Driving Ms. Hillary

U.S. News- Washington Whispers ^ | 05/19/03 | Paul Bedard

[Non-Sequitur]

Considering the number of times my mother-in-law has dinged her car I wish she was as considerate as Senator Clinton.

[Robert A Cook PE]

Funny thing is, she can easily remember how to tell her driver(s) how to blow past an airport checkpoint and run over security guards there....

[Cathryn Crawford]

Thank God. I don't want this...person...on the road with me.

[The Piltdown Man]

This is bad news for Hillary. It shows that she is out of touch. Remember the flack about the elder Bush looking surprise about grocery scanners?

[banjo joe]

She should probably not walk; either, but be carried in a sedan chair. (she thinks). Har!

[doug from upland]

MIDI - BEEP BEEP

While driving with my entourage…much to my surprise
I’m seeing some people along the roadway…it’s me that they despise
I don’t think that I like their attitude…or the mean things they had to say
I’ll get their names and I’ll make sure that they are gonna pay
F-off…F-off…I yelled at them F-off

I’m going to my fundraiser for two thousand and four
And I’ll show the whole planet that no one can call me a stinking whore
When I get back to the White House on daddy’s grave I really have sworn
That I will make the FReepers wish that they were never born
F-off…F-off…I’ll tell them all F-off

I can’t be late for those big bucks…I said, “Driver, let’s go”
At seventy five we’re running late…he is going much to slow
I had warned him that I had an ashtray…and he recalled that I really could hurl
If I were up there on the mound tonight…fans would scream “You go, girl”
F-off…F-off…I told him to F-off

Finally we begin rolling and I’m convinced that we won’t be late
All my entourage has been praying…they don’t want me irate
Then I’m looking out of my window…to see why we came to a stop
If we do not get going soon, I’m gonna blow my top
F-off…F-off…again I scream F-off

We can’t move ‘cause they’re wanting to search and the airport has it rules
I tell the driver to hit them…I am not putting up with fools
A cop has been hurt…he’s fallen…I flip him off with glee
Hey peons I am not slowing down…I’m Queen Hillary

[Non-Sequitur]

As a former first lady, Senator Clinton still has secret service protection. I imagine they have a say in her not driving.

[hole_n_one]

[Ruth A.]

If the Secret Service were behind her not driving, wouldn't her dry stretch be more than 7 years? Methinks the woman doth enjoy her perks.

[OldEagle]

I believe that her holeyness is one of those folks who cannot walk and chew gum at the same time. I doubt she ever could drive.

[MidlandDesperado]

I suggest we have Ted Kennedy appointed as her driver.

[Samwise]

The Secret Service doesn't prevent Dubya from driving his truck--or jet planes.

[mewzilla]

Seven years since she last drove!? Wonder how long it's been since she's used public transpo? Judging from those calves she sure ain't been walking. Just how do you get around, Hilliary?

[Samwise]

I suggest we have Ted Kennedy appointed as her driver.

I'll second that.

[ladyinred]

Her Highness doesn't do anything as menial as driving herself anywhere.

[GoLightly]

Hmmmm, wonder where the term "limosine liberal" comes from?

[ditto h]

She wants to drive a nation , and she can't even drive a car.

[breakem]

I wouldn't mind if she was actually ON the road.

[Cathryn Crawford]

...and me, with a car...