Author tells companies; "Your Marketing Sucks"

Yahoo Business News ^ | 6/18/2003 | Mark Egan

[ZGuy]

NEW YORK, June 18 (Reuters) - American companies spend millions of dollars every year on slick advertising to market products from beer to luxury cars, but a new book tells them; Your Marketing Sucks.

Marketing expert Mark Stevens believes car makers waste millions of dollars on advertising, sees fast food company McDonald's Corp. (NYSE:MCD - News) as adrift and scoffs at beer ads in his book, to be published by Crown Business July 15.

As Stevens sees it, companies fall victim to silky-tongued Madison Avenue ad agencies more interested in winning Clio awards -- the industry's equivalent of the Oscars -- than actually selling anything.

Among the efforts "Your Marketing Sucks" ridicules are struggling U.S. brewer Miller's "Catfight" ads -- provocative commercials that feature beautiful women wrestling each other.

"Miller came out with these sexy ads that were designed to get the attention of guys. But what they really did was drive guys into the bedroom and not into the supermarket, where the beer is sold," he told Reuters, referring to the SABMiller Plc (London:SAB.L - News) unit.

Stevens is no fan of fancy television commercials to sell cars and he also detests the glossy brochures Detroit's auto makers print up for their U.S. dealerships.

"General Motors (NYSE:GM - News) probably spends many million dollars every year on brochures, but no one has ever sold a car on the basis of a brochure," he said in an interview.

Fast food giant McDonald's gets a tongue lashing from Stevens, who runs marketing firm MSCO in Purchase, New York.

"Their restaurants look shoddy, the golden arches have lost the kitschy appeal they once had, the food is totally out of kilter with the way people eat today and they are trying to fix their problems with ads," he said.

He holds up Walt Disney, founder of Walt Disney Co.(NYSE:DIS - News), Bill Gates (News) of Microsoft Corp.(NasdaqNM:MSFT - News), Wal-Mart Stores Inc.(NYSE:WMT - News) founder Sam Walton and Apple Computer Inc.'s (NasdaqNM:AAPL - News) Steve Jobs as examples of businessmen who properly marketed their companies without wasting money on advertising that did not generate profits.

The key to that success, he said, is that the running and marketing of the company are integrated rather than separated and the top executive is the firm's best pitchman.

The book is filled with tips for business owners. First among them is to stop all advertising and marketing efforts until company heads decide on their broader strategy to ensure that every ad dollar will bring more revenue and profit.

The author hopes to turn his snappy title into his own brand. After a promotional tour, Stevens plans to write his next book, "Your Marriage Sucks: Face it, Fix it or Leave it."

Then he plans two more in the same vein -- "Your Job Sucks," followed by "Your Boss Sucks."

[Cable225]

The author hopes to turn his snappy title into his own brand. After a promotional tour, Stevens plans to write his next book, "Your Marriage Sucks: Face it, Fix it or Leave it."
Then he plans two more in the same vein -- "Your Job Sucks," followed by "Your Boss Sucks."

Just can't wait to grab these little rays of sunshine. Maybe his last book can be titled My Books Suck.

[Drango]

Bill Gates (News) of Microsoft Corp...as examples of businessmen who properly marketed their companies without wasting money on advertising that did not generate profits.

Oh yeah, Microsoft advertises on Salon.com to people too cheap to pay the site fee. Now there's a market for ya.

[DeweyCA]

This guy's schtick sucks.

[ventana]

He's got a point. All the ad guys talk about is "branding." Great so products end up being overbranded, take for instance the Geico ads: silliness designed to get attention. But does the consumer know what the product is, and why it's the best product in its category on the market. Doing that in a clever way is great advertising and branding. V's wife

[fightinJAG]

bwahhhhaahahaha

[lelio]

Stevens is no fan of fancy television commercials to sell cars
There's an interesting car from Toyota in a recent issue of Forbes that looks like a Mini Cooper crossed with a minivan. Around $13k gets you the base model and you can snap on extras, like a steering wheel, fancy lights, etc. They're making a lot of money off each one as it has a cheap motor and the car really has no curves on it so its easy to press out the shell.
From the article it looks like their advertising is going to be mostly word of mouth. Which got me to thinking: when was the last time you bought a car because of the ad on TV? If you're in the market for a car you can find out the landscape within 5 minutes of searching on the web.
Also the only car ad I can remember lately is the Mitsubishi one with the dance music.

