Blue Streaks: Does today's society suffer from a profane strain?

It was a pristine day at Freeman Lake Park: A mom pushed her baby in a swing, a little girl watched the fish she caught flop on the dock, man's best friend chased down a Frisbee and carried it back in his teeth.

Ash Stevens, who had been hanging out with a group of friends, broke the silence when he noticed a pal approaching.

It's not a word you'd expect to hear in a place so peaceful, but no one seemed to care. Stevens thinks he knows why.

Damn right, most people will agree, whether they like it or not. From TV to radio to school hallways, people are swearing more and using worse words than ever before, observers and innocent bystanders say.

Some say the trend isn't a big frickin' deal, but not Jim O'Connor. The president of the Cuss Control Academy and author of the book "Cuss Control" is a sworn protector of vulgarity-free speech.

"It's a decline in civility," O'Connor said. "There are still many people who are offended by it. Not everybody does it, not everybody likes it.

"It's not just words, it's the tone behind them. People are rude. We're rude to each other. That includes not just swearing but (things like) butting in line."

O'Connor admits that compared to violent acts, cussing is a minor offense. But it's frequently committed. If you see violence on TV, you're not necessarily going to go out and commit a violent act, but if you hear someone you admire cuss on TV, you might pick up the habit.

As teenagers strolled through Towne Mall tossing out the occasional obscenity, a group of elderly gentlemen — some in fishing hats, some in dapper jackets — shot the bull at a table near the food court. Considering what they saw in World War II, they say a little salty language isn't going to hurt them. One gentleman even confessed to using a few choice words himself.

"Well, I'll tell you what. I mashed my finger once and you don't want to know what I said," he said (the men declined to give their names).

"You know why a man cusses?" he asked. "He's a person with a low vocabulary trying to make a big impression of himself."

"If someone is mad, they're either ‘p——- off' or ‘really p——- off' or ‘f'ing p——- off,'" he said. "We're losing all these other words like ‘furious,' ‘outraged,' ‘livid.'"

O'Connor is also upset that things get "f——- up" instead of "bungled," and people "bulls—" instead of "lie," "embellish," "exaggerate" or "talk nonsense."

It's been about seven years since Nine Inch Nails caused a stir with lyrics like "I want to —— you like an animal." It's been about seven decades since blues legend Robert Johnson is said to have sold his soul to the devil so he could sing lines such as "squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg."

Allan Futtrell, chairman of the communications department at the University of Louisville, argued probably not, though he gave Johnson points for creativity.

"Saying ‘squeeze my lemon' is more clever than saying "squeeze somebody's butt or their t—- or whatever," Futtrell said. Using a metaphor takes a little bit more talent — it's easy to make people laugh with simple cuss words.

Futtrell's moral of the story about immoral songs: People's thoughts aren't changing, but the way they express them is.

History lesson: People used to cuss all the time until Queen Victoria of England started censoring commoners. Even Shakespeare's work was sanitized. Since then, people have been constantly rebelling against the queen's puritanical restrictions.

Futtrell said kids and girls talk more slangily and saltily. And on that pristine day at Freeman Lake Park, two girls — one on a bike, one walking beside her — made their way through the park dropping f-bombs as if they were on the Enola Gay.

Jessica Humphrey, 18, wouldn't reveal what she and 14-year-old Ashley Callahan were talking about, calling it "personal stuff nobody's allowed to put in the paper." Callahan thought their vulgarities were no big deal.

"I've been doing it since I was a little kid, and that's because of family," she said. "When you live around it, it's not a big deal. I don't care if my parents see it, it's not a big deal."

Callahan first cussed around her family when she was 10 or 11: "It slipped." Her mom told her not to do it again or she'd get her mouth washed out. She did it a couple of years later, and nobody cared.

People always get riled up when boundaries are pushed, then get comfortable as the changes become commonplace, said Dean Nason, a sociology professor at Elizabethtown Community College. For example, he named Bart Simpson's catch phrase "eat my shorts" and the display of some of the actors' derrieres on "NYPD Blue," which got people's panties in a bunch at the time but draw shoulder shrugs now.

"It's just going to be left up to each person and their own value system," said Nason, who noticed that reality shows are pushing the limits of good taste without using bad language. "The mainstream is willing to embrace the pushing of boundaries. Is it worse to hear language, or do you want your kid to see adults eat bugs on TV?"

The place where people need to be careful is when they're around children, Nason said. What's fine for adults to see isn't all right for little eyes, he said. Case in point: the Miller Lite commercial where, after a catfight, one girl asks another, "Wanna make out?"

"As an adult, I might even think that's clever, but I don't want my kids to see it," Nason said.

But cussing is fine for adults, the senior citizens at Towne Mall said, with a few exceptions.

