Posted on 06/08/2003 1:05:01 PM PDT by ml/nj
Something Special in the Air
I am sitting on American Airlines Flight 1844, to Chicago from Santa Ana, Calif., as I write this story, and I am trying to control my rage. A Screwdriver has helped take off the edge.
About 30 minutes ago, American Airlines agents took two empty S.T. Dupont X-tend lighters out of my checked-in bag, and said that they needed to be destroyed. They claimed they were "dangerous goods" that could endanger the lives of my fellow travelers -- apparently the equivalent of weapons of mass destruction in today's airline world.
I was actually at the gate waiting for the flight when my name was called over the loudspeaker. "Sir, they have found two cigarette lighters in your bag and they need to be destroyed," said a woman who was working the check-in desk, rather officiously.
"Those two lighters are worth about $300," I said. "You can't just destroy them."
"I suggest you go and speak to the American Airlines employee who checked you in, but I think that you might miss your flight," she said, not really bothered and obviously saying her comment in hopes that I would relent to losing my lighters.
She looked horrified when I hightailed it towards the check-in desk. It meant going through the security gauntlet again, which included taking off my belt, shoes, eyeglasses and IWC stainless steel watch -- thank God I left my flak jacket at home.
Ms. Karen Lawson, the American Airlines compliance officer at John Wayne Airport (what would the Duke do in this situation?) couldn't have been less helpful. It was as if she was speaking to bin Laden himself as she explained that such dangerous goods as my lighters should be immediately destroyed. But she would give me two hours to find someone to pick them up, if I wished. "I can't give you any more time," she said, "and I am doing you a favor giving you two hours."
I explained that my 95-year-old grandmother, whom I had been visiting in California, was not up to the task of retrieving my lighters from her wretched grasp. "Couldn't you just give me the lighters back?" I asked politely.
"I am unauthorized to do that, and I could be fined if I did so," she said. She looked very annoyed that I was still standing in front of her.
I changed my tactic. "I fly more than 60,000 miles a year with American Airlines and I only have two hours to find someone to get my lighters? Surely, you can help me somehow?"
She said, "That's all I can do for you."
There was no use continuing. I spun around and ran for the security check to make my way to Gate 8 for the flight to Chicago. But I was really upset. It wasn't the money lost. It was something more disturbing. I felt that American Airlines had taken something more from me. Those were my lighters, personal things that I valued. One of them had traveled around the world with me. They were like old friends.
I understood and welcomed the security measures in the airport, but it all seemed so arbitrary. I had checked in lighters (empty of butane) on American Airline flights from the Dominican Republic to Miami as well as Miami to Las Vegas with no problem, a fact I explained to Ms. Lawson. But she would have nothing to do with it. Perhaps she wanted the lighters herself?
In any case, I hope she -- or whoever else ended up with them -- enjoys my lighters. And I hope she enjoyed the opportunity of being some sort of mini-dictator. What she should have done is offered to mail the lighters to my office in New York. Or, she could have simply said that she was extremely sorry for the loss. But she didn't care, and attitude like that is why few will shed tears when another few thousand American Airlines employees are fired, or their company closes. But I wish her, and American, no bad will.
Maybe she didn't care because I was a smoker. I certainly didn't have any prejudice for her officious, unthinking demeanor.
We all know what it is like to be a cigar smoker in America, so we are used to being treated poorly. Don't check your lighter in your luggage. Don't smoke in public places. Don't buy Cuban cigars. Don't inflict secondhand smoke on others.
I just wish some people could say it all with a smile.
I noticed during recent travel that a booth has popped up at the Oakland Airport where a passenger can have prohibited items stored for a dollar. It isn't a secure location, just some entrepeneur maintaining a roped off area with a bunch of boxes stacked up.
-PJ
Yes, if the TSA agent is willing to flick them all first. If it lights, then it is prohibited. If it doesn't, then it's a harmless piece of metal.
-PJ
Here's another aspect: I don't know how it is at the John Wayne airport, but I recently departed from the Omaha airport on United, and over there they physically searched all the checked bags PRIOR to the customer checking in the luggage, and they were TSA checkers not United employees. Presumably, if something were found it would be returned to the owner as this was still a public unsecure area and nothing had been turned over to the airlines yet.
Apparently, at John Wayne airport, the bags are checked in first and then an American Airlines employee goes through the bags, confiscating what they don't like and refusing to return the property as it has already been passed through security.
I guess the lesson is that it is less of an airline policy and more of an airport policy, depending on which side of the security line that the bag is searched.
-PJ
I don't object to the notion of American Airlines refusing to let the lighters on board. They may have appeared to be empty, but that doesn't necessarily mean they were. If e.g. the valve were defective, it would be possible for a lighter to appear empty and yet contain a significant quantity of butane. In the reduced-pressure environment of the cargo hold, this could have potentially bad consequences.
That being said, I see no reason the aircraft personnel should not have given the passenger his property and hold him he had to make alternative transportation arrangements for it and/or himself.
BTW, I'm assuming the lighters weren't constructed to have a removable gas reservoir. If they were designed to use removable gas cartridges, then I see no reason to prohibit them if no such cartridges were installed [nb: a very different case from having apparently-empty cartridges installed].
How do you tell the difference then between an empty lighter and a full lighter whose valve is stuck?
-PJ
That we missed this is ridiculous. Their story is that they use air transport to fly confiscated items out of area? It sounds to me that the supervisor is trying to blow of Mr. Murphy.
Sure the TSA spends money on security, and they spend money (supposedly) flying this stuff "somewhere" to be destroyed. If TSA acts like every other federal agency I know (except the Dept of Education), then they have to document nearly everything that is transposted and ensure that each item is destroyed. This is, after all, not much different than the local constabulary destroying confiscated items after trial. How much money do they spend on the paperwork, and the army of clerks to manage the data? Oh, I forgot, the TSA doesn't require any paperwork from the traveller that the property has been confiscated, or destroyed.
Anyone happen to know where this mythical el destructo place is that TSA uses (or at least John Wayne Airport), and whether they have an auction to try and recover the value of government property?
-PJ
I fly at least once every couple months, and have been carrying my zippo in my inside (biker) jacket pocket for years. No trouble so far, knock on wood. Not even last time when one of the security folks turned my jacket inside out, going through the line. Ol' boy poured out all the crap in my pockets, ran said jacket through the machine one more time, and handed it all back to me, zippo and all. Though I was sure he was gonna say something about that... I've heard about folks losing their lighters...
I'm surprised they took the lighters and let him keep the screwdriver.
The War on Terrorism means blaming everyone except terrorists for Terrorism. Right out of the Clintigula Playbook.
Best regards,
I'm usually successful in resisting the perfectly normal urge to say it, but in this case...
You are a freepin' idiot!
A little due diligence on the author's part before traveling could have prevented his expensive surprise. Sorry, but I can't buy into the "poor li'l oppressed cigar smoker me" spin on this one.
With a minimum of reading comprehension (no due diligence required at all) you might have noticed that the lighters were empty...
You know, as flammable as say... a $300 pair of socks.
I didn't realize that you were a kid.
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