Posted on 05/15/2003 12:50:59 PM PDT by WaveThatFlag
Edited on 04/22/2004 11:48:54 PM PDT by Jim Robinson. [history]
A few times in my 12 years writing this column, I've stumbled on a topic so unsettling to readers that it demanded a follow-up. Last month was one of those times, when my story on the problems of dual-income, no-sex marriages drew a torrent of e-mail that read as if I'd jabbed an open wound.
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
First, your speculations about male sexuality are disprovable, but you've structured your opinion in such a way as to be able to ignore any contrary evidence...so I won't bother trying...except to point to the proverbial anecdotes about women dodging sexual overtures from husbands. There is not proverbial counterpart on the male side.
Next, while I agree asexuality does occur, as with the Apostle Paul after conversion, it is extremely rare, and in no case does it support the "born that way" gender argument.
Finally, how can you defend deception of the spouse, because of a social expectation. There is a real basis by for the phrase "hooked a man" because he can't easily get out of it when he finds out who he's really married to. To do so is immoral.
YOU WANT FIRE...HERES FIRE!!!!!......ha!ARE THERE TEMPTATIONS LURKING IN TOMATOES? ...
LET ME COUNT THE WAYS....
Tomatoes are by any definition, an authentic and reputable aphrodisiac. You don't have to be Italian (but it helps) to appreciate the true carnal prowess of this fruit... a ..er ..vegetable..
As part of the nightshade family, which includes potatoes and eggplants, tomatoes are enjoyed by almost every culture throughout the world with the possible exception of the orient.
Note to Guys; you really need to keep this fact in mind when wooing many Asian princesses.
As the story goes, tomatoes were originally a South American delicacy and were introduced to the world cultures, via the Spanish. At the time, most Europeans were not exactly enthusiastic tomatoes eaters until the French tried them, and began calling them “pommes d’amour”, apples of love. They believed that tomatoes carried powerful aphrodisiac qualities! However, it wasn't until the early 1900’s with the wave of Italian immigration that the tomato gained it's lofty place in the hearts of the people of the United States.
Associating food and prowess has been A link for centuries. Montezuma, Hippocrates, Casanova, felt food and sex were intimately entwined, and most every food from apples to zucchini has been considered to be a sexual stimulant, by one culture or another since Eve flipped an apple to Adam. Indulging in a night of real romance, starts with the intoxicating aroma of food.
Lets skip the small talk, and get down to the really important issues at hand, how can Guys utilize the tomato to Fire up Dolls?
Basil Habañeros Marinara Penne Pasta
A Latin Lovin Hot and Spicy Pasta
1) Heat oil in a large saucepan over medium heat.
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 medium onion, chopped
- 1 medium fresh Habañero pepper, chopped (Careful, you want to turn her on not burn her up)
- 2 to 3 garlic cloves, finely minced *(another powerful aphrodisiac)
- 2 (14 ounce) cans plum (Roma) tomatoes*, hand crushed, or diced, hard cores removed
- 1/2 cup fresh Basil leaves*, tightly rolled and sliced into thin ribbons (save some for a sprinkle)
- Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
- 10 oz penne pasta, cooked al dente (medium firm)
- Parmesan Reggiano cheese. freshly grated
2) Add onions and pepper and cook until both are softened, about 4 to 5 minutes.
3) Add garlic and cook for 30 seconds.
4) Add tomatoes and cook over medium heat, uncovered, for 20 minutes.
5) Add basil and toss several times.
Remove from heat and serve immediately, add the basil and season to taste with salt and pepper, and freshly grated Parmesan Reggiano cheese.
CHARGE!!!!!!
*(another powerful aphrodisiac)
UH...yeah, that's true. However, education level hadn't come into the discussion. I was replying to a wackjob post stating that smart women don't have children, therefore lowering the gene pool and puuting a cap on how intelligent a woman can be. That wackjob statement made no sense, and is insulting to women in general, especially those who rate high on a Wexler and have children. In fact, I have grandchildren....my children have bred and their genes are passing on.
So, -- put the dogs in a kennel and take her with you.
I always took my wife with me when I went to conventions, sales meetings or such.
That was some of the best times we had.
We just hired a good dependable lady as a sitter, or spread the kids out to their freinds. (Their friends parents did the same in return.)
I can sympathise. I was a bodybuilder, and a martial artist. I studied the art for a good ten years before I began bodybuilding in My twenties. For all the years prior to My twenties, I occasionally dabbled in building up, but slow progress and halfhearted attempts discouraged Me quite easily. It was not until I approached it with a totally different mindset that I was succesful. I started bodybuilding because I really, really wanted to build up. No one forced Me into it. Even during boot camp I did not significantly increase in body mass.
You can not force her to become what you wish her to be, just as she can not force you to be what she would wish for you to be.
You would do best, I think, to determine exactly what you need from this relationship, and accept that you must compromise if it is to continue. The fact that you are concerned enough to contemplate attempting some remedial measures for the relationship to continue speaks volumes, as it is better to sit down now and make some difficult decisions when you realize it might hurt her... than too late at another time, when you can not bring yourself to feel any sorrow for the dissolution of it.
I would work on phrases such as "I would enjoy going on walks with you", or "How about taking up some jogging with Me? Your company would make everything else seem unimportant, though, so please (*smile*) try not to distract Me too much, OK?"
If gambits such as these fail to have any effect, you are going to have to sit her down and tell her that her lack of appreciation for herself, as evindenced by her declining concern about her appearance (do not say "increasing weight"!!!), is beginning to affect your (the two of you, say "OUR") relationship, and you feel you need to discuss it, because you do not want to lose her. Think of it in that light, and good luck.
NIV Ephesians 5:25-33
Where in that quote does it say there would be less problems?
