A little bit?
Now I'm bordering on outrage!! ;-)
That's a red herring. We've all agreed that men and women are different; we're not Democrats here. What, then, is so incomprehensible about the idea that mothers and fathers are both essential to their children, but in different ways, and with emphasis on different needs and seasons in their children's lives.
It seems to me that you're trying to create a dichotomy, mother vs. father, where there is none in nature. And based, for heaven's sake, on the question of which parent should give up a few months of their FReepin' "self-actualization" to pay attention to the kiddies! It seems awfully Hillary to me, at the roots ...