[Lexington Green]

All your fluids are belong to us.

[coloradan]

Hey! You are licensed by the government to drive on public roads, and you are bound by their terms if you wish to retain that permission. Now, if you would please move your seat a bit forward to make room for the brainwave monitor, tape recorder, eye movement sensor, speed measurement device, and inside driver-safety cam and outside traffic safety cam, they would be much obliged. And please do not forget to have your anal probe installed, and remember to hook it up to its machine each time you start your car. Remember, cops won't pull you over for a disconnected anal probe sensor, but if they pull you over for something else, they can cite you for an unbuckled sensor.

Thank you and drive safely.

[Wolfie]

I'll take a saliva test over a urine test anyday. The saliva test can only detect marijuana use up to 6 hours, 24 for other drugs. Beats them looking into my past up to 30 days. Assuming they'll only use this in situtations where they could have forced you to pee in a cup anyway, its a net win. Of course, once they figure this out, they'll stop using it and go back to the pee standard.

[buffyt]

For sure, all your fluids are belong to us!

Some commons foods and medications show up as illegal drugs in drug tests. GOOD LUCK!

Don't eat poppy seeds, don't take cold pills, they will nail your assss.