Are you claiming that WOMEN don't unilaterally screw up marriages.
Agreed, but you should see some of the other threads on FR, where people try to justify laws forbidding various sorts of consensual sexual behavior by arguing that non-procreative sex is unnatural and perverted. I think the poster in this thread was poking fun at such arguments in other threads.
And bad at spelling too... ;-)
I'm sure that someone has already pointed out that if your first clause is true, your second clause must contain an error -- women bear all kids, at least until medical science gives is the Ronco Wonder Womb, so your cap is on the whole human race, not just women.
But your statement also contains an assumption that is actually a common error. Smart people don't always have equally smart kids. In fact, if they are smarter than average, the statistical tendency is for the kids to be less bright than they are, and closer to the median. But statistical tendency doesn't tell the whole story of the inherited part of intelligence. Because very smart people can have very dumb kids (more rarely than dumb people do, but it happens). And very dumb people can have much smarter kids.
Finally, IQ isn't entirely heritable. Scientists disagree on what percentage it is, from 50% or 60% to a high of 80%. (Yeah, there are scientists that say it is not heritable at all, but they are not people any psychometrician, or even any serious student of human biodiversity, would take seriously).
For lots of good info, analysis and just plain thinking on human differences, including male/female differences, check out Steve Sailer. If you're interested in how evolution has influenced humanity, Steve is a must-read guy.
d.o.l.
Criminal Number 18F
Your entire post is GREAT. The refusal of sex altogether indicates a problem. I can't stand manipulative people at all, whether it's a man or woman withholding sex or using some other manipulative tactic to get their way. It's emotionally immature, causes pain and suffering to those around them, and the manipulative individual doesn't seem to care.
My hubby helps me in the kitchen sometimes too. He even cooks occasionally. He's an excellent cook, though he doesn't do it often. Which is fine by me. He's sitting on the coush, reading a newspaper right now...he asked me if I wanted to watch a movie...after being on this thread and reading these posts, I think I will go cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie. Infortunately, that's all he's gonna get because it's that time of the month.
Those are absolutely great suggestions. Have you tried any of these Delbert? You said she was in great shape before, so there must be physical activities that SHE enjoys....?
Camping (with a TENT and and lots of hiking) is another one. Fishing which requires hiking in and out...if she's into that sort of thing. I am, so I'm prejudiced. I also hike all over looking for various herbs and fossils. Hubby joins me, not that he needs the exercise - I do, though. He just enjoys it, so we have that in common. Hey, how about gardening? Is she into that? Weeding burns something like 400 calories an hour. I forget where I read that, but I'm sure there's info about it on the web.
ROFLOL....laughing too hard to type!
I wasn't going to say anything, but that verse helps me overcome that incredible need to just cuddle and then pass out. When times are tough, nothing (and I mean NOTHING) is more wonderful to me than have my husband wrap his arms around me and just holding me while I fall asleep. But the Biblical ideal of marriage reminds me again and again that marriage is about more than just me.
In the scriptural ideal, marriage is about more than MY needs. If I put his needs first, and he puts my needs first, we both get what we most desire. For him, that would be a big juicy steak and errrrrr, attention. For me, it means cuddling til I fall asleep.
If I based my life solely on doing what I wanted to do, and only doing it when it is the best experience possible for me, then I would never have lived. I would be a hollow shell, devoid of experiences that have enriched me. It is the experimentation, the surprise, the perseverance in love that leads us to experience things beyond what we "want". It is life, and unselfish marriage is the apex of that experience.
My wife and i usually have an hour of foreplay then i roll over and go to sleep because after 10 hours of work a day im tired and after 20 minutes into it shes already asleep!
You know, I absolutely can't understand this. I'm a woman, a mother, and I know what it's like to be completely, totally exhausted after taking care of a chronically ill baby, a toddler, a large house and yard, running errands, doing the shopping, cooking, cleanup, and home renovations by myself. But my husband got sex every single night starting as soon as the doctor permitted it after childbirth. I also recognized that it's not that hard for a woman to participate in sex. I mean, it's not like we have to actually put on a glorious performance every night. What's the problem with these lazy, selfish women? Do they think the world has to revolve around what they want? What do they expect their husbands to do, go into the bathroom and act like they're fourteen years old again?
Yes, obviously we feel some resentment if we're totally exhausted in part because the father of the children hasn't lifted a finger while we are slaving away eighteen or twenty hours a day, seven days a week. But assuming he is a nice normal helpful guy, I don't see why a woman should refuse him.
I would have to disagree. While there are indeed some people who in fact are so wired metabolically that they will always be overweight, this is not true for most people. If someone married another who was already overweight priour to the marriage, and then expressed dissatisfaction with them, I could understand considering their complaint unrealistic, but far too many spouses gain weight AFTER the marriage. Look; I began bodybuilding at about age twenty-five, and I had gone through some stages in My life where I knew I was carrying on with more poundage than was good to Me. However, that being the case, one day I decided that I had had enough, and I was going to start improving Myself. I bought some very good books, and asked lots of advice from others who were into the bodybuilding idea, and worked at it. I mean really, REALLY WORKED. I mean, every other day, I would work out to the point of exhaustion, for an hour or more each session. There were days when I simply did not 'feel' like it, but I forced Myself with the thought that if I did not do My hour of workout that day, then the next time I would have to do TWO hours. It soon became a habit, an I eventually progressed to the point where I was distinctly different from what I looked like when I first started out.
If I can do it, almost anyone can. I tend to prefer books and computers, and am trained in electronics, so you can not claim that only the sports-minded or those with an active lifestyle or the 'right genes' can do it. It is truly amazing what you can accomplish if you really want it.
I wouldn't know. It's never happened.
All of the things I do fall under the category of "wimmin's work" in his humble opinion.
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