Gephardt's Univ. Care Will Require New Terminology (This is Series)

Probably FR ^ | May 16, 2003 | Unknown

[w_over_w]

Washington, DC Unvailing his vision for America, liberal democratic presidential candidate Dick "Strawberry" Gephardt says the new Universal Healthcare will reguire new medical terminology. "I want every American to know what their government will be providing", candidate Dick said. "Americans can't get adequate coverage because they don't understand the HMO system of terms" he continued.

The following is a list of some of the "terms" Americans will expect to see should this become a reality:

Artery.............................The study of paintings.
Benign............................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria..........................Back door to cafeteria.
Barium...........................What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section...........A neighborhood in Rome.
Cat Scan.......................Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize.......................Made eye contact with her.
Coma...........................A punctuation mark.
Dilate...........................To live long.
Enema..........................Not a friend.
Fester...........................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula...........................A small lie.
Hangnail.......................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent......................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain....................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.................A Doctor's cane.
Morbid........................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates........................Cheaper than day rates.
Node............................I knew it.
Pelvis............................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative..............A letter carrier.
Rectum.........................Darn near killed him.
Seizure........................Roman emperor.
Tablet..........................A small table.
Tumor..........................More than one.
Urine..........................Opposite of you're out
Varicose......................Near by

[w_over_w]

I know this is a lot to digest (a gesture not used anymore), but give it a read, take a shower and study it some more.

[Gabrielle Reilly]

LOL. I suspect it will be very effective for him.

[mass55th]

Definitions you didn't know you knew....

Arbitrator.....A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
Avoidable.....What a bullfighter tries to do
Baloney....Where some hemlines fall
Bernadette....The act of torching a mortgage
Burglarize....What a crook sees with
Control....A short, ugly inmate
Counterfeiters.... Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
Eclipse....What an English barber does for a living
Eyedropper....A clumsy ophthalmologist
Heroes....What a guy in a boat does
Left Bank....What the robber did when his bag was full of loot
Lexicon....An expensive import driven by a prisoner
Misty....How golfers create divots
Paradox....Two physicians
Parasites....What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
Pharmacist....Helper on the farm
Polarize....What penguins see with
Primate....Removing your spouse from in front ofthe TV
Relief....What trees do in the spring
Rubberneck....What you do to relax your wife
Seamstress....Describes 250 pounds in a size six
Selfish....What the owner of a seafood store does
Subdued....A guy who works on a submarine
Sudafed...Bringing litigation against agovernment official

[w_over_w]

I didn't know I knew! =^)