"Ain't nothin' bothers me no more — as long as he's not cussin' me," one of the men said. "That's when his freedom ends — when my fist meets his face."

You probably swear because it is easy, fun, candid, emphatic, expressive, breaks rules, and somehow partially reduces anger and pain. But the negatives outweigh the positives. You really don't win an argument by swearing. You don't prove that you are smart or articulate. Swearing doesn't get you hired, promoted or romantically connected.

Pretend your sweet little grandmother or your young daughter is always next to you. Use inflections for emphasis instead of offensive adjectives. Be more descriptive instead of using the "s" word to describe everything from objects, work and the weather to the way you feel, the way someone looks and the way something smells.

Look to the bright side. Develop a can-do attitude. Worry only to the point that motivates you to prepare for the problem, then hope for the best.

When you are stuck in line or in traffic, ask yourself if a few more minutes matters. If so, and you have no control of the situation, plan the rest of your day or do the thinking that you say you never have time to do. Talk to someone, even a stranger in line with you.

We live in an imperfect world, yet our expectations continually increase. Each day can be filled with aggravations, delays, disappointments and frustrations. The fact is, we have to deal with them anyway. So stop cussing and learn to cope. Consider even the smallest annoyance a challenge, and feel proud of yourself for taking care of it cheerfully and efficiently.

Before you start griping or whining about something, remind yourself of a very important reality: no one wants to hear it! Why would they? Avoid complaining about matters that you and the people with you have no control over. For all other complaints, try to offer a rational solution.

English is a colorful language, but chronic cursers repeatedly use the same, unimaginative words that have been around for centuries. Take the time to develop your own list of alternatives to the nasty words you now use, relying on your own intelligence, a thesaurus, good books, and even some of the more clever TV shows.

Some substitute words can be just as offensive if your tone is abrasive or you insult someone. Think of the response to what you are about to say, and decide if you need to reword your statement to be more effective. Take the time to make your point in a mature and convincing manner.

It is easy to blurt out a swear word at an inappropriate time, or to bark out a tactless or tasteless remark before you have a chance to consider the impact. Think of what you could have said. After you shout an expletive, simply say the tamer word you wished you had said. If you make a statement that you later realize was negative, confrontational or rude, think of how you could have phrased the statement. Over time, these exercises will train you to think and act differently.

Breaking the swearing habit might prove to be no easier that losing weight, giving up cigarettes, or correcting any other habit. It takes practice, support from others and a true desire to be a better person.

41 posted on 05/18/2003 8:51:16 PM PDT by wardaddy (Your momma said I was a loser, a deadend cruiser and deep inside I knew that she was right)

My Grandmother always said:

Profanity is the feeble minded's way of expressing themselves with force.

Every day I hear someone say something that proves her right.

I've also noticed this in writing. We're so casual anymore in our writing to people. I read on some of the "Letters to the editor" in one of the British newspapers. I was amazed at the polite way many of them write! Now in regular conversation, some of these people may be crude. But in writing to an editor, or other, they are very formal.

They write out their whole address, and address the editor as "Sir, or Madam". I was really impressed! I told my Mom about this, and she wasn't surprised. She said that was the way most people used to write for years! She was a school teacher, and she taught many a student how to write, and write well. They used good manners in writing, and were very polite!

I don't deny some aspects of what you say, but that is surrender to the dark forces.

One generation of people who surrender, and the candle of civilization blows out forever.

Civilization needs warriors for the light. It's not for sissies.

A couple of weeks ago I went to the local KFC for chicken for my birthday. The young lady at the counter was exceptionaly attractive, until she opened her mouth to ask for my order. A great big silver spike right through the center. She talked with a lisp so bad I could hardly understand her. I am still shaking my head at that one.

I'm guilty, too. My 11 years in the Army didn't help, with seemingly every third word out of a GI's mouth being some form of the f-word. But that's merely a lame excuse. I will redouble my efforts to speak more civilly in the future. SLB, I am humbly corrected. Thanks for the reminder.

Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!

I for one do not understand how body piercing and tatoos came to be such a fashion among many of our young. I note that self mutilation is a very common characteristic among many primitive tribes and perhaps this atavistic urge does infect a large segment of humanity.

The young lady at the counter was exceptionaly attractive, until she opened her mouth to ask for my order.

Which local KFC and what are her hours?

50 posted on 05/19/2003 7:22:11 AM PDT by Travis McGee (How do you know who is a moderate muslim? He is holding the remote control detonator.)

These self-hating nihilists will make terrific gas chamber attendants.While you are probably correct on that one they will have a real problem if anyone resists them. They will curl and die rather than fight a fair fight with one of their intended victims, but that was also the nature of much of the SS that maintained the camps. the ones with guts went to the front as part of the Waffen SS divisions teh ones with just a sadistic streak went to the camps.

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