Posted on 06/11/2003 6:34:51 AM PDT by DocFarmer
Thoughts for Father's Day: ''A Father's Duty''
Posted by Doc Farmer Wednesday, June 11, 2003
I'm fortunate that I'm the father of two wonderful, beautiful and intelligent children. I'm not so fortunate about my ex-wife, of course, but that's another matter entirely. My kids live in England with their mother, and I don't get to see them nearly as much as I'd like, mainly due to my work and my location. But be that as it may, as any father I try to be involved in their lives as much as I can be, and give them the benefit of my guidance and my love whenever and wherever possible.
My son and my daughter are now entering their turbulent teenage years. I still remember those years for myself, and they were filled with wonder and angst, with hope and terrible fears. As their dad, it's incumbent upon me to provide them with the tools necessary to prepare for their lives as adults, to be productive and honorable members of society.
But, as in any family, there are differences of opinion as to how this should be achieved. My ex and I are currently in a bit of a disagreement on one particular, and rather sensitive, part of their cultural and moral upbringing. Even married parents have differences in areas such as these, so I in no way fault my ex for this. We just see things differently. But I have an op/ed column and she doesn't, so I can air my side of the story as I see fit. Nyaa-Nyaa-Nuh-Nyaa-Nyaa.
As you can see, we have a mature, adult approach to handling our differences...
I think all the fathers out there reading this will back me up, when I say that there are some lessons that children must learn from their dad as they go through puberty. There is certain information that a father is best suited to provide his children, information that a mother cannot impart with the same, shall we say, perspective.
I'm talking, of course, about the Facts of Python.
I learned the truth about the world thanks to Monty Python, at about the age my children are at now. And I believe, with every fibre of my being, that it is vital for them to learn the same lessons in a structured and loving manner. Python is an integral part of society, one that we all must reflect in our own souls, as well as our dealings with other members of this small blue planet we share. Python helped me to prepare for my life in the greater world. In fact, I was surprised at just how accurately Python was reflected in daily British life. And I lived and worked in the U.K. for more than SEVEN YEARS.
Monty Python was far more than just a television show. It was, and is, a philosophy, a way of life that teaches the importance of humour, satire, and dead parrots in a modern post-industrial societal framework. It is a social microcosm of politics, business, religion, and men in women's clothing with high-pitched voices.
These are lessons our children MUST learn if they're to have any type of social advantage in this, the dawn of the third millennium. Or, as I like to refer to it, the Python Millennium.
I mean, let's be brutally honest here. Would YOU want your child to be uninformed about the importance of :
* Mr. Wensleydale's obstructionism in the ''Cheese Shoppe'' sketch (and the result to him), which reflected the dangers of unchecked bureaucracy and the common man's correct response? * The over-employment of British Gas in the ''New Cooker'' sketch and the causal relationship between overt governmental control of utilities and expansionist unionism? * The dangers of Freemasonry, as illustrated by an architect who designs blocks of flats that double as slaughterhouses? * How to accurately identify a dead vicar on the landing? * The home address of Mr. Neutron, and the risk of global domination by the Royal Mail? * The wonder, nay majesty, of the Fish Slapping Dance? * The risk of inherent taxation of ''thingy''? * The concerns over clever sheep, and the potential dangers of ovine aviation? * Why the ranks of the Queen's McKamikaze Highlanders are dwindling at such an alarming rate? * The sociological goldmine that was the discovery of the legendary Batsmen of the Kalahari? * The crippling social ailment that is Chartered Accountancy? * Jimmy Saville dressed up as Queen Victoria? * The popularization of Spam in pre-Internet society? * The address of the Ministry of Silly Walks, and the socio-political impact of Le Marche Futile in the new EU hegemony? * Lemon Curry? * The peace that can be found at the church of St. Looney Up The Cream Bun and Jam? * The soul-stirring rendition of the Exploding Blue Danube? * How to tell the difference between Whizzo Butter and a Dead Crab? * The winner of the English Football Cup in 1949? (It was Wolverhampton Wanderers, who beat Leicester, 3-1) * The Semaphore Version of ''Wuthering Heights.'' * How Not To Be Seen?
These lessons and more are VITAL to the intellectual, cultural, and indeed spiritual needs of our children. And as a father, I believe that all men must take up this responsibility, this challenge, to pass on Pythonic wisdom to future generations. We have been blessed with such knowledge. It is our solemn duty to hand this down to our progeny.
However, let me make one thing plain. I do not believe that Python should be taught in the schools. There are some things that must remain a parental responsibility.
Besides, where would you want your children to learn about the Facts of Python? At home, in a loving, supportive and nurturing environment?
Or do you really want them to learn such things on the streets?
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This article was originally posted on ChronWatch at: http://www.chronwatch.com/content/contentDisplay.asp?aid=3043
www.chronwatch.com
(Excerpt) Read more at chronwatch.com ...
But what about a pointed stick?
Or do you really want them to learn such things on the streets?
I just wanted to read a simple article. I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.
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