What title would you prefer to denote two women living as a couple and raising a child/children?
"I also do not want to explain to my 5 year old son that someone intentionally CHOSE to cheat a child out of their relationship with her biological father"
Then don't, and if you don't want your kids having a "public" education, I suggest homeschooling or sending them to a private school.
"And to think of poor Heather either being a nympho to attract men from the lack of one in her life or to the other extreme of being a man-hating Dyke is not the type of person I would like to produce for this society. "
I'm not a man hater or a nympho, so when I have children what will you call me?
By the way... the only way you can be sure not to produce a lesbian is by not having a daughter, as my heterosexual republican parents could tell you.