[N. Theknow]

Smoking or non-smoking?

Actually I prefer chewing and swallowing.

[Uncle Jaque]

"Smoking or non-smoking?"

"Shucks; Ah CHEeew, lil' darlin'!"

"Would that be 'Spitting' or 'Non-Spitting'?"...

"Do you have gas? or Did you have gas today?

"Waalll... *a-hyuck*... yeah, now that ya mention it... but if ye jus' keep th' door open a spell I reckon it'll clear in an hour or so." (Securing top button of raincoat)...
"HEeeeey; where'd everybody GO???"