Goldilocks walks (GIRL FREED DESPITE EATING PORRIDGE, USING BEDS)

San Jose Mercury News ^ | today | Kim Yo

[Rodney King]

Goldilocks was free to get lost in the woods again after a jury acquitted her of burglary charges Thursday, apparently buying into the defense's argument that no child would break into a house just to eat Mama Bear's awful porridge.

[Rodney King]

We did this when I was in the 6th grade. Which would have been about 1984. I was the foreman of the jury and we convicted her.

I am quite surprised that she won here, given that she is a priveleged white girl and the bears are discriminated against in society. I guess these kids havne't taken racism masked as compassion 101 yet.

[Brian Mosely]

What about those destruction of property charges (huffing and puffing) that The Big, Bad Wolf is facing? Has that been bound over to the grand jury yet?

[skinkinthegrass]

How about the assualt charges filed by "The Three Blind Mice" ?...the Cow Jumping Over The Moon?...where's the FAA,Homeland Security?... :)

[CounterCounterCulture]

Figures, playa. Whitey gets away with it yet again. Shamiqua would have been found guilty in a heartbeat. The system is rigged against the sistah. Word.

[Celtjew Libertarian]

Not to mention the sexual assault charges on the prince who woke Sleeping Beauty and immorality charges against the seven dwarfs. Little Red Riding Hood's mother is being charged with failing to adequately supervise her daughter, while the huntsman is being charged with killing a protected animal.

I've also heard that Snow White's Fairy Godmother is being sued for making shoes, while not belonging to the shoemakers' union, but that may just be a load of cobblers.

[tcostell]

Actually, we did the same thing in High School (about 197x) and I was the defense attorney.

I got her off the hook by attacking the credibilty of talking bears as witnesses.

I argued that someone who isn't civilized enough to be toilet trained can hardly be a reliable witness in a criminal proceeding, and everyone know... "Bears do $hit in the woods."

I got an A.

[Heyworth]

Did anyone catch this line:

Annamaria Armijo-Hussein, a 12-year-old member of the prosecution team whose mother teaches religion and rebellion at Stanford,

I can't decide if the name and the description are a joke or not.

[Stay the course]

Jacqueline Armijo-Hussein, Acting Assistant Professor (Harvard), specializes in the study of Islam in China from the earliest period to contemporary issues involving Muslim minorities in China today.  Her current research projects include Islamic education in China and the impact of Chinese Muslims studying in Islamic universities overseas, and the role of gender and religion in the survival of minority communities that have experienced periods of mass violence and persecution.  She also teaches courses on Islam and Gender, the minority peoples of China, and religion and rebellion in China.

[eno_]

There's nothing funny about it. If Tom Ridge, John Ashcroft, and the RIAA don't send this so-called "Goldilocks" to Gitmo, next thing you know she'll be violating the Economic Espionage Act and writing Gnutella client software.

[muir_redwoods]

Isn't the so-called "Big Bad Wolf" an endangered species? By what right does the Woodsman, a forest rapist if ever there was one, kill the wolf. I demand an inquiry!!

[Badray]

"I can't decide if the name and the description are a joke or not."

Yeah, that caught my attention too. First the 'rebellion teacher' and then the name. I guess truth is stranger than fiction.

[Heyworth]

Now that I actually read the full description, I gotta say that the class sounds kinda interesting.

[proust]

It's obvious to me that this "Big Bad Wolf" is the victim of racial profiling and cultual stereotyping. And aren't we passing judgement on the guy by calling him bad? To make sure we don't hurst his feelings or damage his self esteem, we should call him the size challenged, less than positive, wolf.

And what about his childhood? If he was raised in a pack of wolves, then it can't possibly be his fault that he commited those crimes.

[freepatriot32]

no child would break into a house just to eat Mama Bear's awful porridge.

if the porridge makes you sick you must acquit :-)