[KarlInOhio]

Among the efforts "Your Marketing Sucks" ridicules are struggling U.S. brewer Miller's "Catfight" ads -- provocative commercials that feature beautiful women wrestling each other.

I've watched that commercial many times, and I really didn't remember which company's commercial it was.

"General Motors (NYSE:GM - News) probably spends many million dollars every year on brochures, but no one has ever sold a car on the basis of a brochure," he said in an interview.

The last time I bought a car, I narrowed it down to two models and test drove them. The Toyota test drive was the typical 4 right turns with the salesman next to me. The Saturn salesman was completing a sale with another person, so he had a car brought out for me, told me to drive it for about 45 minutes and then we could talk. Guess which car I bought.

[Shooter 2.5]

The funniest thing about the foreign car ads is every time they show the car, it's sliding sideways.

I keep saying to myself, "Yep, that's what I want. A car a person can't drive in a straight line."

[the gillman@blacklagoon.com]

Nothing kills a bad product faster than good advertising.

-Frank Perdue

[jbg]

If you want to see a really great (and effective) car ad, check out this Honda ad.

http://home.attbi.com/~bernhard36/honda-ad.html

[lelio]

Sliding sidewise on wet payment and in slow motion with some song being played way too loud. Does that pickup really want to run through my wicked garden? Do I even have a wicked garden?
Just thought of another car ad I can actually remember: the VW sychronisity ads from a number of years ago. And that's mainly because the girl in it is Nina from FOX's "24" show.

But by far the most annoying ads are for the post office. Hello, everyone knows that you deliver mail and have a near monopoly on it. You don't need to advertise that fact.

[Possenti]

Fast food giant McDonald's gets a tongue lashing from Stevens, who runs marketing firm MSCO in Purchase, New York. "Their restaurants look shoddy, the golden arches have lost the kitschy appeal they once had, the food is totally out of kilter with the way people eat today and they are trying to fix their problems with ads," he said.

Gotta agree with him there. EVERY single McDonald's in my area (about a dozen) has the crappiest service I've ever seen. I always wait at least 15 minutes to get my food, even during non-rush hours. Every burger I get has gristle in it, I've gotten chicken sandwiches with some cartlidge-type pieces in it, the fish sandwiches taste like wet paper towels smeared with tartar sauce, and the salads usually have a half-inch of water in the bottom of the tray with brown lettuce floating on top. Don't even get me started on the side orders... < /rant >

But hey - they have some pretty slick commercials!

[discostu]

Probably the worst example of what you mention is ING, who's ads specifically mention that they're not going to tell you what they do.

And these days many of the ads don't brand at all, you see that a lot during the Super Bowl. Quick somebody tell me what company was being advertised by the running of the squirrels.

Now I will disagree with the guy on the Miller commercials, the wrestling babe commercials are part of a long series they've been doing for over a year. They're doing a good job of pushing both the brand and the idea of drinking their beer while hanging out chatting with your friends. They've even got a good catch line (life is best shared over a Miller Highlife)... lousy beer but good commercials.

[lelio]

lousy beer but good commercials.
I think that's the problem right there. If some exotic beer ran this ad it would get instant name recognition. "Did you see that girl wrestling ad from XYZZY Beer!"
As such people see the Miller part and think "Oh that's the beer I guzzled from a keg in college when I was too drunk to care what it tasted like."

[discostu]

Actually the Miller commercials generally make good buzz. I love their commercials. But they're in a very unenviable position, being the 3rd of the big 3 beers in a time when the microbrews are coming on strong and taking market share from the big 3 really sucks. You can tell Miller's commercials are good though because Sam Adams has recently stolen the idea with a slight twist (the business lunch one is brilliant). Problem is none of the market share Coors and Bud are losing is going to them, the formula for the beer market has changed. It's actually the only of the big 3 I'll drink, Bud gives me an instant hang over and Coors smells so nasty I've never actually drank it, Miller sucks but it's better than not drinking beer.

[Drew68]

bump for later