re: don't blame the victim?
First, you ought to notice who is creating the victimization--and it is very often the victim. There is a streak of masochism in many women, sometimes it's a mile wide. Neurotic women; violent men--a beautiful love affair in the making. Hang around an ER for a few years, and watch the women come in ..."Make him stop hitting me. I love him. Don't blame him, he can't help it..."
How they love to involve bystanders in their melodrama: they feed off people who like to play hero on their behalfs. That's what's happened to NRO and Mrs. O'Beirne and Mowbray. KB is enjoying the rush of playing champion. Believe me, I know of what I speak. I've been made the fool, too.
I took a long while to read over Roush's website--don't know if it's still up, but she was quite open about her long and miserable marriage and how many times she took back her Muslim husband. She even followed him to SA and donned the abaya--she barely got her daughter out that time--he was threatening to keep them all there. But she managed to get them out--only to take him back again once in the US.
Roush was very critical of the first Bush for having better sense than to play her champion. Strangely, she let Clinton off the hook for eight years. Then Bush the Younger is in power, and she can start her silly "he's ignoring me because of Haliburton" nonsense. This is a woman who seems most upset about her daughters when there's a Republican in the WH.
I also have met a few blondes who have gotten the Sheik Complex. They get dazzled by the romance, then expect someone less self-indulgent to clean up their messes. What exactly should we do, declare war on SA?
Perhaps that might be a good idea for some other reasons, but I'm not lauching a thousand ships for Pat Roush's face. Uh uh. Watch her find another jewel to hook up with--these women are serial victims.
Mowbray enjoys his status for taking on the State Department. I appreciate his contributions. But he and O'Beirne are Roush's fools.
You find flaws in everyone, don't you? First Ms. Roush and then the very authors and sources you referred me to. I'm sure you'll criticize me for taking the time to write this long post, too. But, don't worry, it's not to rescue you or even Sarah Saga or Ms. Roush's daughters: I only want to inform, not to be a hero.
Ms. Roush has been fighting to free her daughtes for 17 to 18 years, according to one article from the source which you called on, the NRO. I didn't read anywhere that she was "pretty quiet" during Clinton's administration or anything that leads me to believe that she has any agenda other than gaining freedom for her daughters.
I disagree with your assessment of abused women. And, if I say so myself, I'm qualified to disagree with you, since I have a special interest in the subject of intimate partner and domestic violence. I've worked as a volunteer with abused women and children, even before I became a doctor or a member of the President's Advisory Committee on Violence Against Women.
The dynamics of abusive relationships are not as simple as you make them out to be. Even smart, take charge, definitely non-neurotic and non-masochistic women can find themselves in an abusive relationship. It sounds like Ms. Roush followed a common pattern before she finally cut off relationships with her husband. Even so, she is in no way responsible for his actions.
And as to the marriage, read Rutabega's first post, again. She was terrified that she would be criticized more for the failed marriage than supported for trying to keep her daughter.
Women are trained from infancy that we are second class to men and that we should make a marriage work no matter what. Some women figure out that violence and lack of respect is a form of adultery because these acts violate the marriage vows, but few do. Within the year, one poster on a Christian forum who was adamant that the only scriptural justification for a divorce is actual adultery, asked "How bad was the abuse?" when challenged on whether a woman should divorce her husband for mollesting their daughter. This is the attitude I've seen all my life. Fortunately, I married a good man.
Abusers are charming and cunning and talented at getting their way. They manipulate the emotions and ingrained conditioning of their victims. Contrary to popular belief, they don't lose control,and the women aren't practicing what you call "marital masochism." Instead the abusers are very much in control in order to use power and violence to gain more power and manipulate. Instead, they choose safe subjects to focus their power games on. If they were truly out of control, they'd get in trouble with other people besides their wives, girlfriends, and children. They'd be in jail.
Women raised in the United States have no idea about the conditions they will encounter in Arab nations. We have no experiences with slavery or being true chattel. We are used to the idea of equal rights and justice under the law, even if we don't always experience it. Read the article posted in message 29 of this thread
http://www.meforum.org/article/520 about the experiences of women who move to Saudi Arabia. The compromises build up to avoid harrassment and confrontation and, probably, because they love their husbands and want to please them and not embarass them.
Abuse is abuse. Intimate partner and domestic violence is like rape, it's not sex, it's not loss of control, and it's not normal. It's all about power and control for the abuser.
Many caregivers get burned by victims and even get burned out. I had to stop doing sexual assault exams at one time because I was getting so angry at my patients and the lives they led that seemed to be to blame for their problems (and getting me out in the middle of the night when I was on call). However, there is never a justification for blaming the victim when she has made the decision to get out of an abusive situation. You don't have to believe her or trust her. Our only duty is to make sure she is safe. In the case of these citizens in another country with a history of human rights abuses, the State Department has the duty to support them and get them out of harm's way.
There is a streak of masochism in many women, sometimes it's a mile wide. And there is a mean streak of sadism in these men that beat the women!
Hang around an ER for a few years, and watch the women come in
Please tell me your not a doctor? A nurse? Because you do not seem to have the compassion for the field that it requires to make you good to treat people. Do you need to become a victim to dispense of your seemingly cynical opinion?
We were not talking about Roush here, she was just a guest on the program and you cannot equate one case with another.Where is your objectivity and humanity?