Posted on 05/25/2003 5:27:19 PM PDT by JimVT
Andy Rooney finally got something right.....blaming the jerks who make bottles, cans, etc...difficult to open
Here it is:
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Hard To Open
NEW YORK, May. 25, 2003
Do you need one of these to open a bottle these days? (AP)
Why should a bag of potato chips be a problem? What are they protecting in there? The air? Half the time, you end up tearing it open with your teeth.
(CBS) A weekly commentary by CBS News Correspondent Andy Rooney.
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We have a crisis in America today more serious than any threat posed by Saddam Hussein, because it affects the lives of every one of us every day.
The problem is this: Everything we buy is too hard to open.
Look at this stuff. They make it, but we can't get at it. It doesn't matter whether it's a mouthwash, a video cassette, a jar of jam or a bottle of pills. They're all too hard to open. No one wants to spend five minutes working on the top of something.
Pill bottles are called "child proof," but they're adult proof. These caps on medicine bottles may have saved the lives of some children, but there's no statistic on how many adults have died in the middle of the night because they couldn't get the top off a bottle of their medicine.
Everything opens a different way:
One set of directions says "push down and turn to open, squeeze sides while turning." These are the worst. Like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time.
Others, you have to go at with a knife to get the plastic off before you start twisting, pressing or turning.
Why should a bag of potato chips be a problem? What are they protecting in there? The air? Half the time, you end up tearing it open with your teeth. How many small children have died when they got into a bag of potato chips by accident?
And what about a quart of milk or a container of orange juice? If there isn't anything dangerous in there, why do they make it so hard to get in one? It says "Push up"! Push what up? About 25 percent of the time, it doesn't work, anyway.
Look at this box of granola. You fight your way in and then they tell you how to get at the granola itself. You need a pair of scissors.
Plastic packages are a pain. They're good for the manufacturer, and they make it easy for the store to display, but you need a crowbar to open one.
If you think there's any doubt that things are too hard to open, look at the cottage industry that has sprung up. There are different kinds of gadgets designed to help you get into a package, a can, a bottle or a box.
Now what I need is something to help me open the package with the opener in it.
NB: I have been bitching for years about these stupid impossible to open containers and wondering how many poor old ladies have died because they couldn't open the nitroglycerine bottle in time.
Why do the Shuttle tiles come off relatively easy? Meanwhile opening any package, bottle or plastic container al la Rooney's observation is the case in point?
Worry about something else.
Prescription bottles come with two types of lids. The kind that come off easily and the child proof. If you have no children you ask for the other kind. Nitroglycerine BTW must be sealed tightly, as exposure to the open air will, over time, make it loose it's potency.
I hate it when I do that
I'm a pretty strong guy but on many occasions, I end up using my teeth to open stuff because I just can't get it open any other way (only wimps use scissors). One thing in particular are those little bags of Planters Peanuts - the only item I allow myself to eat out of the vending machine at work these days. Those things are impossible. One time, I pulled too hard and half the peanuts went all over my desk and the floor. Whatever happened to the notch that they used to put on those things?
The electronic gadgets they sell at Wal-Mart are brutal. I bought a portable Walkman and the thing comes shrinkwrapped in this very thick sheet of plastic. I had to spend 10 minutes bending it back and forth before I managed to coax a crack big enough to stick my fingers in and pull on. Music CDs are a pain too. Not only are most of them shrinkwrapped with nothing to pull on, but once you finally get the outer shrinkwrap off, they now put on this plastic strip along the top of the CD that shows the title so it can be displayed in bins. I have yet to get this strip off in one piece. Usually it breaks into about five different strips before it all comes off.
Never thought of that - I just rap the lid once or twice with the handle of a butter knife, apparently it works the same way.
BTW - I wonder how many folks know what a "church key" is? Most folks I know have looked at me funy when I use the term.
Old ladies & old men aren't a factor in the equation ... they have lived their lives ... statisticians ignore this segment of the population ... for the same reasons advertizers do ... they lack major income (most of them) and they aren't long for this world. Brutal but true.
I'm not WORRIED about anything, Teddy-boy.
I just think Rooney made a valuable point about the fact that packages and containers are designed for the seller and not the buyer.
I spent 5 minutes today trying to easily open a package of batteries.
No freakin' way in hell I could just tear it open...I had to get a knife a cut into it.
Same thing with the morning cereal box.
Not a real big deal..just another 'screw the consumer' pain in the butt!
I also keep a utility scizzor in the kitchen for use on those freakin hard plastic wrap packages as well as cutting the ends of bagged food items.
I have trouble opening two liter coke bottles. I am a large, fairly strong guy but I just can't get a grip on those plastic caps. I sometimes have to get a vise grip to open them. I noticed that some of the RC cola types have a ring around the cap which is rougher and is much easier to get a grip on.
I have discovered that sometimes if I don't grip as hard it is actually easier to open.
FMCDH
Packaging today is designed by government fiat "for the children". The "seller" has no choice in the matter.
More madatory laws (seat belts, helmets, no guns,no smoking, no fatty foods, zero tolerance of everything). And millions of bureaucrats to make sure you follow the mandates.
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