T-shirts back gays at Duke

newsobserver.com ^ | April 28, 2003 | Jane Stancill

[Living Free in NH]

DURHAM -- At Duke University, being OK with being gay is something of a fashion statement these days.

In the past two weeks, hundreds of students have been seen wearing T-shirts that say, simply: "Gay? Fine by me."

Duke President Nan Keohane has one. Duke basketball players Nick Horvath and Shavlik Randolph have been spotted in the shirts.

"They're everywhere," said senior Amanda Poston, who got hers Thursday from the boxes of free shirts on a breezeway outside the student union. "This is a peaceful, passive way we can express how we feel."

The trend was started by a group of friends, gay and straight, who decided something had to be done about the perception that Duke is a homophobic place. A few years ago, the Princeton Review rated Duke as the most gay-unfriendly campus in the United States.

So the students thought up a slogan, ordered 500 T-shirts and planned to give them away to as many people as would take them.

The shirts were gone by noon the first day. A rush order of an additional 250 disappeared in about 15 minutes. In 10 days, 1,800 shirts were snapped up.

"We've been giving them away as fast as we can make them," said Leila Nesson, a graduate student in history.

Some were reluctant at first, she said, muttering, "I'll pass," when they saw the message on the shirts.

"Once it was clear there were hundreds of students wearing them," she said, "that was no longer a problem."

The shirts became a must-have.

The friends solicited donations from student groups on campus. They raised $7,200 to pay for the shirts.

Spring classes are over, but the group has contacted college students across North Carolina to suggest similar T-shirt giveaways in the fall. N.C. State University, UNC-Chapel Hill, N.C. Central University and Guilford College have expressed interest.

The "fine by me" movement at Duke hasn't been without controversy, though. A group of feminists said the message was troubling. "Perhaps we should invest in a 'It is not my right to authorize your sexuality' shirt," they wrote in an e-mail message.

Abigail Weliver, a senior who stopped by the shirt booth last week, doesn't see it that way.

"I don't think it's necessarily validation," she said. "It's more a sign of solidarity and support and friendship."

Staff writer Jane Stancill can be reached at 956-2464 or janes@newsobserver.com.

[Lee'sGhost]

"I said 'So let me see if I have this straight. Religious people are weird and don't belong on campus, but people that don't know what sex they are are normal? And need their own center?'"

Dude, you must have ruined their whole week. Logic isn't their strong suit. I bet they spent ours trying to figure out a workable response -- rather than acknowledging the logic, conducting analytical thinking, and then admitting the flaw of their beliefs.

[wardaddy]

I have an old uncle by marriage like that in Jackson. Incredibly discreet. No one would ever ever know. His private life is totally private. If anyone mentioned gay to him, he would faint. It's simply not brought up in proper conversation.

I also have an old aunt...other side of the family...she's lived with her girlfriend and her sister forever...since the late 50s...again...very discreet. I have never ever heard mention of their arrangement in my 45 years...it simply is not brought up. My old Barnard professor girlfriend some 18 years ago now used to think we were all nuts or in denial because we did not discuss this openly in front of them or trumpet it.

I always asked her why should we? They don't bring it up so why should we? We all know it and accept it and move on. It's almost a non-issue. They have all been wonderful relatives too actually. I've deer and bird hunted with the gentleman all my life and the ladies are very adept at knitting goodies for my children...really intricate stuff.

I like it better this way myself....but, it's a bygone era isn't it? I'm talking about homosexual relatives in their late 70s now. The new breed aggravates me at times when they clamour for special status.

You know Jackson has had some notrious flaming attorneys and serious scandals in the past? I'm not going there...some of them might still be alive.

[wbill]

Busted. :-)

[Dan from Michigan]

If I was by there, I'd get a shirt that says.
"Gay? Who gives a rat's ass".

[longtermmemmory]

so Duke is a Homosexual University, like any other same sex university? No with my dollars. Mental note: employee applicants with a degree from duke have a less valuble education.

