Pencil Neck Geek Freddie Blassie Back when I was a kid, life was going swell. Till something happened, blew every thing to hell. That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak, Said "A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek." Mom said, "Sell it to the circus, what the heck." Dad said, "Nope, this one's a pencil neck. And if there's one thing lower than a side show freak, It's a grit eatin', scum suckin', pencil neck geek." You see if you take a pencil that won't hold lead, Looks like a pipe cleaner atached to a head, Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks, You got yourself a grit eatin', pencil neck geek. (chorus) Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak, scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique. He's a one man, no gut, loosing streak. Nothin' but a pencil neck geek. Soon the geeks were poppin' up all over town. You couldn't hardly sneeze without knockin' one down. After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick, Just reach for a geek, they'll do the trick. One day we cut one up for fish bait. Learned our lesson just a little bit late. Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red. Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead. chorus Most any night you know where I can be found. Yeah, stomping some geek's head into the ground. So keep the faith 'cause in Blassie you can trust, I won't give up 'til the last geek bites the dust. chorus They say, "these geeks come a dime a dozen." I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplin' the dimes. Its gonna be real hard times for all of these grit eatin', scum suckin', boot lickin', drop kickin', gut grindin', nail bitin', glue sniffin', scab pickin', butt scratchin', egg hatchin', sleezy, smelly, pepper bellied, dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks. Nothing but a pencil neck geek. -- available on: King of Men, Raunchy Tolk 7" EP, 1977 I Bite the Songs, Rhino picture disc LP, 1977 Dr. Demento's Dementia Royale, Rhino RNLP 010, 1980 [this record contains an extended section after the song] Dr. Demento Presents the Greatest Novelty Records of All Time, Vol. 4: the 1970's, Rhino LP/cassette 823, 1985 Dr. Demento Presents the Greatest Novelty CD of All Time, Rhino 75768, 1988 Dr. Demento - 20th Anniversary Collection, Rhino CD/cassette 70743, 1991