Posted on 05/07/2003 9:33:07 AM PDT by Mister Magoo
Is You Wicked? By MAUREEN DOWD
ames Baker, the former secretary of state who helped make two Bushes president, the first by sniping at Massachusetts, the second by snatching away Florida, is an extremely careful man.
A dignified diplomat with a deep fear of ridicule, Mr. Baker always keeps his suit jacket and his public utterances buttoned.
That is why I was dumbfounded one recent night to see him being interviewed on HBO by a hip-hop guy wearing fatigues, shades, a skullcap and bling-bling and talking like a British gangsta/Rasta rapper.
The young man was asking a skeptical and increasingly impatient Mr. Baker whether it was wise for Iraq and Iran to have such similar names.
YOUNG MAN: Isn't there a real danger that someone give a message over the radio to one of them fighter pilots, saying, `Bomb Ira——' and the geezer doesn't heard it properly and bombs Iran instead of Iraq?
MR. BAKER: No danger.
YOUNG MAN: How does you make countries do stuff you want?
MR. BAKER: Well, the way you deal with countries on foreign policy issues . . . is you deal with carrots and sticks.
YOUNG MAN: But what country is gonna want carrots, even if it's like a million tons of carrots that you're giving over there——
MR. BAKER: Well, carrots — I'm not using the term literally. You might send foreign aid — money, money.
YOUNG MAN: Well, money's better than carrots. Even if a country love carrots and that is, like, their favorite national food, if they get given them——
MR. BAKER: Well, don't get hung up on carrots. That's just a figure of speech.
YOUNG MAN: So would you ever send carrots? You know, is there any situation——
MR. BAKER: No, no.
YOUNG MAN: What about if there was a famine?
MR. BAKER: Carrots, themselves? No.
The interview was a hilarious classic in the seldom-seen subgenre of international relations humor.
Mr. Baker could outfox Al Gore but not Ali G. The 31-year-old British satirist, whose new HBO show has already become a cult favorite among high school and college kids, came to America to do the same sort of interviews he did in England, putting unwitting V.I.P.'s on the spot.
With his white-gangsta-rapper-wannabe persona, Sacha Baron Cohen, a brilliant graduate of Cambridge, sends up the vacuity of the culture in an era when putting people on TV who attract the right demographic is more important than putting people on TV who know what they're talking about.
But the interviews depend on the subject's not recognizing Ali G or even realizing that he's a comedian.
Ali G scammed Mr. Baker and others into granting interviews by sending them flattering letters on fancy stationery from United World Productions, inviting them to be part of a six-part series for Channel 4 on British TV aimed at explaining the U.S. Constitution to young people.
With his crew, Mr. Cohen went into Mr. Baker's conference room in a dark suit and put on his garish Ali G outfit before Mr. Baker came in.
As in England, Mr. Cohen has left a trail of irritated interviewees in his wacky wake.
Marlin Fitzwater had his doubts when Ali G showed up wearing a red jumpsuit and high-tops and asked inane questions. Like Mr. Baker, Mr. Fitzwater figured that Ali G was dressing for his "hippie" audience. But he ended the interview after Ali G asked him whether Hillary Clinton drank "from the fairy cup."
"I said, `You're an idiot,' " Mr. Fitzwater recalled. "I'd never been lied to like that. I was two steps away from calling the sheriff."
Donald Trump, who walked out of an interview when Ali G tried to pitch the idea of a glove to eat ice cream cones with, recalled: "I thought he was seriously retarded. It was a total con job. But my daughter, Ivanka, saw it and thought it was very cool."
James Woolsey was good-natured when Ali G brought up the grassy knoll and asked, "Who shot J. R.?" Richard Thornburgh was patient when Ali G misinterpreted the meaning of hung juries. And Brent Scowcroft didn't flinch when Ali G asked him, "Did they ever catch the people who sent Tampax through the mail?"
"It was anthrax," Mr. Scowcroft corrected pleasantly.
Ali G is wicked. And to him, that's a compliment.
No Maureen, we aren't laughing WITH you, we are laughing AT you.
Nah, I think she wants to point out how gullible Baker is here while also trying to show that she's still "plugged into" popular culture. (She's probably been dying to work "bling-bling" into a column for months.)
Me too. Just the reactions of the people he interviews when he asks a stupid question is sometimes funnier than the question. When he asked that astronaut (I forget which one) how the people who live on the moon felt when he landed his spaceship there, I thought the guy was going to swallow his tongue.
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