[RonF]

I said "So let me see if I have this straight. Religious people are weird and don't belong on campus, but people that don't know what sex they are are normal? And need their own center?"

Nah. They were just stunned at the pun.

[weegee]

How about:

"You do what with sheep?!!"

or even just:

"Don't Draw Me A Picture"

[wbill]

Also, I might add that after seeing the admins that Carolina has to offer, I think that I'd send my kids to State. (now donning asbestos underwear, flame away)

They're mostly nice people, just really clueless. One of them was excited about taking next week off - with pay - because her job was 'stressful lately'. My tax $$ at work....

I think I'll go tell my boss that I'm stressed and need next week off. See what my response is.....

[judgeandjury]

And don't forget that Danny Ferry played for Duke around this time, too. We Kentucky fans have long memories.

Are you implying that a "Ferry" kicked your collective butts?

[longtermmemmory]

Its not illegal to discriminate against all graduates of Duke University.

[IowaHawk]

Enola Gay? Fine By Me (with mushroom cloud)

[wbill]

Thank you, thank you. Got a million of them, nice to be appreciated. The people in question were clueless, however.

And as for them forming a response, I'd guess something along the lines of 'bigoted, intolerant, hateful, blah blah blah, you're probably gay and covering it up'. Seen it and been there before.

Still don't know what, other than 4 years of college, my Southern Democrat, moderate-to-conservative wife has in common with these people. And how do I deal with them? Alcohol. In large quantities.

[RonF]

Well, my personal theory is that you have to talk about things with people that you disagree with in order to ensure that your own thoughts, arguments, etc., are founded on more than one's own predjudices, etc.

[Hatteras]

My boss taught Theology at Duke before he realized he could make more money in computer software development. His wife is still a professor at Duke. Both are disgustingly liberal to the point that I won't even bring up current events in regards to politics. And if he does, I just nod my head and move on. I'd love to say something, but the job market right now dictates that I keep my thoughts to myself. I've got mouths to feed...

[longtermmemmory]

so if you take the free shirt and use a fat black magic marker and draw an "X" over the word "gay" so it says in essence, No gay fine by me. Would that violate duke's thought code?

[Khepera]

How about wearing a T-shirt that says "Gays Suck" would they allow that?

[wbill]

That's more-or-less my theory as well. It's nice to preach to the choir occasionally, though. :-)

However, logical discourse is fairly difficult with these people. For instance, there are many logical arguments pro- and anti- gay rights on campus. If I come up with anything that differs from the group opinion, though, I'm a bigot and shouted down.

Usually, I just hold my tongue, in interest of keeping the peace with the wife.

[RonF]

I had an interesting discussion just Saturday. We had a bunch of our Scouts out on a campout. The boys went into a cave. A couple of the adults went with them. I stayed outside and struck up a conversation with a couple of the other adults.

One of whom is an ex-military man, 15 years in, in military intelligence.

Another of whom is married to a Palestinian.

Can you spell "Difference of Opinion"? HAH! Interesting stuff, though. Both managed to remain civil.

[glorgau]

How about:

Gay. That's why it's called queer.

[wbill]

Funny story about that. I went to a large Northern college that will remain nameless (OK Hatteras, go find this one).

The local Act-Up group went around spray-painting pink triangles on the buildings, sidewalks, walls, etc, all over campus. Some sort of a protest thing, I dunno. At any rate, the Campus paper and radio station kept holding this graffitti up as a fantastic thing, good to protest and bring enlightment, the perpetrators were open-minded and strong gay people showing their empowerment, etc etc etc.

One night, two people that will remain nameless decided that they had enough - please note that we, er, they had both consumed a liberal quantity of beer at the time. They went around with their own spray paint and put a circle and slash through all the pink triangles they could find.

Next day, the campus paper headlined on the "criminals" that "defaced the campus" with graffitti and screamed that we needed to be brought to justice.

Fortunately, the perpetrators still remain at large, years later. Hope that the statue of limitations has run out.