonder if he'll get an $8,000,000 advance for his book?

Only if he killed Vince Foster.

19 posted on 06/25/2003 6:05:13 AM PDT by Young Rhino (Does God Wear a Tinfoil Hat? Is he a member of the CFR and Trilateral Commission?)
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Only two more writers of Hillary's book to go.
20 posted on 06/25/2003 6:08:54 AM PDT by ShandaLear
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