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Are Turtles Protected Under the Second Amendmant?
ESPN ^
| 2003
| Keith "Catfish" Sutton
Posted on 05/09/2003 5:51:48 PM PDT by kissoldspot
Out There: The trouble with turtles
You might think these animals are innocent enough, but you had better watch out; they can inflict serious pain and cause quite a panic
By Keith "Catfish" Sutton
Special to ESPNOutdoors.com
Politicians are trying to fight crime by making it illegal to own various types of firearms. So far, the stumpers haven't tried banning turtles. But it's only a matter of time.
Consider the plight of Tony Brewer in Balch Springs, Texas. Brewer was in a phone booth when two men approached, shoved a snapping turtle in his face and said, "Don't move or you're gonna get bit."
(Excerpt) Read more at espn.go.com ...
TOPICS: Front Page News; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
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To: kissoldspot
Certain kinds of shells are banned in California, I believe.
2
posted on
05/09/2003 5:57:01 PM PDT
by
Ken H
To: kissoldspot
An alligator snapper can actually chase down an adult woman with her foot stuck in two inches of mud and kill her.
I saw it in Frogs.
To: kissoldspot
There will be a five-day waiting period for a turtle background check.
If Clinton dies from a snapper wound, it won't have anything to do with a turtle.
Yertle the Turtle (Dr. Seuss) will become the new NRA mascot.
Will all turtles be banned, assault turtles, semiautomatic turtles, and can one buy a trigger lock for a turtle? BTW, where the heck is a trigger on a turtle? Doesn't that run afoul Bowers v. Hardwick or some San Fran gerbil law?
4
posted on
05/09/2003 6:58:40 PM PDT
by
Young Rhino
(France delenda est)
To: kissoldspot
The laws to disarm blacks used to forbid dogs. Amazing how things come full-circle.
5
posted on
05/09/2003 7:01:10 PM PDT
by
supercat
(TAG--you're it!)
To: supercat
The laws to disarm blacks used to forbid dogs. Jim Crow was used against Fido?
6
posted on
05/09/2003 7:06:46 PM PDT
by
Young Rhino
(France delenda est)
To: kissoldspot
If turtles are outlawed, only outlaws will have trutles.
7
posted on
05/09/2003 7:09:15 PM PDT
by
Wilhelm Tell
(Lurking since 1997!)
To: kissoldspot
Well, let's see, we'd first have to determine if they're conducive towards a well-regulated militia...
8
posted on
05/09/2003 7:22:06 PM PDT
by
inquest
To: kissoldspot
One victims family was quoted as saying, "The incident tortoise a lesson."
9
posted on
05/09/2003 7:30:08 PM PDT
by
Consort
Turtles don't kill Zerbonians,
Zerbonians kill Zerbonians
10
posted on
05/09/2003 8:10:39 PM PDT
by
spectr17
To: kissoldspot
They can have my turtle when they pry it from my wet, slimey hands!!!
To: kissoldspot
I am all for armed turtles, and bears, as long as they are our side.
When hunting snapping turtles in the nude,
NEVER wade in past your knees.
13
posted on
05/09/2003 8:26:40 PM PDT
by
spectr17
To: The Hon. Galahad Threepwood
An alligator snapper can actually chase down an adult woman with her foot stuck in two inches of mud and kill her.
//////////
Wow! Thanks for warning us!
14
posted on
05/09/2003 10:40:21 PM PDT
by
BenR2
((John 3:16: Still True Today.))
To: kissoldspot
Gamera: Say it ain't so, Joe!
To: Double Tap
They can have my turtle when they pry it from my wet, slimey hands!!! Sorry. Turtles -- like the other reptiles -- are dry-skinned. Don't blame your own slime on them.
To: kissoldspot
No, no, no - only bears are covered by the Second Amendment.
To: PeaceBeWithYou
To: kissoldspot
Of course turtles are protected under the second amendment....
As long as they have kept bearing their arms that is, and their shells are loaded.
But a concealed carry of a loaded turtle is difficult, unless you're willing to disguise yourself as a pregnant lady.
19
posted on
05/15/2003 2:58:22 PM PDT
by
Robert A Cook PE
(I support FR monthly; and ABBCNNBCBS (continue to) Lie!)
To: pabianice
Turtles are dry skinned?
Neigh, neigh moose breath!
We had to keep cleaning the algea of off the back of our red-earred slider every week. He couldn't swallow unless he was underwater....
(Perhaps you're thinking of the dry-land, grass-eating tortoises?)
20
posted on
05/15/2003 3:01:02 PM PDT
by
Robert A Cook PE
(I support FR monthly; and ABBCNNBCBS (continue to) Lie!)
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