Replies

I guess I keep hoping that love conquers all and we've been through soooo much together for sooo many years, it just doesn't seem right to give up.

I'm no angel and that's a fact. I have a temper and I do get irritated when he sighs heavily after I ask him to do something. Sometimes I think I should just ignore his poor attitude and be grateful for however little he does do, but it's easier said than done.

Add to that, how on earth am I supposed to find him physically appealing if his actions are such a turn-off?

I hope you dont mind if I jump in and give some advice.

I've been following this thread, at first because of the humor, and now because of the real life issues it covers.

RM, when a man agrees to be married, or asks a woman to marry him, he is accepting the fact that he has to put his childhood out to pasture and take on the mans role in marriage. What we want or what we desire as men is secondary to the needs of the wife or children.

We are now responsible for the lives and welfare of others who believe in us, and we cant allow our personal pursuits to interfere or even pre-empt our family duties. We cant be the center of attention, even if we want to be all the time, and we cant have it all our way. This doesnt mean we cant aggressively pursue carer goals or things that make the family more secure, because all people, men and women deserve to fulfill their destiny.

This doesnt mean we( men and women) cant have fun, and continue to pursue hobbies or whatever, but we have to do it on our own time, not on family time. We also have a duty to support our family and a duty to maintain stability in the family, economically and emotionally. Its the hardest job in the world, to be honest, and not everyone does it well.

Some men cant grow up, and some refuse to do so, while others decide they want to keep pursuing women while they are married. They opt out of doing it right, and settle for a short term solution that will eventually erupt into a calamity and kill the marriage if they dont wake up to that fact.

Some grow up while they are married, and some are already grown up coming into it. They learn the proper things, and become good husbands and fathers.

That being said, maybe its time he learned to grow up and accept his responsibility as a huband and father, be less self centered, and give more to his family. Life isnt a perpetual tour of your teenage glory days and garage bands. Momma wont be there forever. He needs to recognize the fact that his wife and children are his primary family, and he is responsible for their well being and comfort above all else.

Hope that helps.